Muy Importante

In familiar fashion, before I go, it'd only be fair to write a few words about the people who made my summer truly great. Unfortunately, I took less than a dozen pictures all summer, so I don't have current photos to go with. If a photo is there, it'll be an old one. But, I'll get working on that...

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Ma and Pa

My parents deserve to come first. They are great.

It was so nice to come home to a house with brand-new carpet and an HD, plasma, flat-screen, wall-mounted TV. I don't watch it by myself because I can't be bothered to learn how to use it, but it's still cool.

Al Gore WOULD NOT be glad to know that my parents only use each bathroom towel one time before washing, but since he doesn't read this blog, I think we're ok. Not environmentally-friendly, but ok.

Mi madre has been INCREDIBLE to let me borrow her car this summer. We are taking turns being very flexible and easy when it comes to getting places. It's going very well.

Between the three of us, we work 5 jobs. My dad's new job is top secret. Something about running drugs or something.

It's one great household...

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Nikki

She's my bestest friend.

I actually hate everything about her, but she's still my bestest friend.

(In the world.)

The end.

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AB

My auntie is a pretty cool lady. She's kinda like a second mom and a second grandma. She's one of my number one fans, and I hers. Each year, we do this great dinner get-together called Shishka-Sunday at her place, and it's one of the highlights of the summer. She takes care of all of us well, and makes sure we always have what we need. In times of need, she's there to support, whether it be a kind word or a trip to Target.

She's the bee's knees.

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Kelli

Leave it to my silly cuzzie to get knocked up, but, out of her came little baby Corbin, who is the sweetest little baby...

Kel and her husband Justin are great together. They have a cute little house and cute appliances and a cute little garden and a cat and a dog and a baby. This week they asked me to house-sit, which seemed like a good idea until I realized how irresponsible I tend to be sometimes. Note to self - put warning on future housesitting offers...

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Grandpa and Grandma Dunaway

Grandpa - My golf partner. How cool is that?










Grandma D. -
Spoils me with the BEST jell-o salad EVER, AND still lets me beat her at Yahtzee!










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The Foremans

Grandpa and Grandma on the farm - They're still making the best ice cream and BLTs on the planet!









Dad and Lisa in Indianapolis - They're always welcoming and fun to visit. It's great to see my little brother Sam and sister Sara grow so big and so smart!









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Jen and Pete

My oldest Aunt and newest Uncle. Adventureland was a blast, and seeing both of them this summer was too. They were so kind to loan out their basement last year for some of my personal effects (What, me have more stuff than fits at my parent's house? No...). As we grow older, we get closer and closer, which is great. I look forward to spending more and more time with them in the future.

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Tera

Yay for Tera who is finally getting married! It's about time! Woo hoo! I can say with 100% certainty that she and Zach will truly, truly be happy together...


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The Team

(in ABC order): Aimee, Amy, Danielle, Karyn, Melissa, Tamara
This group of girls is too cool for school. I've been involved with them for more than 4 years now. They are the gals that got me started in teaching, and they are still there at the end. To return the favor, I spend days in their classrooms helping set up, or spend time with them and sometimes their kids. In 4 years, the same core 5 of us are still around, with one or two great additions each year. If you count some of the coolest kindergarten teachers on the planet (Brooke, Rutz, Wendy...), you've got a group of teachers that can't be beat. We have a heck of a time together, when we get together, and I count them as six of the greatest friends I have.

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Lucas, Jane, Matthew, and Lauren

I love my kiddos! These four are former ones who all took time out of their summers to spend time with Miss F...
**Lauren got me started by offering me a spot in her yard during the Fourth of July parade. It was like having front-row tickets to the big show!
**I spent two nights hanging out with Lucas, once having dinner with his family, and once at a movie with him and his sister.
**Jane and her mom took some time out of their very busy schedule to paint pottery with me. Jane even painted me a popcorn dish to go with all of my others!
**Matthew and his mother were very gracious this summer, taking me out to lunch twice and arranging a 'private' tour of Matthew's school. It was pretty cool.

To all of my 1FO friends who I've seen or have gotten e-mails from (Tate, Macy, Mikey, Meg...) THANKS!

Two truths and a lie...

Oh! Let's have an interactive blog!

Here's the thinking behind my idea...

A couple of weeks ago, as I was daydreaming my arrival in Japan, I was thinking about my first days in Waukee, where, as a new teacher, I had to get up and talk a bit about myself. In professional settings, I've always tried to be a bit discreet, but thought that in Japan, I might let my freak flag fly, and instead, get up in front of everyone and play 'Two truths and a lie' out loud so that people could get to know me that way.

That same week, I tried this game out on my parents. We were at the local theme park having a good time, and I introduced the game to Mom and Garyls, who weren't sure of how to play it. Once they learned the rules, though, we played it all night at the park with my aunt Jen and uncle Pete. We'd just be walking through the park and yell out a statement, to which everyone else had to decide if it was a truth or a lie. We had a blast!

Playing the game with friends and family is a bit tougher, because they know more about you, but playing with strangers is a riot, and is best played with lots of liquor. I have about 40 great statements saved in my head for future use, and I can turn any of them into a lie by switching small details. That way, I don't really have to make up anything absurd about my life, which is a secret to playing the game well.

But now, here's where you all come in...

I'm going to post two truths and a lie about myself. You can all guess which is right and which isn't if you want, but for even more fun, I'd just prefer that you post a comment (and be sure to sign your name in the name box!) for everyone to read that has two truths and a lie about YOU!

Oh! It will be so fun!

Two truths and a lie for me:

1. I actually have three tattoos...
2. I'm secretly a closet High School Musical fan...
3. My favorite food is ravioli in a can...

Not in America...

Like Borat, I love the US and A, but coming back was a bit of a shock. Although the initial 'whoa' has worn off, here are some little things that I'm still noticing about how my life is different now than it was two months ago...

In America, I:

can't give cheek kisses or hugs to people upon greeting. Most of them look shocked and sometimes squirm away (Marc Mattis!). Even my own family, sometimes, but I think they're getting used to it...

can't use abusive and inappropriate language in the workplace.

can't say 'black' when referring to an African-American.

can't wear frocks and leggings and skinny jeans without feeling a bit silly.

can't say 'Whatever, guys, I'm easy' without getting sniggers from people. That's a funny one (that I've come to start saying just to get sniggers from people).

couldn't seem to ever get a free drink and meal with every shift worked at Betts.

can't find a gay person hardly anywhere. Ok, that's only Iowa, actually...

Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons I Love Iowa:

10. Running through the corn and screaming at the top of your lungs is really as fun as it looks on tv.

9. Getting beat by one grandpa in cards is just as fun as getting beat by the other grandpa in golf.

8. Driving time from East Des Moines to West Des Moines? 20 minutes flat, no matter what time of day.

7. White trash.

6. So what if the I-Cubs are only Triple-A? The nachos are good...

5. Family, friends, and old flames.

4. Home-ade-ice-cream (and lots of it!).

3. Two words: severe weather.

2. Watermelon is much more fun to eat now that I've learned the adult
truth that the seeds won't ACTUALLY grow in my stomach.

1. Mmmmmm.... bacon.

Corbin

This is my baby cousin.

He's SUCH a cutie. He has a great mommy who happens to be one of my best friends (making me a bit partial). He's such a good boy - he hardly cries and always smiles. He's super strong and super smart already. He comes from good stock, I reckon...

We loves to listen to Raffi sing 'Five Little Ducks' at Barnes and Noble. He'll be a Starbucks junkie before you know it, if I have anything to say about it.

I've always disliked it when people dote on their family babies, but never mind that.

He's worth it.

231

Today's blog is brought to you by the number 1776 and the letters USA.

Happy 231st birthday, America!

Today one of my former kiddos, Lauren, invited me to come and sit at her house for the Waukee parade. Her house is right on the route (pronounced 'root'), so it was a great view. When I arrived, she and her mom had made a sign that said 'Welcome back, Miss Foreman!' I joked that if they would have had a convertible, I could have ridden in the parade and threw out candy.

In the night I went to my very first Cubs game of the season with my pa. We had a blast. We swore and cheered and spit and burped. I had my first nachos with runny yellow cheese, which was TO DIE FOR. The 12 year-old who made them must have figured I hadn't had nachos in awhile, as he loaded them high with lots of goodies. Yummy yum...


Any celebration is a good reason to eat nachos.

Happy birthday, America.

My First Day

My first day in the US was almost as tragic as my first day in Auckland.

Begin: getting on my second flight from Tahiti (layover) to LA.

For the first time on an international flight, I have to share my seat with others. Not only am I not good at sharing, but I don't sleep well sitting up. Amount of sleep gotten on combined 14 hour flight: 5 hours.

Arrive in LA.

Turn on my cell phone and realize that it won't work in the US (lesson learned: never trust a friend who tells you your NZ phone will work in the US). Even bigger bummer since I paid $40 for credit right before I left. Now am $40 short AND without a phone. Consider pretending to call people and have imaginary conversations so that it looks like I'm talking into my non-working phone, but think better of it and decide not to.

Am extremely disappointed in how incredibly rude people are. Bypass a shouting match with a lady who thought her ticket issues were more important than everyone else's. Deal with disgruntled airline workers. Am treated badly.

Make first phone call from airport pay phone to Aunt Barb. Was pleased to only pay $.50 for the call. 'Am in America;' I say. She relays the message to Mom.

Make it to the plane on time. Whew. No Cinnabon, though. Gutted.

By the time I reach the ground at Vegas, have decided that if I never step foot on an airplane again, it will be too soon.

Get baggage and get to hotel with very little effort (whew!). Only bummer? My hotel room is three doors from the furthest spot from the elevator. With no exaggerations, I have to turn through 7 corridors to get to it. It's a long walk.

At ticket counter, am asked to pay for the second night's room. Thinking I had already paid it, I was confused. Then I realized that I had only previously paid for one night, and am glad to hand over my debit card.

Debit card denied. Credit card expired. No cash. Can't book second night until Mom comes and does it on her card, which won't be until 11 that night.

Come up to room and try to use internet ($12.95/day), but can't connect as there's no credit card on file to charge it to. As a result, can't check bank balances to find deficit.

Try to call Aunt Barb again from the room, but can't make a long-distance call as there's no credit card on file to charge it to.

Grab $1 and the room key and head downstairs to call Aunt Barb on the hotel pay phone. The pay phone is in the furthest lobby from my hotel room. Figures.

Put my dollar in and dial Auntie. The phone asks for another $2.60. I don't have another $2.60. I try to call collect. The phone won't let me. Don't have my wallet with me to buy a calling card from the gift shop.

Decide to fugeddabouddit, and head back up to the room to take a bath, which I have already drawn the water for (and left to cool). When I reach the hotel room, my key won't work. I try it again and again, and again and again it won't work.

I use the guest phone in the hallway to call the front desk (there's no way I'm walking all the way back down the hall, waiting for the lift, and going to the desk). The lady connects me to the security department.

The security head answers the phone, but tells me that it is shift-change time, and that there are no workers to come let me in my room for another 30 minutes.

I decide it would have been nice to know that in advance, as I would have robbed the damn place if I'd have known that there was no security for 30 full minutes. I decide against this idea, and instead wait for exactly 3o minutes, sitting outside the door of my room, for security to come.

And then I finally got my bath and the day was good again.

Viva, Las Vegas.

(photo: New York New York hotel where we stayed)

LAX

LAX

My first impressions of America
by Wendy, ex-pat and semi-experienced world traveler
(written in order)

1. I forgot that in some countries, policemen wear guns.

2. What a beautiful flag!

3. Muy bien, gracias. Y tu?

4. Listen, you don't have to be so rude.

5. Oh! A hummer!

6. Everyone is so... American.

7. I'm so... American. I sound just like everyone else here...

8. No Cinnabon in this terminal? Damnit!

9. Everything is seemingly half-price!

10. Oh! Another hummer!

11. That IS a lot of water in the toilet bowl.

12. Oh! USA Today!

13. Peanut butter M&Ms. Mmmmmm...

14. Look. A hummer.

15. A man spanked his young child (very hard) and then said to him 'You don't hit.' (um, hello?)

16. The man next to me smells really bad.

17. I smell really bad.

18. (and last, but not least) The following announcment overhead, spoken in a genuine Bob Barker-type voice:

Katherine Emery! Katherine Emery! Please head back down to Terminal A where you LEFT your LUGGAGE. Katherine Emery! Come on DOWN to collect the luggage that YOU left in Ter-min-al A!!!!

(the second time he called it out, he slipped a couple of 'yo's in it, which put the whole of gate 4B in stitches!)

Goodbye Friends

One last party for my last night.


Would you believe me if I told you that at dinner last night (which I planned two months in advance) was the first time my flatties and I have ALL eaten together?? Would you believe it? So, it was pretty special to eat with all of them. Doug brought Noriko, his girl, and I brought Christian, my man. We ate at Gina's, where I have enjoyed 6 meals now in Auckland. Fitting that it was the first restaurant I ate at upon arrival, and was the last one I ate at before departing.

After that, I invited all of my awesome, random friends to for one last drink at (fitting, I know...) SPQR. What fun that was. 25 of my greatest friends showed up throughout the night to wish me farewell, and buy me a drink, and take some photos. Olga promised to play my favorite SP song before I went too, which happened near the end of the night. It was my favorite part.



So, to all of my friends, the kindest thanks for being with me on my last night.

It was magic.

Goodbye Richmond Road

My last day at school was the best ever.


First of all, all of the kids showed up. All of them. That's the first time this term that I've had all of my kiddos at once, as there is usually always one or two missing. This allowed me to take GREAT pictures that I printed off and gave to the kids as going-away prezzys.

In the morning, we danced. We danced the Hokey Pokey, did the limbo to The Limbo Rock, and of course, danced the Macarena.

After first block, at morning tea, the teachers and staff had planned a tea shout (a food party) just for me. It was the biggest feast I've ever seen. They all sang to me in Maori, gave speeches and presents, and just made me feel great. It was amazing.

During second block, my kids got to sing Maori songs with the vice-principal. That was neat too.

The best part of my day was the first part of last block during Jump Jams. We do Jump Jams with the kids once or twice a week, but on this day, all of the school (minus one or two classes) showed up. Just imagine 300 kids just jamming away to dance songs - so cool. All of their arms and legs moving at the same time in the same direction... The Jump Jams teacher, Nina, was sick, so I (beings as it was my last day, I love to dance, and was really excited to see the kids all dancing) led the troupe. We danced our rears off, laughing and smiling the whole time. The VERY best part of my day was when Jump Jams was over (after one last Macarena) and the principal Hayley sent all the kids my way, and we had a 200 person hug that lasted about 10 minutes. It started off as everyone, but turned into a mile-long line of kids, queueing up to give me a hug.


It was magic.

I will very, very, very much miss Richmond Road.

Very, very much.

A Cuppa

Occam (across from my house)

Sliced (across from school)

One 2 One (across from SPQR)

These are the three places where I generously donate a weekly percentage of my paycheck in return for a good cup of coffee and a scone. Sometimes, the donation happens up to 3 times a day. Sometimes, the donation includes lunch.

My happiest little moments are small, like when I go to Occam and queue up in line behind 5 people, and the barista has my coffee ready for me before I even order. I just pay, and they push it across the counter. They know me that well, which is impressive in a city of over a million.

This sign, though, is a bonus to my coffee fetish. It's on the path between my walk from Occam (for my first cup of morning joe) to Sliced (the second cup before starting school). It was a speed bump sign that someone cleverly painted over.










He he...

Mi Casa

Besides the pictures lining two walls and the sheets on my bed, this is everything I own.

It's my little closet full of stuff.

And I like it.

On the toppest shelf are 5 bottles of wine and three suitcases, two cans of tennis balls and a hat from a friend. On the far right of the second shelf is The White Album, in vinyl. It's my luxury item. Hanging from the rod are both of my tennis rackets, my clothes, and an American flag. My school supplies are in the plastic, and my shoes compile most of the mess.

It's neat to know that I can live off of so little. I bet my parents are glad too, as knowing that I can live off of so little means that I'll come home and throw everything else I own away, thus freeing up heaps of space in their garage.

But soon, when I pack all that you see into three luggage cases, I know that I will miss my little closet...

Goodbye SPQR

Last night was my last night at SPQR. I had a great night, but was very, very, very sad.

When an employee leaves, it is tradition say goodbye in his/her own words, written in the staff bathroom. I was no exception.











Goodbye, SPQR.

Brrrrrr

It is so cold here.

Brrrrrr.

Winter has approached.

They like to officially say that winter starts on the first day of June. I hold my tongue and don't say, 'Guys, that's not right, as the solstices are, and have always fallen on the 21st-22nd of seasonal months.'

Whatever.

Be it winter or late fall, it's cold!

I previously mentioned that houses here are not heated or cooled by standard units. In the summer, you rot with the windows open, hoping that a breeze comes in, and in the winter, you freeze with the space heater on, trying to keep your toes, which are frozen to the wooden floor, warm.

Outside, there's no snow. Just cold temperatures and an often fairly strong (cold) breeze.

I have one large space heater that Ian didn't want, so I keep my room warm at night with that. Walking into the hall in the morning, though, is another story. It's like a refrigerator. And don't even try to keep warm from the hot shower to your room. Ha!

Lately, though, I've taken to putting the heater in the hallway so that our common walking area is warmer. It makes it feel like Christmas. Just without Santa and stuff.

Aunt Barb would probably give me a growling, but I never wear socks. I hate them. I don't wear them at home, and I don't wear them when I go out. I wear slip on shoes, mostly, and of course without socks. I know it's my own fault that I'm cold all of the time, but I really do think I have a permanent set of goose-bumps building into my skin.

To top it all off, I sold my bed, and am back to sleeping on the floor. The cold floor. Which, for a few days, is really ok. Cold, but ok.

For once, I'm looking forward to a hot Iowa summer.

Ian

The tall, quiet one.

I don't have much to say about Ian.

He's just the tall, quiet one.

He sleeps next to me.

He works hard and is very smart at what he does.

He just got a new girlfriend. She cost about $26,000. She's chrome and red, has handle bars, two wheels, and is named Harley. I guess since all of his friends had motorbikes, it would only be fitting that Ian needed one too.

He's not too assertive, which makes him quite kind. He can't be bothered to make decisions, and prefers to just go with the flow.

He'd probably do anything for you if you asked.

He's very polite.

Every once in awhile we eat at the Food Court or catch up for a game of tennis. Ian has become quite good, and has learned to use his strengths on the court (size and speed) to even beat me a couple of times.

Ian and I used to be a lot closer. We'd sit on the couch and spend whole evenings just watching tv and talking and not talking. We'd make dinner together, go to the store together, and just hang out while the rest of the house was busy. But, as time has gone on, we've both become busier, and have had less and less time to just sit. So, Ian and I just don't do that anymore, which is ok. On the rare occasions when we do just sit and watch the telly, I really enjoy it.

Ian is the glue in our house. He's the one that secretly keeps us all calm and in order. And I don't even think he realizes it. But he is pretty great. I am lucky to have been able to live with Ian and now call him a friend. He's a pretty cool guy.

But that's about all I have to say about Ian.

The tall, quiet one.

M

M is for Mareta.

We two are the most unlikely people you'd find together, actually.

Mareta is the Year 1 teacher at Richmond Road. Every Thursday, it's her job I take while she has a day of release. Hers is the classroom I share. Hers is a friendship I value very much.

M is actually older than my mom, but she has the youth and vitality of a 30-year old. She is a vibrant Samoan, has two grown children, drives a 1973, grass green Mercedes, and is very intelligent.

When we spend time together we do heaps of things. She'll pick me up on Sunday and take me on tiki-tours of the city. We go out to eat, meet for drinks after school, and have coffee together two or sometimes three times a day.

I appreciate M's uniqueness. I think I first loved her when she told me the story about her marriage. She had Charlotte, her oldest, very young, and married Kris, Charlotte's father, a few years after. They've been together for more than 17 years now, but recently made an interesting change in their relationship. When things were getting a little hairy, they decided to move out and live separately, which they do now. It seems to work great, and they've never gotten along better. She's happier, the kids are happier, and everything is working out well with no intention of changing. Her telling me this story was one of those eye-opening moments (such as with David's moms) that made me realize that life has to be lived the way that works for you, and that sometimes the pre-subscribed norms don't always suit everyone.

But most importantly, M was my rock during a recent hard period. She was able to listen and give me advice about it, from a friend and from a somewhat motherly point of view. She even had some really great bits of advice that included Sunday School verses, and we had a crack-up about that. Funnily enough, she was in a similar situation that I was able to listen to and advise as well. We've learned a lot from each other.

I'll sure miss the kids at Richmond Road, but mostly, I'll miss the atmosphere that included Mareta and her beautiful smile. Her love of life is contagious, and anyone else who wanders into her path in the future will surely be as lucky as I was.

Slanguage, part two

I just know that when I come home I'm going to use all of these new words that people don't understand and everyone is going to look at me and say 'huh?' Fitting, I reckon, as I did the same upon my arrival. At the end of my stay, though (and as a forewarning to my trip home) I provide you with one more look at a few more of my favorite kiwi words.

choice - cool
I reckon - I agree, I think
keen - up for, would like to
hottie - hot water bottle
sunnies - sunglasses
sook - cry baby
my shout - I'll pay
togs/swimmers - bathing suits
bach - vacation home (I won't be using that one so much, but still like it!)
sprogs - children
chocka - full or overflowing
ice block - popsicle
jumper/jersey - sweater or coat
pudding - dessert
tea - snack or a meal
tuck/tucker - food/eating

and my personal favorite...

as - very something (sweet-as, tired-as, hot-as, quiet-as, white-as, etc...)

check out this website for more authentic kiwi slang:
http://www.nz-immigration.co.nz/lifestyle/slang-words.html

Japan Facts

Things I've learned about Japan since deciding to go there. Must-know information if you ask me...

Did you know that according to the Japanese Health MInistry, the Japanese are among the world's longest-lived people, with 28,395 people over the age of 100, as of September 2006.

There are no 24-hour ATMs in Japan.

Japanese people die on the fourth of the month more than any other dates.

30 million residents makes Tokyo the most-populated city in the world.

Over 90% of the population buy a comic book daily.

In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.

Mark, Andy, and the rest of the bloody crew...

I work with heaps of cool, cool cats at SP. I really think that most of them deserve a quick mention, as they have been a huge part of my life for the last 10 months. So, let me introduce the rest of the bloody crew to you. In small doses...

Mark:
If you could imagine a really handsome Pee Wee Herman, that's Mark. People in New Zealand love to kiss on the cheek when they greet, but I've become accustomed to greeting Mark by kissing him smack on the lips, which, at one time, would have been way outside my comfort zone. His favorite words are 'lady!' and 'mongrel!' or 'minge!' or 'minger!' He'll say 'Hurry up, Lady,' or 'Watch it, you mongrel,' to just about anyone. But he says it in the most fun voice. He's never cross, and is a brilliant manager.He and his partner Phil have been together for a couple of years, and are really, really cute. Mark is one of my favorite people to work with because he's so clever, funny, simple, and easy to get along with. Whenever I'm at a table taking an order or carrying drinks, he comes up from behind and unties my apron so that it falls off mid-stride. Real funny stuff.
(photo: coming soon)


Andy:
Andy is special. He calls me Wendy Forearm, he says 'You're aMAYZEing' to everyone, and he gets finicky over the smallest things. When I started at SP, people warned me about Andy, but he has always been one of my FAVORITE managers. He's really handsome and quite kind. Like Mark, he is one of my favorites to work with because he just gets it. Plus, the stuff he says is SO hilarious. He's almost as funny as Pene (see bottom). He and his (very hot) partner Clinton have also been together for awhile. Today I was at work having lunch with Christian and I was telling Andy how much I was really, really going to miss SP when I left. Andy's reply? 'Yes, babe. Nowhere in the world will you recieve such severe sexual harassment as this. Well, no, wait. I have a lot of friends all over the world.' To which I smiled and said, 'Thank God.'
(photo: Clinton (Andy's partner), Andy, myself, Jade, Christian)

Jade:
An exceptional human being and brilliant manager, Jade is a midwife in real life. SP financed her time in midwife , which worked out well for her. We try to catch up for a beer now and then, and one time even had a 'beer lunch' where we drank a lot of beer before going to work and having to do a shift. Made the night go really, really quickly. Funny enough, for the person I worked with the least, she knows more about my goings-on at work than most people. We share a couple of secrets worth keeping. She is really great, really nice, and an exceptionally hard worker. Jade is someone you could learn a lot from.
(see previous photo)


Burge:
We have three guys named James at our restaurant. Betty is a James, our bar manager Olga is a James, and Burge is a James. He's Burge because his last name is Burgess. He missed out on a female nickname, but I'm not sure why. He has a son named (of all things) Detroit. The name is Burges' ex-partner's boyfriend's drag queen name, which, of course, seems reasonable (??). I reckon Burge is a bit bi- as although he has a partner of a year, he tends to be a bit of a ladies man as well. Of all of the people I've met in New Zealand, I've never had anyone speak to me as explicitly as he does, but I LOVE it. To be honest, it's very liberating to work in an environment where things like that are said and accepted, and it's all part of the fun. Burge is one of my favorites.
(photo: Burge giving me the bird)


Joe A.:
Sweet, short, bald, handsome, tattooed, and gay. We all know him as American Joe, but secretly is a New Zealand citizen with an American green card. His marm and pa are both lawyers, so Joe grew up a rich boy in a nice part of NYC and has been all over the world. He's a photographer by trade, and a brilliant one at that. I really enjoy Joe's company, and he is very, very intelligent. Recently, we went and saw Shrek 3 together, which was a blast. Afterwards, we went shopping together, and we saw some shirts at one of my favorite stores (female clothing stores, mind you), that we liked. So we both headed to the dressing room to try them on. The lady looked at us like we were CRAZY, but it was hilarious.
(photo: Joe and I trying on clothes at Supre)


Aroha:
What a doll Aroha is. Well, at least I think so.
At first I had a tough time getting to know her. Since then, though, I find that she's quite charming. Very smart, very talented, and a very good waitress, Aroha is the girl that everyone loves to hate. I have become quite fond of her, though, and here's why. No matter what people say to Aroha, to her face or behind her back, or no matter what people do, Aroha moves forward happily without being to bothered by it. I really respect that about her. She is picked on for the sake of being picked on, and she is disliked because it's easy to dislike her (and easy to follow the crowd). But really, she's lovely, and has become one of my favorite people at SP.
(photo: Aroha and Betty)


Nathan (Nay Nay):
Have I told you yet about Nathan? He IS SPQR. He is the local peformer, and we all love him for it. He is WILD. But not only is he a performer, but a great waiter too. He has drive and initiative, and one of the most outrageous mouths I've ever heard. Customers come just to be waited on by Nay, and he does them proud each time. Nay Nay is an SP god and legend, and always will be.
(photo: Nathan telling me hello)

Pene:
Pene is by far the most incredibly funny person I have ever met. I think his first language from birth was sarcasm. Blatent, crude sarcasm. He says THE MOST offensive things, and his humor and his wit are unmatche. I am usually in a FIT of laughs when he is near. He has a smart-ass comment about EVERYTHING. And it's usually derogatory...
Quotes from Pene:

"They're not people. They're Asians.' (describing the two new customers on table 12, to whom I was taking water and menus)

'That's what happens when you tickle a bottle of wine. Treat it like a lady and open it.' (when one of our bartenders broke the cork while trying to open a bottle of wine for a table).

'Someone put her next to the fireplace so her hair goes up in flames.'

'A table of Americans? It's an invasion! Wasn't Iraq enough?'

(in a text to me a few weeks ago) 'Don't go changing. you and your hilarious company are always welcome at my table. Just don't bring anyone ugly. xx'
(photo: coming soon)


Pete
Just an honest, hardworking guy. He's another manager, but is also a server too. He picked up the crap manager shifts when Andy and Burge didn't want them any more, but he's a real trooper about it. One of the nicest guys I know, he's easy to wokr with and get along with. I've always enjoyed Pete.
(photo: Aroha, myself, and Pete)


Boopsie
American, pretty, hispanic, very popular, quite loud, talks all the time, but a genuinely nice person with a great big heart. She gives Americans a good name. But back to her heart - she's been known to pick up strangers and take them places, she'll talk to anyone who will listen, and she always makes sure people feel welcome, no matter who they are and where they're from. We recently spent time together bowling, playing pool, and drinking beers over quiz night at the local pub. She and her Kiwi boyfriend Ollie are super cute. I reckon on sheer personality alone (her degree wouldn't even matter), Claudia will go far in life. Word... to yo' motha'.
(photo: Boopsie and I with our friends Brian and Adrian)



Olga:
Last but not least, there's Olga. She's another James, actually. She's an older, balder, bartender/manager/head person at SP. For the first two months, I thought we all called her Ogre. Luckily, the two sound similar enough that I don't think my mistake was ever noticed. I don't have a lot to say about Olga, she can be quite hard to get to know, and it takes awhile to get into her good graces. But, nearer to my time at the end, I felt like I reached this point, which was a relief. We have a standing agreement that this Thursday, when I come in for ONE final drink with all of my random friends, she'll play my favorite song for me on the way out the door. I can't wait...
(photo: Olga, Jeff, and Betty)

Lesson Number 1

'Ohayo' (o-hi-o) means 'good morning'.

'Ohayo goziamusu' (o-hi-o goya-zia-mus) means 'good morning' (formal).

'Konnichi wa' (koe-nee-chee-wa) means 'hello'.

'Konban wa' (kone-ban wah) means 'good evening'.

'Oyasami Nasai' (oh-yah-so-me nas-sie) means 'good night'.

'Watashi wa Kanada-jin de wa arimasen' means 'I am not Canadian' (dammit!)...

The Macarena

On May 4th, I woke up before school and realized that the next day was Cinco De Mayo. It popped into my head that on that day I should make simple pinatas with the kids, teach them some basic words in Spanish, and treat them to chips and salsa.

All were fine activities and went over great with the kiddos, but none went as smashingly as teaching the Macarena.

Now, it was my intention to only teach the dance to my little classroom of cherubs, but by some unforseen circumstances, I ended up teaching it to my whole ropu, all of the Kiwi kids aged 5-11.

It became an international sensation overnight. And by international sensation, I mean that the Kiwi kids were teaching it to the French, Maori, and Samoan kids the next Monday.

Now, the dance is done as many times as the kids can possibly scream for it, which is between 2 and 5 times a week. It's played every time the kids gather, which sends arms and bottoms shaking and flying in all directions.

It's an ABSOLUTE riot.

Even he parents join in when they come on Friday afternoons to pick up the kids.

The best part, though, is a mistake I made when teaching it...

If you know the dance, you know that it is a 16-beat dance that repeats over and over again. During the last four beats, the dancer has his/her hands on his/her bottom and shakes his/her bottom back and forth three times before jumping to the side and repeating the dance over and over again.

The mistake? I couldn't get the kids to shake their bottoms hard enough when they were supposed to, so while teaching, (and because I'm not shy), I would yell, 'SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT! JUMP!.' during those last four counts of the dance.

Now, whenever the kids do the dance, they all yell, 'SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT! OUUU!' during those four counts.

It's an ABSOLUTE riot. I have it on video and can't WAIT to show you all!

I reckon that someday, when I'm long gone, the children will say, 'Miss Wendy? Hmmmm. Oh yeah! She's the one who taught us the Macarena.'

(Secretly, I won't tell them that the song translates roughly into a story about a girl who is fairly promiscuous. That'll be between me and the teachers...)

Joe

This is Joe.

(Well, this is Joe and I playing waiter and waitress at SPQR about three weeks ago...)

Joe is tall and handsome (and straight). He has a beautiful smile and big blue eyes, and he looks great in skinny jeans. He's usually pretty kind and generous and could be trusted with your life. He has great taste in music and a really cool middle name.

Joe and I were just-friends for a long time. Probably since the day I started working with him at SPQR. And then, for one short time, Joe and I tried to be more-than-friends. It was great, and we had a damn good time of it. While it lasted...

Unfortunately, though, we turned into those people who fail at being more-than-friends-with-a-friend. Even more unfortunate (but probably foreseeable) is that we aren't really even just-friends any more.

Nevertheless, I have learned a few valuable lessons from Joe, which I am grateful for. In the end, I like to think what goes around comes around, and that giving to others is usually the right thing to do, even if giving, or giving up, isn't what you really want.

Although it's taken me more than a month to be able to write considerate things about him, Joe's contribution to my time in New Zealand makes him a worthy person to mention. Plus, I'm almost positive our paths will cross again soon. And secretly, I'll possibly, potentially, most likely look forward to it.

So that's Joe.

Sigh...

Richmond Road Primary School

Quite possibly one of the best and most unique school in the Southern Hemisphere.

But I might be a bit partial.

Richmond Road is unique in that it is made up of four different learning units (ropus). Each ropu teaches children in a different language, either French, Maori, Samoan, and English.

I remember coming to Richmond Road and at first being shocked that students were learning three days a week in Maori and Samoan and only two days a week in English. It was my (somewhat obtuse?) view that English should be the primary language taught in an English-speaking country, and that the ratio should be three days English and two days Maori or Samoan (French, I reckoned, is a more worldly language, and could be taught three days a week).

My views have changed.

For the most part, most students speak to each other in English at most times (with the exception of a few little Frenchies who don't speak any English). Useful for the playground especially, as every playtime is the whole school together. I soon realized that students are everyday getting so much exposure to English, that the more they speak in their native tongues the better off they'll be.

It truly is unique and amazing.

I have had the fortunate opportunity to teach in EVERY classroom in the school. My main classrooms are in the Kiwi Connection ropu, which are the English-speaking Kiwi/Euorpean kiddos. When I do go into the other ropus, I teach in English. Always.

It is a treat to teach in the Maori and Samoan ropus when the opportunity comes about. Both cultures are very tribe and family oriented, and each day begins and ends with prayers, with prayers before every meal as well. To hear the children pray and sing in another language is such a joy. It's one of my favorite parts of the day. In fact, when Salu calls to see if I can relieve in a Maori or Samoan classroom, the first thing I think is, 'Ooh! I get to hear prayers!' It's also fun to listen to the other teachers speak to the whole group or discipline a small group in Maori or Samoan. It's interesting to me to try to infer what they're saying based on the (VERY) few words I know. And as a future resident in a non-English speaking country, I better get used to this.

Each week the students have assemblies where rooms take turn sharing their work. Community singing and dancing follows, and there are quite often special treats such as tribal groups who come to perform. Last week, the French ambassador to New Zealand came. He was greeted in four languages, including a Maori call and answer greeting done by two of our Maori teachers. I had such goosebumps!

The kids have 20 minutes of morning tea/play time and an hour for lunch/play each day. All students play together, from year 1 to year 6. Sometimes teachers just don't show up for duty, and that's ok, because the kids are very self-reliant. There are very few issues to deal with. The kids play and work hard together, but the school keeps a very casual atmosphere that is calm and welcoming. A little disorganized, yes, but that itself has helped me grow a little as well.

In all my life, I'll never forget my time at Richmond Road. I have learned and experienced and seen so, so, so much.

David

My favorite recent story is a short but touching one that makes me smile on a lot of levels.

I have a little cherub, David, in my class.

When his moms (yes, moms) found out that I was leaving, they invited me to dinner. Having learned in New Zealand that you never say no to an offer like that, I of course accepted. David and his very successful moms have a full house which also includes two little girls, 3, and 6 months. Fiona, a pediatrician, and Brenda, a midwife, are both older and have been a couple for more than 10 years.

As I sat at David's dinner table with him, his two moms and his two sisters, eating roast chicken and vegetables, I had a fleeting moment where I stepped back to look at the picture I was a part of. I thought back to a time not so long ago when I thought seeing myself in that situation would be weird. Me, dining at a table with two lesbians and their three kids?

At that moment, though, it seemed natural and just right.

It was an incredible night of wine and good food, followed by tea and adult conversation. I even sat for a little while and watched Dancing With The Stars with Brenda (one her favorite shows), while Fiona cleaned up the kitchen.

I will never be able to thank David's family enough for dinner that night and their constant kindness each day at school.

But without them even knowing, I'll be eternally grateful for the opportunity they gave me to step back and realize how much my view of the world has changed. For the better.

Christian

Christian is my cute, gay, Danish friend. He's the one on the right (not to be mistaken for Betty the tranny on the left).

Spending time with him is and has been one of the greatest pleasures during my time here. I love him in a way I can't explain. In fact, you'll find that of all my friends, his blog entry is the shortest, as words can't really explain what he means to me.

He's one of my best girlfriends, if I do say so myself.

He is the one who drives the little red barbie car which, I won't lie, looks great when we're both in it together. We'd make a cute couple. Except for that he really isn't quite my type...

We have a lot in common. We both like to gossip and talk about clothes. We both have GREAT shoes. And we both have an knack for finding the best-looking guys in any room (Even more fun? Deciding who gets to hit on him!)

I recently won a trip to Hawke's Bay for myself and a friend. Naturally, Christian was my first choice. We spent the whole weekend drinking and laying around, discussing Harry Potter and The Devil Wears Prada. Our only complaint was that we didn't get to spend more time alone, but instead were with the wine rep, Misha, who is nice, but just not our type. Oh woe.

He really, really, really listens to me and my problems, when I have them. Unfortunately, I find that many people here just don't know how to listen, so he is a rare treasure for that. And because he's feminine (by choice) and masculine (by nature), he can give me the advice from both points of view (a fabulous perk when you need advice about men and stuff).

If you want some really good gossip, let it be known that in a few years, Christian and I have considered getting married. That way, he gets an American green card and I get a European green card. I mean, he figures that he'll never legally be able to wed anyway, so why not? I figure because it's a good story to tell, why not? And oh, and how cute our little surrogate children would be!

Thank you, Christian. In the words of Andy, you're aMAZEing...

My new job

Oh! You are all so smart and have so many good questions!

For those who have asked, thank you for wanting to take the time to find out more about what I'm going to be doing! I am so excited to share...

The school I'll be at, Nagoya International School, is the only English-speaking school in Nagoya, the third largest city (population: 3 million) in Japan. NIS is an American school with American curriculum. I'll be speaking and teaching in English, as most students are fluent English speakers. To speak, teach, or know Japanese will not be a requirement for this contract.

The compensation package they provide is one of the highest in international schools. Although I've only taught two full-time years, they are still starting me at Step 4 on the salary scale. Although there are taxes to pay, they are low, and after taking those, medical, retirement, pension, and utilities each month, I'll still gross more take-home salary per month than I made in Waukee. My (furnished) housing is also provided, as well as, $1000 to ship anything I want from the States, and a $1500 relocation grant to take care of any purchases I make during my first two months of settling in. My salary the second year will be higher than the first, and will rise subsequently, should I choose to stay longer. In Japan, I'll be a millionaire, as my salary in yen will be more than 4 million. Which is pretty cool.

My contract starts mid-August and lasts two years (yikes! I know!). The school pays to fly me out of Des Moines to Japan and back at the beginning and end of my contract, and a round-trip home once a year, at any time of my choosing. I get two months off in the summer, three weeks at Christmas, a week during the spring, and many three-day weekends.

I'll have full medical and dental, 100% coverage including all perscriptions. I receive 10 paid bereavement days and a full paid trip home in the case of a serious illness or death in the family. I have 5 paid personal days and 10 sick days through the year as well. A health club membership is included in my salary, and there's a golf course nearby.

I'll also be given $1000 for professional development, which I will probably use to take overseas Masters courses in either Child Development or Pediatrics (yes, doctor stuff!).

Although there's probably more, that's all I know for now. Either way, though, I'm pretty pumped for what lies ahead.

Lastly, here is the website for the school: http://www.nagoyais.jp/nis/

Thoughts from May

As the month wraps up, please enjoy some random thoughts.

I think it's really really cool that the toilets in this country NEVER clog. Not once, NEVER, have I seen a clogged loo. Ever.

When I come home I'm going to take a BATH. I'm tired of 3X3, square, roofless, glass showers.

A few weeks ago I put my hand through a glass window in my flat. The shocking thing was that while I bled all over the floor, I just stood there,, more upset that I just broke the window and would likely have to pay for it (sooooo poor right now). Sheena came in and said, 'Wenz! Go wash it!' Although I had 6 severe cuts on my hands and feet, this little accident wasn't enough to warrant a free trip for my parents to be with me in the hospital, courtesy of my travel insurance. But if it didn't hurt so much, I'd do it again and REALLY hurt myself so that they'd have an excuse to come.

If you want to order a Sprite in New Zealand, make sure you ask for a lemonade. If you want a lemonade, make sure you ask for a fresh lemon juice. Available at most international food courts and worth a trip.

I STILL think it's really gross that people walk in and out of stores without shoes on. Especially food stores or cafes.

I would die (just DIE) for a cup of powder, push button, instant coffee from a gas station. In a giant cup. Here, the coffee is fresh made everywhere (even gas stations), and comes in one size only: small. I still have to go to Starbucks to satisfy my large coffee requirements. Keep your small-sized coffees, you silly fools! I'm American! I want a big damn coffee!

Yesterday I made the mistake of wearing my American Cancer Society t-shirt, the Cheeseball Liverfanny one, to school on the day when I ran cross country with the kids. The mistake is that a fanny in New Zealand isn't a rear end. A fanny is the front side of the rear end. Apparently pretty inappropriate for a school setting.

Winter is settling in here. I have a heater in my room at night, but when I leave the comfort of 70 degrees each morning and walk into the hall in my flat, I can see my breath. I will appreciate central air/heat when I come home. For sure.

Two weeks ago I bought a bed (a real bed!). So I'm off the floor again. I had the GREATEST sleep in it the first night I had it. Always thought I had been fine on the floor (and I was), but am so glad I finally made the purchase. Except now I am leaving in 5 weeks and need to sell it again. Know anyone who needs a bed?

Welcome June, welcome cold, welcome my last month in New Zealand.

Sheena

Sheena Estelle Papuni, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways...

(it won't take long) ;)

Truly, though, I love Sheena.

Sheens is one of my closest buds, but we couldn't be more different if we wanted to.

She's 23, beautiful, looks amazing night and day with VERY little effort, and has an amazing (23-year old) body that is wonderfully complemented by a closet full of great, expensive clothes that she didn't pay a cent for (she gets $600 free each month as part of her manager contract at a local retail store).

It drives me crazy.

She loves drama, having drama, being dramatic, creating drama, which makes her a typical kiwi. Sometimes I think she has more problems than I have shoes (which is a lot).

It drives me crazy.

When she washes dishes she doesn't rinse them. Just sticks them from the soapy water right to the drying rack (I can hear your gasps of horror from home, really, I can).

She's an incredible dancer (the body and clothes help) and looks effortless doing moves that I (shocker...) look like a moron doing.

She won't be told to do anything by anybody, and if you ask her to turn the radio down, she'll turn it up.

It drives me CRAZY!

She is ABSOLUTELY the MOST unreliable person I have ever met. Her plans change from minute to minute, and I have come to learn to NEVER count on Sheen to do something with you unless it's spur-of-the-moment. Even if it's her idea, likely is that she'll be too tired or will 'hit a wall' before you can get there to do it.

As a person who likes to plan, this drives me crazy. Because we're such good friends, I know and expect and respect her for these choices. But it still drives me crazy.

And sometimes, she can be a real, grade-a bitch.

Which at the time, drives me the craziest.

But something that Sheens should be really proud of is her incredible confidence. Now, of course, she doesn't really count herself in as a confident person. But I see otherwise. She has a great sense of people and can speak to you as if she's lived ten wise lives. At bars, she loves to flirt and is good at it (confidence built on the fact that she never gets turned down. Ever.). Confidence above and beyond her 23 years, paired with a hot body and great hair makes for a big shadow to follow, no matter where we are(although I am learning to hold my own...).

She's pretty amazing, and it kinda drives me crazy.

But, she's helped me come out of my shell a little. I have learned to be more confident when going out. I buy more fun clothes and try to eat better (not because she convinces me to, but just so I can look good next to her in my bikini...). She'll be the one I get my third tattoo with, if we decided to do one before I go.

So, all and all, although she drives me crazy, my over-dramatic flattie is one of the greatest people I know.

I hope she's one of the five people I meet in heaven, cause that'll be a rockin' party.

I love you Sheens.

126 ova and out.

Lost in translation

Ah, texting. I sing it's praises time and time again. From being texted about relief work from my principal to my 'effing' dictionary, I can't speak enough about texting.

I've mentioned before that I never use the letter u to represent the word you, or the number 4 to represent the word for. I always, always, always make my sentences grammatically correct, with proper spelling and punctuation. The only thing I don't do is capital letters, same as many of my e-mails. A text from me would look like this:

hey nina! mareta and i are up for some wines at SPQR after school on friday and you're coming too! that way, we can all hang out, drink, and you can say that you've finally been!

But others aren't so keen to be correct with sentence structure or proper grammar. And sometimes, it's a real mission to figure out what they're saying. Take these actual texts, written exactly as I received them...

i sd it 2 him b4
----
Oh and whle i waz in telecm grabd a mag 4 u.
-----
no txtng babe felt strengthened n hotter by yr confirmation.Went out 4 drnks last nite bouncd out of bed bn 4 walk up th mauga n hvn chai latte up sym str lovit
-----
fank u xx
----
wot u up 2?
-----
haha whoop whoop im gd at livin rm with bellew watchn ruggas. wea u at america wat r ur coordinates ova.
----
sweet!thts us!
----
me comin in now. wana get a beer out front b4 shift?
----
Im so happy 4 u al!Wr al partying u go galfriend.Tim txt ths morn 2 wish gr8 time
----
Haha...gd nite watchn rugby...u stil at work? Buzi?
----

Child Endangerment Laws

I haven't written about school much lately, so I thought I was due. I reckoned it'd be interesting to speak about the child endangerment laws. Or the lack thereof, I guess. It's much different than America...

1. Last Thursday I was at school and it was my turn for lunch duty (which I have every Thursday). Two children had launched a paper airplane (this term's unit is flight) onto the sails that cover part of the playground. To try to retrieve the airplane, they were throwing shoes up at it in an effort to bounce it off. I allowed this, as I found it to be an inventive, creative way to get the item. As would be expected, though, a shoe ended up on the roof of the school. It was near the end of duty time, so I told the kids to go get Tu (the groundskeeper) and ask him to get it off the roof. I then went in the building go ring the bell, signaling the end of play.

When I came back, the ladder had been put next to the building and unattended children were climbing it, trying to get to the roof. Tu hadn't stayed to help, no teachers were present, just children climbing a ladder to try to get to the roof. I immediately went over to, a) take over the situation because the kids were too short to get to the roof, and b) take over the situation because really, were these kids climbing on to the roof without supervision?

I got on the roof and got the shoe, but got stuck (laughable, right?). So I asked Suzie Jo, a middle school teacher, to come help me get my feet back on the ladder. Once I was down, she said to me (in almost a scold), 'Next time, don't climb on the roof. One of the kids will do it.'

I'm sorry. What?

2. The following day there was a union meeting for all the teachers at school. The union meeting took place during the day, so after lunch, all the teachers left to go to the meeting, leaving a skeleton crew of 3 non-union teachers and 2 relievers (including me). Earlier that week the students had taken home a notice letting parents know that there would be a union meeting, and it was encouraged that parents find alternative care for their children for the afternoon of the union meeting. Being the good Ponsonby families they are, most kids were picked up at noon.

The interesting thing, though, is that no child signed out. The parents just rocked up and grabbed their kiddos. No telling teachers, no telling the office, just up and gone. Hayley my principal, was actually walking by me when a parent approached her and said, 'Do we need to sign them out?' to which she replied, 'Nope, they can just go. See you tomorrow.'

I'm sorry. What?

Also...

Kids aren't required to wear shoes. Anywhere.

The schools have no fences around them. Strangers can rock in and out at will, if wanted. Side doors (unwatched by office persons) are unlocked. Again, just come in and out if you want to, guys.

I'm allowed to touch children (gasp!)!

I never wear gloves when touching blood or (yes, I've had to) urine.

But, at the same time, kids are happy here. They are (for the most part) respectful and mature. They feel safe. The lack of fences has never caused a kiddo to go missing, through his own will or the will of another.

So although the practices still sometimes shock me, they sure are working.

(the picture is Hugo, one of my little cuties...)

日本

いとしい家族と友達　

私がちょうど日本の名古屋インターナショナル学校のポジションを受け入れた時であるあなたの全てが非常にすぐに日本で私を訪問しに来ることを考えること望む

恋人〔愛〕

(ウェンディ)

----------

ok, so I don't actually know all those little lines and stuff mean, but it's SUPPOSED to say:

Dear family and friends,

I hope you will all come and visit me soon in Japan, as I have just accepted a position at Nagoya International School.

Love,

Wendy

Betty

Betty Boombox, some call her.

Her real name is James.

She's a tranny, which is slang for transvestite. This means that he is a she is a he is a she.

Still with me?

Betty is a bartender at SPQR. She is very (and I mean VERY) cool.

It's no lie that I was initially shocked when meeting Betty. I guess this little girl from the Midwest wasn't ready for that kind of person. And I remember trying to not to picture the logistics of he is a she is a he in a visual way.

In reality, though, Betty is one of the kindest, most amazing souls I have ever met.

To be a tranny takes a lot of work. It's not just chop here and fold there. It's years of therapy, hormones, and for some, a loss of identity. Betty's takes a cocktail of pills each day. Depression pills to counter the effect of the pills that fight the testosterone and the pills for extra estrogen, pills for this, pills for that. I've seen them, man, and there's a lot.

Betty's house is nicknamed the Tranny Wonderland. It's a fifth-floor, downtown, high-rise apartment, and it's beautiful. It's full of Maori treasures from her ancestors, pictures of friends, and a huge, huge model train set. One night, in the funniest story I'll ever tell, I had a few too many with Betty and Nay Nay (who also lives there) and ended up making a last-minute decision to stay the night. I slept in Betty's bed (she insisted on sleeping on the couch), wore Betty's robe, and (gasp) even borrowed a pair of (brand-new) underwear that she had in her drawer. She had a riot telling everyone at work that we shared panties.

Oh, Betty.

But the most special thing about Betty was her recent gift to me. Pounamu, or Maori greenstone, is a gift that can only be bestowed on you (you can't buy it for yourself). It's a great honor to receive it from another person. My person was Betty.

I love Betty's beauty, inside and out, and my wish for her is to always be as happy as she makes others feel.

(good on ya, girl...)

11.5

(Instead of a card, my grandpa sent the following message this morning. I think he's quite clever, I especially like #7...).
-----
Happy Birthday!!!!!

Since I didn't get a card sent, I am going to make you a list. It is a list of the...

10 reasons we are happy Wendy is 26!

She's old enough to vote (but only if she comes back to her own country to do it).

She's old enough to drink (as long as she can recognize the difference between a straight and a gay bar)!!!! Sorry.

She's old enough to drive. (But can she re-learn to sit on the correct side of the car to steer - and refrain from "driving" while
on the right hand Passenger seat when she returns to the US?)

According to the old saying, "She's old enough to know better" but also knows better than to resist the great things in life such as chocolate and other sticky-gooey foods.

She's old enough to be on her own (a wonderful thing for parents in terms of money and the worst thing for parents in all other ways).

She's old enough to not wet or dirty her diapers (but do realize that may return someday - just with a new name)!!!

She's old enough to make her own decisions. (Yes, Dear, we know you have been doing that for 25-plus years - just not realizing you were not old enough to do it.)

It just adds one more year of things she does of which we are proud.

She's old enough to realize how much all of us love her!!!!

And, she's old enough to know we mean it when we say, "Have a really happy birthday and many, many more!!!!!"

I love you, Wendy

Grandpa D and Marvel

Three Simple Rules

When I was teaching at Waukee Elementary, my students once had an Earth Day activity to complete independently at station time. The job was to color and cut out a picture of the world, glue it to a second sheet, and write three things one could do to keep the earth beautiful.

One of my little cherubs, Jacob, hit the nail right on the head. In fact, he did such an amazing job on this project that I kept his work, framed it, and have it now hanging in my room. It's even one of the 4 prized possessions I would grab and take with me if the house was on fire...

Jacob's three simple rules for keeping Earth beautiful?

1. Help pick up trash.

2. Always keep it clean.

3. Make love and good friends.

Yup. That'll about do it, buddy.

Lessons Learned

By Wendy.

In a week I will transition from my early twenties to my late twenties.

Sigh.

The lessons I've learned since my last birthday are many. I could write a book, but that'd be boring. Instead, I'll just share a few...

I've learned that no matter where you go, there you are. You won't be different, but you will change.

I've learned that loss hurts. A lot.

I've learned that when things aren't going your way, it's o.k to ride the waves. Good days can be good, bad days can be bad. And whether it's a day, a week, or a month, this too shall pass.

I've learned that the best cure for a hangover is a trip to the toilet and a mince and cheese pie (though not at the same time). In fact, I look forward to the mince and cheese pie after a night of drinks. It's like a guilty indulgence.

I've learned that some nights, no matter how tired you are, you just don't sleep.

I've learned that it's o.k. to accept those nights.

I've learned that insecurities are a part of each and every one of us. They make up a big part of who we are.

I've learned to learn from every mistake I make.

I've learned firsthand that tattoos are cool, but that they hurt. A lot.

I've unfortunately learned that in general, most Americans typify why people hate Americans.

I've learned not to be one of those Americans.

I've learned that sometimes you have to be a better friend to others than they are to you, and although sometimes they make it hard, I've learned to treat others the way I want to be treated for that exact reason.

I've learned that I won't always get what I want.

I am learning to accept that I won't always get what I want.

I've learned that if you love something enough, you sometimes have to let it go. And if it comes back to you, it's o.k. to tell it to sod off.

I've learned that working hard for something, and I mean really, really hard, is worth it.

I think I've learned that being indecisive can be a good character trait sometimes.

I've learned to live my life to the fullest. I refuse to settle for mediocrity, and I hope my passion and zest for making the most of my life is contagious.

I've learned that living is easy with eyes closed.

I've learned to never say no to a friend.

I've learned that patience is a virtue (that I still don't possess).

I've learned that the time to be happy is now.

Lastly, I've learned that the most important thing I can do for the world is to be selfless. Good deeds done each day - giving your time and expecting nothing in return, smiling, being a role model, doing no wrong by others - truly work miracles. If everyone could do it, the world would be a better place. And since I know that it's not easy for everyone, I'll do my best to overcompensate by constantly being a better and better person each day.

Until next year... the end.

Doug

In honor of his birthday week, let me speak about my brownest flatmate, Doug.

When Joy moved out, Doug moved in. Julia didn't ask us if that was ok, she just made the executive decision on her own.

Unfortunately for her, we lucked out... she picked a good one.

Doug jokingly calls himself Duggie Damage, although I think Duggie Dreamer would be a better choice. The kid loves to have lots of things and has big dreams. He is one of the nicest, nicest guy I know, and one of the best flatmates I've ever had.

Doug has his own personal training business called Hot Body Fast. During the day he works for Trelise Cooper, the premier fashion designer in New Zealand. He gets to work with super cool people, and gets a few good perks for being a great employee (a few cool gears now and then).

But the best thing about Doug is his kind personality (most of the time). Doug likes to be seen with cool and beautiful people, and manages to do so very well by having a great positive outlook on life. He treats people well, and thinks of others. He has a great aura, and will be successful in whatever he does.

Doug Fresh... This shout out is for you.

Korea

(my mom loves this story...)

Oscar Wilde once said, "We [England] have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language."

Quotes like this are evident in everyday conversation for me.

Kids at school have a riot when I say 'awesome!'

At work, I've had to learn to say filet with a 't' sound on the end.

And I will never, ever call the kitchen counter the bench.

Consider the following conversation I had with my flattie Doug about three weeks ago. Although it was more of an accent issue, the humor of communication between myself and my flatties is always a source of laughter.

----

'Zzzzzzzzz,' (me sleeping one morning).

Knock, knock. (Doug at my door).

'Huuuuuuh,' I said, sleepily.

'You've got a package from Korea,' Doug said.

'Huh?' i say again.

'A package. From Korea.'

(getting up, opening door, answering tiredly) 'Who do I know in Korea?'

'No,' Doug says, 'A package from the Korea. You know. The mail
guy.'

'Oh! the courier!'

'Yah! that's what I said!'

(uh, no it's not, and frankly, sometimes I think you might as well be speaking in Korean...)

SPQR

Aunt Barb calls it 'the alphabet place.'

Nik once called it 'QSP'.

Mom just says 'the restaurant' (but is getting better).

Tera was the only one who said 'I know what that means!' (clever girl...).

I've decided it's time to offer you all a little free knowledge (because that's what teachers do, right?).

AND, from now on, when people in the restaurant ask what SPQR means, I am just going to send them here to my blog. Because since I talk so fast, they usually don't understand me anyway.

So now, with no further delay, please allow me to present you with today's (very brief) history lesson.

---

SPQR stands for Senatus Populusque Romanus. which translates into 'The Senate and the people of Rome.' It refers to the government of the ancient Roman Republic and the emperors, who considered themselves representatives of the people (even though the senate and most of the laws were made of the emperor's will).

When people at work ask, I pretend to get real excited and say 'Oh! I love that question.' and I then proceed to bore them with the ancient historical context of Rome, ending with this: 'SOOO, it basically means that the senate and the people worked together for the good of all of Rome.'

In Rome today, many public features, such as manhole covers, columns, and cement grates, still say SPQR on them.

For a recent connection, in the movie Gladiator, SPQR is the tattoo that you see Russell Crowe knifing off of his arm.

For a more detailed explanation, including the historical context and modern variants, please refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SPQR, which is where I thieved the information for this short history lesson.

For a more detailed look at my restaurant, please refer to http://www.spqrnz.co.nz. The pictures are quite nice...

My Dictionary

In this country people love to text. Love to love to love to text.

When I ordered my mobile, I did not get a plan. instead, I pre-pay each week for credit for my phone. It's quite costly. I spend about $20 a week for the credit to be able to text and text and text my friends what could easily be said in 30 seconds of conversation.

Weekly, I use at least 98%, if not 100% of my credit on texts. I NEVER call.

When I got my new phone last month (the first was accidentally dropped in a glass of wine - oops!), I was relieved that the text feature was considerably faster than on my previous (dinosaur, cheapy model) phone. I was really excited.

I never, ever, ever use substitutes for words. I don't say 2 for to, or 4 for for, I don't write 2nite or gr8. Maybe that goes with being a primary grade school teacher...

But, to make texting easier, I use the T9 predictive text function. This function allows me to bring up words by typing each letter key once. The phone knows what word I am trying to use based on the letter combinations possible. For example, if I type 66, it comes up with on. If I want the word no, I just down scroll to the next word in the phone's dictionary.

As you can imagine, though, the phone doesn't necessarily recognize all of the words I want to use. Luckily, this phone comes with a feature called 'my dictionary,' where I can input my own personal words that the phone will remember when I want to use them again and again. This morning, as I was texting away, adding and using words from my dictionary, I thought it would be fun to share the list of words that most mobile phones don't come equipped with.

Because I have never been one to watch my language, please steer small children away from this list, as it does contain words not suitable for those under 18. I'll use discretion when possible...

My Dictionary (in the order in which each word was added):

flatties
flatty
Tessa
Garyls
didja (as in 'didja get my last text?')
ruggers (as in rugby, 'didja wanna catch the ruggers game tonight?)
dahling (the gay way to say darling)
NZ
marm (what I call my mum)
rex (my friend from New York)
Pons (for Ponsonby, because really, I can't be bothered to type it out)
effing (as the polite way to say f***ing)
yummy
arvo (afternoon)
bitch (not sure why this wasn't in the dictionary)
xxx (kisses)
occam (the local cafe on the corner)
FAVE (as in 'occam is my FAVE cafe!')
f**k (without the stars, when I don't feel polite enough to write effing)
ponsonby (for when I'm not feeling so lazy to type pons only)
chow (as in 'wanna go get some chow at Occam?')
aahhhh (as in 'it's bedtime, aahhhh')
bummer
heya
p*ss (without the star)
SPQR
wf (my sign-off)
Aroha (a girl I work with who is the constant subject of texts at work)
lippy (lip gloss)
sushi
wendy
muah (my friend Tera's way of kissing)
awww (as in 'awww, that's so nice')
tahi (a friend)
nina (a friend)
yikes
luff (another word for love, as in 'good morning luff!')
smartass
fellas
como (spanish for what)
hola (spanish for hello)
whitcoull,s (the local bookstore, as in 'wanna meet at whitcoull's in ten?)
cuppa (as in coffee, 'wanna meet for a cuppa at whitcoull's in ten?')
duh

Tessa

When I think about Tess and I being friends, I smile.

Because really, what is the chance that I would walk into a local food store in Auckland, New Zealand and find someone from the same state as I am? In my eight months here, I can say I've only done that once.

What are the chances?

Believe me, I've gone over the absurdity of it. If she wouldn't have been in the store at that moment with that (Grinnell Softball) t-shirt on, I would have passed her with no second thought. And to this day, I have never, ever run into Tessa at the store again. Wearing an Iowa shirt OR normal clothes.

She would have gone on living three blocks away, unbeknownst to me.

But luckily, I did run into her and we're now great friends. We get together for coffee, smoothies, sushi, or shopping a few times a week. We always have lots to talk about, and we go on, blah, blah. The humor of two Americans, sitting oblivious to the rest of the world (which is how we are when we get to talking), is pretty funny if you think of it.

Tessa lives with and loves her boyfriend George. They met last time she was here doing her outternship (evidently like an internship, but opposite) for culinary school. She cooked at the same restaurant that he was a waiter at. They dated very casually at first, and then realized that they really liked each other. But, when Tess left to go back to the States, she left George here.

After finishing culinary school, she decided to return, pursuing and securing a position at the Auckland Hilton. That's how she ended up back here, with George, and at my Foodtown (or was I at HER Foodtown?)

Although Tess and I are very different (she likes to work out, I've become allergic to exercise; she knows what all foods are, I thought a lentil was a 40 day religious fasting period) it's still super great to have someone with whom you can talk about home (and even though she doesn't know who the Nadas are, I've forgiven her). In fact, we agree on the following things:

We can't stand how unreliable kiwis are.
We agree that Girl Scout cookies kick Girl Guide cookie ass.
We think nothing beats a morning cup of tea at a local cafe.
We both think tennis shoes here cost WAY too much.
We can't stand the lack of choice at the supermarket.
We both think that soya is a dumb name for soy.

She'll also be with my when I get my next tattoo. Very soon.

Lucky me for wandering into Foodtown on that warm November night.

Option C

Been very, very busy.

Lots lately to occupy my time.

But have been thinking about option c, if a and b don't work...

If no teaching job, I might travel for a bit in a foriegn land before coming home. Maybe Asia or South America.

Does anyone want to come with?