Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Going to HELL...

HELL pizza, that is.

It's my favorite, favorite, favorite-ist pizza in the whole wide world.

Catchy name, huh??

One of the best parts is that it's really fun to speak with your mates and say things like this:
"Wanna go to HELL?"
or
"You're going to HELL? Yeah, I'll pitch in on that one."

Plus, the ingredients are super great. They mix very interesting stuff together to make it taste really good.

The names of the pizzas are very demonic. Some of them include Gluttony, Wrath, Underworld, Damned, and Morbid. It's really fun to order ('Yes, I'll have a Damned pizza with extra tomatoes, please.').

Now, I bet you can imagine that this pizza company is very popular, right? And I bet you can imagine that they are a little on the edge, and not afraid of crossing the line, right? And I even bet that you know there's a really good story coming about it, right?

(It's a REALLY good story. It goes like this:)

One day, Mary and I were walking home to my house for some relaxing after a day out seeing some sights. Like usual, I grabbed the mail from the letterbox. At the bottom of the letterbox was a small, perfectly square package with HELL advertising on it. It was a bit thick, having something inside of it. It was laying with the back side up, and we could see instantly that it was HELL's advert for their new pizza named Lust.

Mary said, "Look, matches!'

As soon as I picked up the package, we realized instantly that it wasn't matches.

Instead, wrapped perfectly in a little black advertising sleeve, was a condom, which included explicit instructions on use.

(Now don't fool yourself. I mean, who doesn't associate condoms and pizza together, being the same shape and all...)

And honestly, with a name like Lust, Mary and I decided that the condom was a very clever promotional idea.

But not everyone agreed.

You see, HELL pizza made the mistake of handing out the condoms to people's mailboxes on 30 October. The day before Halloween. Which wouldn't have really seemed TOO big a deal, except that many kids who went out to get the mail that day might have noticed the small, shiny package that looked like it could have contained a lolly (but upon opening it found that it wasn't).

Moms and dads were real mad. It was on the news and everything.

I still think it was pretty clever.

2 comments:

JenFarrell said...

Wendy, Wendy, Wendy. Can this pizza really be better than OP Pizza? Come on, relive college a little!!

Actually, your story reminds we of a "pick up" line Jon Crees used to use -- "wanna get a pizza and fuck?" My answer -- NO. His question question "What, you don't like pizza?" Ha ha ha. Inappropriate, I know.

Anonymous said...

Hey hon!! so glad u sent this to me so i can catch up on your adventures as time allows!! can u send me your address at home, i left it at school... thanks!! love u!!
liseischeid@prairie inet.net