Friday, September 26, 2008

Oh, What a Night

It was nothing like the song, or even remotely close to it, but it was a good time.

This morning, though, I woke to find the most odd thing on my kitchen table: a dried pig's leg. A REAL dried pig's leg. Among the other things that were laying on my table, such as my purse, a pen, my inhaler, and the cookies I baked yesterday afternoon.

I vaguely remember that the pig's leg ACTUALLY belonged on the wall of the bathroom of the bar I was at last night. But then this morning, it was instead on my table. My kitchen table. Which means I had to have somehow carried it home, among my purse and other things, to my house, where I put it on my table before crawling into bed. Again, I think this must have been a lot funnier last night.

This is how I THINK the night went (which is prefaced with some history that is important for you to know in able to understand the story best):

My friend, Lucille, the music teacher, invited me to join her for a night of jazz music by our favorite local pianist, Donny, who plays at the most amazing little club called Caballero. We had visited the club once last year, a night that encouraged us to come again, many times. Club Caballero boasts some of the most incredible decorations I have ever seen, with it's crowning achievement being the bathroom, one of the most magnificent rooms I have ever been. The owner, Boss (or Boss-san, to be polite), used to be a pretty huge jazz bassist in his day, and is now running one of the hippest joints around (for more on Club Caballero, click here). That first time, Lucille met a budding pianist, Eri, whom she convinced to become her pianist for all of our NIS concerts. Since that time, they have become good friends.

Back to last night, when Lucille and I daringly decide to invite copious amounts of gaijin (foreign) friends to infiltrate this bar. We were warmly welcomed by Donny, and the crew, who served us well with wine and music. One of the (many) highlights of the night: Donny playing 'Georgia on My Mind'. An old Georgia boy himself, Donny promised to play this song each night for his mother (or some good story like that). When minutes earlier, the whole bar had been talking over the music, at this point, we all sat silently. Even my Canadian friends were mute.

After the song, during the solemnity of the after-song moment, and being the comedian that I am, I requested Donny to play a song about Iowa. Of course, he had no song, but it sent me, Eri, and many others into a winded conversation about the cornfields and hog cribs of Iowa.

This led to Eri deciding to ask Boss if she could have one of the many dried pig's legs from the bathroom. He was happy to oblige, and without my knowing, a plan went into the works to present me with this kingly gift. So, as I am conversing during the break between sets, Boss delivered the pig's leg with a rousing speech, which, of course, was slightly embarrassing.

As the night got later, we realized we soon needed to leave to catch the last trains home (the second, which we missed, by the way, led to a very expensive cab ride home). So after the last song, we headed out to the station, I with a pig's leg in my hand. Once on the train, and no longer with a moral compass of what was right or wrong, we went into hysterics over the whole thing. Mike, who is one of the nicest guys I know, decided to slip his arm out of his sleeve, and replace it with the pig foot. He then proceeded to do a dialogue with the other passengers while we all laughed hysterically. One of his 'skits': putting his train ticket within the hoof toes and asking 'Excuse me, does this train go to Ozone?' Needless to say, it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. For all the money in the world, I wanted to attach the video, but my computer just wouldn't do it. Gosh, it was funny.

To end the story, I am now the (proud?) owner of a preserved, dead, fleshy pig's foot. A pig's foot, that for the memories, I will never be able to remove myself of. Plus, I wouldn't know which trash to put it in anyway...


mary said...

that sounds not only incredibly funny, but also incredibly disgusting!

Jerry said...

are you sure it wasn't sake bombs and not wine you were drinking?

Anonymous said...

OMG! This is hilarious. Sounds like ya'll had quite the night!