watashi wa nihongo ga daikirai desu

I can't tell you what that means until you read all the way through...

----

Tonight I walked out of my Japanese class, in tears, only 10 minutes after it had started. There are many, many reasons, but the top being the difficulty of understanding this dumb, dumb language.

Let me show you what I mean...

Sentence #1:

Isogashii desu kara, doko mo ikimasen.

This translates to 'Because it was busy, I did not go.'

Ok. Fine. I get it. Except that:

isogashii = busy
desu = is
kara* = because
doko = there
mo* = did not
ikimasen = did not go

Put it together, and that sentence literally reads:
'Busy is because there I did not did not go.'

* 'mo' can also mean 'already'
* 'kara' can also mean 'from'

-----

Sentence #2
(this one was a true/false comprehension question from one of my homework problems, which involved answering questions about the content of an interview)

Masuya san no okusan wa ryori ga amari jozu arimasen.

This translates to: His wife does not cook well.

Masuya = a person's name
no = the word used to show possession
okusan = wife
(Masuya san no okusan = Masuya's wife)
ryori = a dish/cooking
amari = not so
jozu - good at
ja arimasen = is not

Literal translation: Masuya's wife cooking but not so good at is not.

I was sure to ask my Japanese teacher why we use 'amari', which, when translated English, makes the sentence a double negative when used along with 'ja arimasen'. She said that in Japan, it is not polite to say that someone is not good at something, so you say that they are not so not good at something. That means more words with double meanings to remember. And the order of the words? Seriously.

Do we live on the same planet as these people?

But, I've played my own little joke. Now I've gotten them back with the title of this blog, which I have worded to say exactly what I mean, without caring if it is polite or not. It's the truth.

I hate Japanese.

;(

Thank you!

From Miss F. and her kids....

After a final surge of piled-up, weekend mail, our goal was met. Although today was the 103rd day of school, we have finally, officially passed our target, with no end of the delivery of more postcards in sight anytime soon.

In fact, at this rate, we'll have 180 postcards by the 180th day of school.

To all who helped out, thank you so much! It was a great project, for me AND the kids.

:)

Cool Guy

My friend Christian is recently the coolest guy I know.

Why?

Last week, at the Big Gay Out event in Auckland, he and his partner Daniel had their pictures taken with Helen Clark, the prime minister of New Zealand. Fortunately for me, I was granted exclusive rights to this picture by Mr. Brondum (Christian) himself.

So, by default, he is officially the coolest person I know today.

Pee-u

Japanese office buildings smell like old people.

Super Quick

A super quick update:

**Please look for an upcoming blog about our postcard project, which was a smashing success. Tomorrow is the 100th day of school, and after receiving 43 postcards today, on day 99 (to add to the 21 we had received last week), we are sure to have 100 by our deadline. Not bad for such late notice...

**My parents have purchased tickets for a trip to Japan this summer, which is very exciting. I have now made it my personal mission to locate and map every western-style toilet that we'll pass during the entire holiday.

**My Aunt Barb told me that she wouldn't take me shopping when I came home unless I finally told everyone that, after the horror and nightmares, I DID actually pass my driver's test on the first try. All four of us did, which was a first for the resource company who helped us out. But hey, what did you expect?

:)wf

Kit Kat Party

When I come back to America in March, I am going to have a Kit Kat party.

If you want to come, you can!
I'll be bringing all sorts of exotic flavors of your favorite Kit-Kat candy. I'm going to present a taste platter that rivals the selection at the finest restaurants, flavors that you cannot find in America.

You'll have a great selection!

Each time I go to a new corner store or grocery chain, I find a new flavor. This past week, I found 5 new ones!

You'll be able to choose from popular fruit flavors such as apple Kit Kat, strawberry Kit Kat, grape Kit Kat, orange Kit Kat, and honeydew Kit Kat (the one that I just don't know why they aren't making in America...).

But, that's not all! There's also vanilla bean Kit Kat, hazelnut Kit Kat, midnight chocolate Kit Kat, matcha (green tea) Kit Kat, caramel Kit Kat, cookies 'n' cream Kit Kat, and cherry blossom Kit Kat.

I'm not going to hold my breath that those are the only flavors. I am sure there'll be more.

I bet you can't wait! I'm really having to hold myself from opening the packages and trying all of these AMAZING flavors... ;)

Dear Mom,

Help! I'm turning into you!

I told you that I am tirelessly playing mommy to a family of 4, right? Well, that gig thankfully runs out on Sunday night. I am off all day on Monday, and wholly plan on spending it in retail therapy, shopping my arse off, trying to rid myself of the smell of children who aren't mine.

This experience, however, has not lacked its share of interesting experiences, both humbling and amusing, one of which I especially want to share with you...

This past week, on the way to school, the children were warily riding along in the car on the way to school. In Nagoya, there is only one station that plays non-Japanese music, and, out of lack of options, we had it on. To the kids' dismay, this station is known for playing more 'retro' music, and obviously isn't their favorite, but beats the option of alternative Japanese jibberish.

My mom moment?

It happened before I could even stop myself...

It started that same morning, when I heard the familiar voice of Phil Collins. I was singing along to the words, and I had just begun to say, 'Ooh! I love this so--,' when I noticed that all 4 kids were staring at me like I was an alien.

I guess they aren't Genesis fans.

And then, at that moment, I felt like you, who used to get the alien look from me when really dumb songs from the 70's would come on in the car.

Now, Mother, I humbly bow down and apologize to you.

And I guess, while I am at it, thank you for always cooking my meals. Even the ones I didn't like. I am sorry I probably never said thank you. Except for taco casserole, the mere mention of which will still get you the alien look...

;)

Help us out!

Hello all!

I am looking for your quick help for a project I'd like to do with my kiddos...

Taking an idea from some fabulous teachers in Iowa, my class of students and I are trying to collect 100 postcards, from around the world, to celebrate the 100th day of school.

My kiddos have all taken notes home with them this weekend, and will start asking family and friends as well, but since I have so many great family, friends, former students, co-workers, and so on, I wanted to ask all of you too!

So... please help us out!?!

We would love a postcard from you, from wherever, and from any of your friends (so pass it on!) to be sent to us! But you'll have to act fast, as the 100th day of school is rapidly approaching (February 12!). The postal service is quite fast here, and if the postcard is in the mail by next Thursday (the 7th) at the latest, there should be no problem getting it on time.

Here is the address:

Miss F. and 2B
Nagoya International School
2686 Minimihara
Nakishidami
Moriyama-ku
Nagoya
Japan
463-0002

Again, pass it on, spread the word, and we'll see just how many people, from all over the world, we really know! And, chances are, we can sing your national anthem too...

Thank you!
:)Wendy

I swear...

...all the time!

(parental caution on this one, folks - PLEASE do not read any further if you are a young child or one of my grandparents!!)

Swearing.

It's one of my FAVORITE things to do in Japan!

Why?

Because no one knows what the bloody hell I am saying! Ever!

My favorite line, as I'm fleeing down the slopes, out of control?

'Out of the way, b#%@*es!'

We all do, it, though. Because we can, we drop f- and s- bombs ALL the time. And to be honest, when you're living here, it's nice to have a bit of freedom in your words, something you can have a laugh about with your friends, while not actually offending others.

I only mention this because yesterday, I was pleased to find out it's not just me. Justin and Kerianne are the same (no, Mom, it's not JUST me, I promise!). They have come to affectionately refer to their car as D.M.F., where the first word is 'Dozo' which means 'Please' in Japanese. Sometimes, for fun, we say it (the name of the car) under our breath to people as we hold doors open. A favorite target? The elderly, who just bow, smile and say thank you.

You're welcome, b$%&#es.

The drive.... (part 3)

(please access parts one and two of this fabulous and nail-biting adventure before reading below...)

Day 3

With sick stomachs, swollen eyes, and weary heads, we four headed once again, for the third time in a week, to the driver's licensing station.

Kerianne and I prayed for course B. Todd and Justin, both male, and in the lead for passing, didn't care either way. Todd, the zen master, was bound to score due to his calm nature, impressive demeanor, and fluent Japanese tongue. Justin, who is a master of all trades, was bound to pass just because he is Justin. Kerianne, who was reduced to tears during practice runs, and myself, who heard nary an encouraging word about my excellent driving skills, knew we were doomed. But course B it was for us four.

Zen-master Todd agreed to go first, which was probably a bad idea for the rest of us. He smoothly finessed the course with ease, and as the Japanese instructor debriefed to our translator after his run, he secretly translated himself, and informed us that the instructor had paid him a complement, a rare, rare occurence in Japan. If only one of us was going to pass today, we had decided it was going to be Todd.

Kerianne, nervous-as, but confident, went as well. Although a bit slow, she did very well, and in the debriefing, the translator, whom Kerianne was fortunate enough to have had the night before, informed the Japanese instructor that the previous night's practice instructor had been impressed with her driving skills. One point for Kerianne.

Justin just did it. That was all there was. He just did it.

Now as for me, I myself am not a zen-master, nor did I have the confidence of Justin, or the kind words from any translator (and even if he had been there, he still would have found some way to put me down!) that Kerianne had. I knew, that of all four of us, I would be the only one to fail...

One thing I did well? I remembered the EXACT order of operation upon entry of the car (and if you think I'm joking about exact, I am not:

lock the door,
adjust your seat,
adjust the mirror with your LEFT HAND ONLY,
fasten seatbelt,
footbrake,
turn on car,
shift into drive,
release emergency brake,
indicator,
look left, right, left,
and
pull out, parallel, while missing the curb.

Although my driving was ok, I did miss an indicator during one turn, and forgot to check for bikers two times. I just knew I was doomed. The wait time between test and results was torture - three hours to wait, wondering, just to find out, as I was sure, that I had failed.

(is this dramatic enough for you yet??!)

The drive.... (part 2)

(please refer to part one of this trilogy before reading below)

Day 2

The theory of the driving test in Japan is much like it is like really LIVING in Japan. You don't do things the way you have done or know is right, but instead, you do it just like they tell you, whether you agree or not. And if you don't agree, you fail.

We showed up a week later for the mandatory $70 practice tests, where we got to get in the car with a Japanese driving instructor, and a gaijin (foreign) translator. Luckily for me (as has been my luck all week), I got to ride with the dopey gaijin, the only male, who, unfortunately, didn't have a kind or encouraging word for me all night. It obviously was very helpful on my self-esteem and confidence for the real test...

The driver's course consists of two routes. You have to memorize and perfect both, as you are told 30 minutes before the real test which one you'll be driving.

The first instructor told my gaijin that I was driving so fast (yes, I know, Mom, it is hard to picture) that he 'was sweating like a pig.' Really, guys, I was CONVINCED I was crawling at snail pace.

The second instructor had no issues at all and I did well. Shocker that my gaijin still had nothing nice to say. At all.

On the way home, my friendies and I went over and over the courses in preparation for the next day's test. We talked and talked and talked and talked until we were blue in the face, and although it might not seem like a big deal, it really, really was. Failing meant humiliation, failure, more costs, days off schools, sub plans to be made, appointments for practices and tests, and more paperwork.

To give you an idea of how traumatic this all was, let me top all of that off with some rumored facts, that were shared with us by coworkers during the weeks leading up to the test:

Only 1 out of every 5 people passes.

Low-cut shirts won't help.

If you bump a curb, you fail.

Our school's average pass rate is 3 tries.

Women don't pass.

Men don't pass.

Old people don't pass.

If you're too young you won't pass.

You won't pass.

Needless to say, when I got home, all of my fingernails were gone (much to the dismay of my second graders, who were banking on me to win a nail-biting contest with the principal) and I had accidentally eaten a whole column of a package of Oreos (much to the dismay of my friend Tera, who wants me to lose an inch off of my waist in order to fit into my bridesmaid dress in March).

It was a rough and sleepless night.

The drive...

Trying to obtain a legal driver's license in Japan is absolute carnage.
The 57 point process is neither easy or quick, and begins long before new teachers arrive in Japan. The moment our positions are secured, we are asked to submit paperwork and copies of current licenses to our school secretary, so that as early as January (it was May for me), the conversion of paperwork and legal documents for the licensing process can begin.

Although I know how the story ends, my flair for the dramatic is now kicking in. Therefore I have to say that this story is so awful (which isn't far from the truth), that I can only bear to tell it to you in multiple parts...

Day 1

On day one, myself and 4 of my coworkers headed down to the driver's licensing station, which is one hour from where we live, to turn in our paper work and take the written and vision tests that are required before we have to take the actual road test. I drove my own car with my pal Todd, and my other friends, Justin, Kumi, and Karianne drove in the car ahead. We made it on time, no problem.

The Japanese are very thorough about EVERYTHING, and Kumi, being Japanese/Venezuelan with three passports had issues from the start with her paperwork. We were told at first that Kumi would likely not make it through the paperwork process, but, being wrapped up in our own talk, we just gave an 'awww' and went on our way. When my turn at the window came, I was feeling good and ready to go. I mean, it's just confirming paperwork, right?

Wrong.

It turns out that when I was hired, in May, and sent a copy of my Iowa driver's license to the school, in May, they neglected to tell me that if I were to renew my Iowa driver's license before coming to Japan, which I did when I was home in June, that I would need to submit new copies of my new license. Since I didn't, the months of paperwork that had started in May, were invalid, since the license I showed (new Iowa driver's license, obtained in June) did not match the copy they had.

Wendy was done.

It didn't make me feel better that Kumi made it through just fine, no issues. I was the only one of the four who was told I couldn't get my Japanese license.

Luckily, by the good graces of other gaijin (foreigners), I was able to work with the HR lady to, that day, obtain the necessary translations of my current license, and made it back to the center on time, barely, to take my test. My friends, having passed the test three hours earlier, while I was making a wild goose chase around town, had left hours before I did, leaving me alone in the cold, smelly Japanese office that is the driver's license station. I was able to take the written test, and passed, but barely.

Needless to say, many tears were shed that day.

Being a novice

My life is busy, in a self-inflicted kind of way. I won't bore you with the details (because that WOULD be boring), but for the sake of my mother, who always loves to hear how I am, the answer is fine.

But enough! Today I am going to write about my new passion: skiing.

Do you know how much it costs to ski? To gear up and really ski? A lot.

In the last two weeks, I've bought a new ski jacket, ski gloves, ski goggles, ski shirts, ski socks, ski poles, ski boots and a ski bag. The only thing I haven't bought? Skis.

My friends are die-hard skiers. I suck at skiing. So, much like my life (sigh), I am faced to ski the green slopes by my lonesome. But, I don't mind. It's just another part of this routine I call Japan.

Have I ever told you how much it costs to live in Japan? It's a lot. (And what does this have to do with skiing, you ask? I'm getting to that...).

You see, when you live abroad (or maybe it's just me), it doesn't feel like you are really living, but more like you're on vacation. So, you spend money as if it were coming out your ear (really, maybe it's just me). Did I flinch last week when I did buy those skiing gloves for $60? Maybe for a moment. The ski boots for $300? I didn't bat an eyelash.

This weekend, in an attempt to NOT be such a novice, I am even having private ski lessons. It is my goal, now, to ski well by the time I leave Japan. I can officially say that I have been skiing this month more than I have ever been in my life, and I am loving it. Good thing too, for the sake of all my new gear. Seriously.

So, Nagano (yes, that's where they held the winter olympics!), here I come.

Small children, beware. I am taller, faster, and heavier than you (and my brakes don't work yet...)

Things I've Come To Expect in Japan

When I go shopping, I have to take off my shoes before entering a dressing room.

While I'm changing, a GOOD saleslady will turn my shoes around for me so that when I come out of the dressing room, they are facing ahead and I can just slip them on.

OTHER sales ladies will forsake the shoes altogether and just snicker (or, as on a recent trip to a local store, openly laugh) at me when I go in. I am never sure why. Sometimes the don't stop until I leave the store. Even after I've proved that my rear (snugly) fits into the same jeans as their rears do.

-----

Small children will stare at me wherever I go.

When I am feeling nice, I will smile at them.


Sometimes I wave.

And if I'm grumpy, I stick out my tongue.

It's funny, though, that no matter which of the three I do, they always huddle closer to their mommies.

-----

When I go to Daiso (my favorite store) in heels, I can see over the top of all the aisles. Which makes shopping truly convenient. Especially when trying to find friends who I'm shopping with. Or brooms or something.

-----

The nicest people (consistently) are those who work at Starbucks. Or, at least, I guess those are the ones I see the most. So, maybe that's a bias opinion.

-----

Telemarketers and street sellers avoid me like the plague. (woo hoo!)

In fact, the look on the door-to-door salesperson's face when the door opens and they see me is PRICELESS...

----

When I go to the petrol station, I order legulah gas.

And I am quietly accepting the fact that it will be years before I can order Pizza Hut. Sigh...

----

It's just what you come to expect as the norm, I guess. Maybe it's what keeps life interesting. You know, legulah gas and all.

:)wf

Cacusing

The COOLEST thing about the 2008 elections?

The Iowa caucuses!

Why?

Because EVERYBODY in the world is reporting from there!

And why is that cool?

Well, it works to my advantage that EVERY news show is being broadcast from the streets that I remember and love and see so little of.

:)

In fact, on tonight's Evening News (CBS) and yesterday's Today Show (NBC), both did a bio on Iowa and the people. I'm just searching for someone I know.

But, as someone with an ear out in the world, rumors spread that Iowa may be relieved of it's primary caucus position if more people don't get out and vote. A little more than 10% of people are expected to turn out (in a state where 94% of the population is white, another political mark against us!).

So, get out there! Caucus! Come on Iowa, you can do it!

(and keep those cameras rolling!)

Survivor Man

Err... Survivor Girl, that is...

Have you ever heard of the show Survivor Man? They take this guy and put him in the most random places in the world to fend for himself and live off of what the land gives him. Like the show Survivor, but just for one person. I always thought it sounded like a great concept for a show, until I became Survivor Girl. Yesterday...

Imagine, if you will, the WORLDS WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO. I found myself in it yesterday...

I was driving down the street (lah de dah) in my friends Roger and Kerry's car, on my way to the bus station to pick them up from their trip home. I made the choice to take my eyes off the road for two or three moments, and before I could look back up again, I hit a curb, immediately flattening the front tire.

Crap.

So, I pulled into an empty lot to check the damage and assess the situation. My assessment is as follows:

1. I've just wrecked someone else's car.
2. It's bloody freezing outside.
3. I know how to fix a tire, but can't be bothered to get out in the cold to do it.
4. I don't speak the language and can't call for help.
5. EVERYONE I know is out of the country. EVERYONE (not just most people, mind you).
6. It's a holiday - nothing is open.

So, I check my mobile phonebook to make sure there's nobody I can call, and I find Kumi's number. My friends Kumi and Daniel are around, in fact, I am slated to have dinner with them later in the evening. I call and call and call, but Kumi doesn't answer her phone. I don't have her home phone, or Daniel's mobile.

Crap.

I'll just have to fix the tire myself.

Easy enough, I guess, until I opened up the boot and realized that Roger doesn't have a tire kit in his trunk. A tire, yes, but no tools to fix it. No jack, no wrench, no nothing.

--

So, let's review: I can't fix the tire as there are no tools. I can't call for help from a friend, I can't communicate with the locals, and it's a holiday, so everything is closed.

Crap.

What would you do?

December

Boy, I suck at keeping up.

I am embarrassed that my last blog entry was from November 11! Yikes!

December was a busy month, naturally, at school and at home. Life is good though, and a lot has happened this month.

Update:

My first semester at NIS wrapped up uneventfully. Our school holiday is three weeks long, which is a welcome rest.

I have not yet taught the students the Macarena, but will very soon.

I rearrange my house at least one time a week. It puts a new perspective on things, and makes me feel like I have all new stuff. It's like shopping, but free.

Now that my Bali holiday has ended, I am beginning to save up for my trip home in March. That is, when I stop shopping, which I've been doing (and will continue to do) for the next week of break. You know, it's funny, when you start making more money, you actually go out and spend it on all the things you wish you could have had when you were poor, thus making you just as poor. Only now you own more crap.

On top of teaching each day, I am also tutoring five students a week and teaching 6 adult English classes per month. In February, I'll be house/kid sitting for a family at school who will pay me to stay with their kids (one of which is my own student).

My classroom has now been equipped with one of the only two interactive white boards in the school. It was installed over break. To get an idea of this piece of technology, imagine your computer projected onto a giant white board that lets you touch and drag and click by using your finger. It's pretty amazing, and I am honored to get the chance to use it and share my learning with colleagues.

I am missing all of my family and friends back home, but am content knowing that you are all healthy and happy.

Happy December. See you in January...

Baliday

My Baliday
By Miss F.

(before leaving for break, I assigned each student a writing journal, in which they were to write one page each day of break. in an effort to more effortlessly share my bali trip with you, I am going to share my journal (it's only fair that I had to write one too), in about a dozen short installments, to share part of my Baliday with you. it's a quick read, if you're interested, and contains just a few pictures. please note that internet links are a bonus for you, and will not be available for my second grade students.)

----------------

December 16, 2007
Ouch!

Today was a painful day!
Miss Pruce and I went together to get our eyebrows waxed, and it was not very nice. First, they put hot wax on your eyebrows, then a strip of cotton over it. Lastly, they yank the cotton off, peeling all the hairs with it - ouch! In the end, though, my eyebrows looked great.
Late in the evening, I realized that my flight left at 9:00 am on Monday, not 9:00 pm, like I had thought. Oops! I had to pack really, really quickly, and scramble to find a ride to the airport in the morning. Luckily, Mr. Webb was able to take me bright and early. I hope I make it!

----------------

December 17
On My Way

I made it on time!
Sometimes traveling alone is really boring. Luckily, I had lots of tv and movies on my Ipod. While it was charging at the Korean airport, though, I took a break and studied my Japanese. While I was doing it, I ate a whole bag of Korean pumpkin candies. Yum!
Also today I have four different currencies (kinds of money) in my wallet - dollars (American), won (Korean), rupee (Indonesian), and yen (Japanese). I didn't really need the won, I just bought it for fun! :) My wallet is now very colorful inside!

p.s. I was so excited this evening - on my long flight between Seoul and Bali, the airline ran out of room in the plane, so I got to sit in first class! You should have seen me giggling at my luck! My seat was huge and reclined almost to a bed. But the best part was that I got to watch heaps of movie from my own personal screen, and I chose High School Musical 2, which I have been dying to see! Yay!

----------------

December 18
Contiki Bali

I really like my first resort. There are 5 pools and a spa. On day 1, I got a pedicure (for my feet) and a facial (for my face). In fact, today I booked massages for every day of my stay. How exciting!
I have already met a lot of really nice people and it has been a lot of fun. Tonight for dinner there will be fajitas, a Mexican dish that is one of my favorites. Right now, though, I am headed out shopping - I love spending money!
Contiki Bali Resort

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December 19
Surf's Up!

Day one of surf school today - how cool!
When I took a holiday in Australia, I tried surfing but did not like it. So, I thought I would try it again here. It was much easier, and my instructor was great. On my first try I was up on the board surfing, and by the end of the day, I looked like a pro! I've got two more days of lessons, so I am going to get really good, hopefully. Now, if I can only get over the board rash on my legs...

----------------

December 20
Charlie and Helen

I tried surf school again today, but had to stop because my knees were so sore and bruised. I will finish my surf lessons next week. One of the boys I was surfing with, Charlie, was American. I was very surprised, though, to find out that he and his family live in Japan! I gave him my e-mail address and hopefully we'll stay in touch!
Tonight, while I was eating dinner with friends, I noticed a girl sitting alone, so I invited her to sit with us. Her name was Helen, and although she is British, she lives in Japan too! Can you believe it? It's such a small world...

----------------

December 21
Petra the Pachyderm

Today was supposed to be my last day of surfing school, but instead, I pushed back my lessons to next week so I'd have time to recover and feel better. I decided instead to go on safari today with some friends. We got in a van and drove a long way up to a volcano. When we got there, we got on bikes and rode all the way back down, through villages, seeing native peoples. My favorite part was laughing and playing with a group of local kiddos in a small village. They were so cute and had so little (very few toys - no tv...), but they were so happy. It was a wonderful experience.
On the last part of our trip, we rode our bikes into an elephant safari park. We had a great lunch and then got to ride the elephants. I've never been on an elephant before - it was a really neat feeling. In the picture is Helen and myself on Petra, our elephant.

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December 22
Getting better all the time!

My Baliday is really getting good!
Today I left Contiki to move into another, more quiet part of Bali. My room at my new hotel is really beautiful, like being in a palace (pictured). I ordered food, which was brought directly to my room - I didn't even have to get up!
Unfortunately, this hotel only had one night for me, the other two nights that I needed were full - so I was a bit worried. But, things always seem to work out, and they are building a new, fancier hotel next door, which they are giving me a room in to stay for my last two nights. This hotel next door is even nicer than the one I am in - if you can imagine that! They are very expensive, but, since they are under construction, they are letting me stay there very cheap, at about half of the price of what a night will cost when the hotel is finished...
Honeymoon Guesthouse, Bali

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December 23
Nature

Have you actually ever been woken by a rooster's cock-a-doodle-doo? I can now say that I have, but not by 1, but by 5, crowing for an hour, begging me to get up. Good morning! Good morning!
I visited with Mr. and Mrs. Genest today - they are staying in the same town as me! I met them at their hotel, and we went to see the monkeys at the Monkey Palace. There were so many monkeys, and wild too! Once, when I bent down to take a picture of one monkey, another jumped on my back! They were selling bananas to feed to them, but I didn't buy any because they were making the monkeys CRAZY!

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December 24
Retail Therapy

Today I am on my own for the first day since I've come. I was in a good mood this morning because I slept so well in my new place - the sheets were like silk! Amazing animal noises kept waking me up all night, but I didn't mind. It's neat to sleep in the middle of the open. I am just glad my bed has a netting around it to keep the bugs OUT!
When I went shopping today, the clouds opened up and it rained for 5 hours! So, I bought a magazine and sat down at a little cafe. I ordered a chocolate-avocado juice because I thought it would be interesting to try. I didn't really like it, but now ta least I know not to want to try it again!

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December 25
Christmas Dinner (x2)

Today I said goodbye to my great room (the picture, right, is the upstairs and downstairs, the entire unit which was mine during this stay), but not before taking my hand at Balinese cooking. I figured spending Christmas lunch learning how to cook great Bali foods would be really fun, and I was not disappointed.
After lunch, a cab picked me up and took me all the way back to my third and final hotel in Kuta, about an hour from where I had been. After relaxing for about an hour, Mr. and Mrs. Genest came to my hotel. We watched The Sound of Music and then headed out for Christmas dinner. I had Hawaiian pizza (ham and pineapple, as it seemed very Christmasy to eat these foods) and it was delicious. The restaurant was completely empty, except for us, but we had a wonderful meal.
Merry Christmas.
:)

Secandchans

Recently, at my gym, there was a contest. Each time you went, you received a stamp on a card. After three stamps, you redeemed the card for a can of sport drink.

The first time I turned my filled card in, I received my sports drink and a note. It said:

There is a present when three points are collected.
Moreover, the BIG present is a hit in Secandchans.
Let's Try!

What they (probably) meant was:
Here is your present!
We are also entering your name into a second chance drawing!
Good luck!

So, I am deciding to give you all a secandchans...

My last game, name those cities, was mildly popular. Mildly.

For those of you who made an attempt (that'd be Aunt Jenni and Anonymous), you were both right or close on 6 of the 7, with Aunt Jenni edging out the (anonymous) competitor 6 correct guesses to 5:

Rosanzerusu (Los Angeles)
Nyu yoku (New York)
Rondon (London)
Ajia (Asia)
Yoroppa (Europe)
Osutoraria (Australia)

Neither of you got Burajiru, or Brazil. (duh...)

Now, as I sift again through my Japanese lessons, I am finding more everyday, familiar words that seem plainly out-of-the ordinary when translated into Japanese. So, if you think you're keen and sharp, give the secandchans a go:
Let's try!!

people:
1. enjinia

places:
2. robii (informal place)
3. Itaria

things:
4. purezento
5. kado
6. enpitsu
7. terebi
8. chokoreto
9. kohii
10. takushii
11. biiru
12. Kurisumasu
13. sandoitchi
14. aisukuriimu

Good luck.

(and depending on the replies, there might be a thurdchans?)

Dear Mom and Gary,

I know it is going to be a year before you come to visit me in Japan, but there are a few things you'll need to know to help you get along. Since I've come, I've been collecting little tips for this exact reason, and I've decided to let you in on them a little early.

For starters, I will do my best to help you avoid Japanese toilets, but it is likely that before you leave, you will frequent a facility that does not care to take the more Western style into consideration. Please begin to practice for this now. The best tool to get you started? A spade and a 3x1x1 foot hole in the ground. Plus, I'll clue you in that it's much easier to use it if you face forward, not backwards. This is firsthand, tried-and-true knowledge on that that could save you some awkward embarrassment...

Raw fish isn't as bad as it looks. And it's much better than pretending what you are eating at Outback is anything close to what you'd expect to eat at Outback.

Mom: You are just going to love driving in Japan! Everything; the road, the steering wheel, all on the left side of the road. Just perfect for you southpaws! Imagine, for the first time in your life, reaching for the radio with your left hand. I bet it'll be a dream come true!

Garyls: The mailmen here are so friendly and courteous. Just like you! I'll see if I can't introduce you to a few...

There's no Dr. Pepper, or even diet cola. You'll have to do without. But there are lots of nice drinks you'll love. One, called Pocari Sweat, tastes just like it sounds. And green tea really is green and sometimes looks like powdered green chalk. I'm sure once you've tried it and gotten used to the pungent aroma, you'll really, really like it.

I hope you guys like soy sauce!

If you're really nice, I'll translate for you. Or, I just might sit back, watch you fend for yourselves, and laugh silently. (I guess it really depends on how many boxes of Cheerios you bring?).

Fortunately, at 165 centimeters, I don't stand out a whole lot. The bow-legged Japanese girls in heels keep up with me. But you two, measuring in at roughly 172 and 178 cm, well, you're screwed. The good news for me - when you get here, the little children at the shops will stop staring at ME so much...

Oh! I'm already so excited to see you both and welcome you to my part of the world! We'll have such a good time!

Love,
Wendy

A letter to my uncle

Dear Uncle Brad,

I think that eating hot dogs and enjoying them while getting pictures taken must run in the family.

I want to tell you, though, that when it comes to captured moments, you were much, much more graceful than me when YOU were photographed eating a hot dog.


That aside, though, I was much hungrier for this hot dog than you were. Much hungrier. So much hungrier for a hot dog, in fact, that on that day (which was today), I decided that that hot dog (and the accompanying Dr. Pepper) was the best food I had had in three months.


Let it also be known that Shizuko, my student photographer, was lucky to capture this shot only an instant before the whole thing went in my mouth and into my waiting belly without a single chew.

Aunt Barb would've been so proud, and not a bit shocked, to see truly how fast I ate that thing.

God I hate sushi.

Love,

your niece Wendy

Mmmmm....

My new love is Indian food.

Indian food. My new love is Indian food.

I can't get enough.

Sag curry, made of spinach, with cheese nan.

When we eat out at Indian, my meal costs as much as each couple, as I've made it a habit of buying two portions, one for lunch the next day. One weekend day I had Indian for breakfast and lunch (would've done dinner as well if I hadn't eaten it all during the first two meals).

When I told people that I've never eaten Indian food before, they were shocked. Then I told them I was from Iowa, and they understood.

Yum.

The ability to go...

I am mobile!

Blessed, blessed mobility!

Last month, I purchased a car on the same day that internet became available at my house. In one day I was twice as mobile as I was the day before. Then, a couple of weeks later, in my apartment, I finally got a cordless phone, which allows me to walk further than 1.5 feet away from the fridge when I'm talking to friends and family (very handy)!

The internet is great. It is fast, and lets me keep in touch earlier. I'll still pretend that I am too busy to write e-mails (wait, who's pretending?), but am more likely to get back to you sooner now. No excuses...

My car is a sweet little thing. It's a Honda Logo, a car which can't be bought in the States. It's small but mighty, and has a turbo engine. It has a lot of great little features, including CD sound, electric windows, heaps of space, and good gas mileage. A few weekends ago I went rafting, and my car was the one of choice, as it does well on petrol. I fit three large adults, plus myself, inside, with room to spare. And it goes super speedy. Pretty good for the tiny little thing that it is.

Helpful tip (and random tangent...) for driving on the left side of the road (disclaimer - only will work for me - don't try this at home): I just remember to drive on the side of the road that is the same as the wrist I have tattooed. Or, just follow the person in front of you and hope they're going to the same place you are...

Recipe for (hilarious) disaster...

(This is reminiscent of being in Auckland again, only instead of crass-mouthed men, it's an innocent-mouthed small child...)

The lesson: tuning in on interesting words
The ongoing lesson consists of teaching kiddos to listen for interesting words. I have made this lesson travel over to our daily read-aloud, The Trumpet of the Swan, in which children are supposed to listen for and share interesting words they hear. Since the book is a bit older, there are quite a few words of older fashion that the students do not know and find interesting. One word that one of my kiddos found interesting was gay. She infered (correctly) that it meant happy. So, we added it to our growing list of interesting words, and get excited when we hear it in our daily reading of this book, where the main character, Louis, is an exceptionally happy swan.

The assignment: writing sentences with your spelling words
Each night students are required to do various spelling assignments with their weekly words. Tuesday night's assignment is to write each word in a sentence, making sure to write the spelling word in colored pencil.


The recipe:

Mix together 1 part lesson and 1 part spelling assignment




(I feel gay.)







Luckily this student's parents do not speak a lick of English...

Name That City!

The Japanese, who like to make nothing easy, keep their society complicated partially due to 4 alphabets. Two of them, hiragana and katakana, are small symbols that make up the Japanese sounds in every word (in each of these two alphabets there are 47 symbols for each sound such as ga, wa, se, mi, etc...). The third alphabet is for words, and is called kanji. You may recognize it as pictographs, like Chinese writing. The fourth alphabet is the roman alphabet, called romanji, and is used in various forms such as writing bad grammar on t-shirts or spelling out words for stupid gaijin (foreigners like me).

Of the four alphabets, katakana is the most useful to know, as this is the alphabet that is used to spell out foriegn words that are not native to Japan. These words include such gems as clinic (ku-ri-n-ku), or America (a-me-ri-ka). As I have hinted in previous blogs, the Japanese have no sounds for some letters of our alphabet, such as l, th, or most blends.

I am telling you this because every day I come across a word that has been loosely translated from a foriegn word to fit the letter sounds that the Japanese have. This is a constant source of amusement for me, and tonight, I found the ultimate set of words, using Japanese sounds, to share with you.

So... please... see if YOU can name these cities, continents, and countries in the world (hint: it helps to sound each one out slowly):

1. Rosanzerusu

2. Nyu yoku

3. Rondon

4. Ajia

5. Yoroppa

6. Osutoraria

7. Burajiru

(post your answers in the comments spot - prize for the most guessed correctly - and no peeking at others' answers!)

Normal, not normal

Normal: driving on the right side of the road
Not Normal: driving on the left side of the road

Normal: one syllable for the word 'I'
Not Normal: 4 syllables for the word 'I' (wa-ta-shi-wa)

Normal: peeing sitting down
Not Normal: peeing while squatting

Normal: having 14 students in your class
Not Normal: having more than 20 (ooh... a little reversal on you there!)

Normal: the art of civilized conversation
Not Normal: reverting to hand signals and gestures when you want something

Disclaimer

Today, I spent USD$105 sending home packages to cover the three birthdays and two babies that have happened in the last two months.

I can do this no more.

Please, out of respect for my budget, do not be upset when I do not send packages to you. Instead, be assured that I will bring gifts to cover all babies, weddings, and birthdays when I come in March.

I promise.

:)

Before and after

Since coming to Japan, I've had to learn to speak two languages: Japanese and bad English.

Recently, I received an e-mail from a very nice Japanese lady whom I had spoken with during my Japanese classes. I had offered to work at a Japanese fair, speaking English to Japanese students, and she had written to say thank you.

In the past, my e-mail reply would have been verbose and wordy, (hopefully) intelligent, and with humor. It might have sounded something like this:

Hey Yoshiko!

Thanks for the great e-mail - I enjoyed hearing from you!

I am super excited and more than happy to do the fair next month. Having a chat with Japanese students should be right up my alley! It will be a blast, I'm sure!

By the way, I am looking to possibly get into teaching English to Japanese adults. Would you have any information on where I can look to get in on the likes of this kind of position? I'd really love to put my teaching to the test with older students, and help my Japanese at the same time! A double-whammy!

Thanks again for your e-mail. I'll look forward to hearing from you soon!

:)wendy

-----

Now, though, considering my audience, I've had to scale back the grandeur of even the most simple e-mails. Letters I write to parents and Japanese adults typically sound as follows:

Nanbu-san!

Hello again!

Thank you for your nice e-mail. I am very glad and excited to do the
Japanese fair! It will be a fun and learning event for me too!

I am good in Japan. I am here alone, and sometimes that can be a bit
hard, but the people I work with at the school are very friendly. I
like them. Nagoya is a nice place. It is hot as where I come from,
so there is not a big change for me.

It would be good to meet the family you have. The son and daughter sound nice. We can do conversation together to practice if you would like that!

Do you do teaching sometimes at the Nihongo classes too? I would like
to get more information about teaching English to adults in the
evenings. How do I find out about this teaching?

It is great to talk to you!

Wendy

-------

For further note, consider the following e-mail I received from a parent in the other second grade class. He works for Korean Air and will hopefully be helping me find discount airfare for my trip over the winter holidays:

hellow? miss foreman......
 
it is my pleasure to come to greet to you......
 
please do not hesitate to contact me.....
 
i will here for you in nagoya branch as a manager....
 
anyway, please info me about your holiday schedule bound for bali.......
 
then i will give a itinerary and air-price...
 
so, lets keep in touch!!!!!!!!
 
bye now........take care!!!!!!
 
Sincerely yours
 
Sanghoon (jinhee father)
 
phone number : 090....

You Laise Me Up

Now, don't get me wrong. I am very, very tolerant of others. I am very accepting of people for who they are. No matter what they say or do as part of their culture.

But I'm not going to lie. Sometimes a big, big laugh just comes out. Often in the most inappropriate times. Like this one...

Last week, there was an amazing youth orchestra who came to our school to do a concert. It was BEAUTIFUL! The string players were from 10-20 years old and were brilliant.

There was also a singer who did an opera number that was breathtaking.

But then...

She started to sing "You Raise Me Up" accompanied by the strings. It was fantastic, until the first line of the chorus came and she started singing "You laise me up, so I can cwimb on mountains...."

When the song was over, my tongue was bleeding from biting it really hard.

It's tough being a role model for children...

Worst Day :(

Recently, my friend Marc e-mailed me. The first line of his e-mail said, "What a nice surprise! How is Japan treating you? Feeling tall???"

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Little does Marc know how true his words were...

Tonight I bought a swimsuit. I had to buy an XL.

It was still a big snug.

Sigh.

Contest

I've just heard of a great contest for one and all. An offer that you just shouldn't refuse...

The contest name?

WHO IS GOING TO VISIT WENDY FIRST?

The winner of this contest will receive FREE* room and board within first-class accommodations** in a country of choice.*** The recipient will receive first class dining**** at local luxury restaurants and will also enjoy being shown fine sights***** and local customs and cultures.****** Chauffeured driver included, opportunities for adventure******* available as well. Translation (when possible) upon request.

To enter, simply go quickly to your nearest travel agent, and book a trip to Nagoya, Japan.

It's THAT easy...

----

* Free if you bring goodies like Twizzlers and Cheerios.
** Comfy futon in 2-bedroom apartment.
** If your choice is Japan.
**** Sushi or Indian, you pick.
***** Mmmmm, Starbucks.
****** Bowing until you have a headache.
******* Choose your own toilet (when available).

New favorite picture

This is my new favorite picture.

Take a walk back in time with me to the story behind it...

It's the first day of school. My little Brynne, an American, walks in the room. The following conversation is verbatum (to the best of my memory)

"You must be Brynne! Hello! I'm Miss F."

"Hello..."

"And where in America are you from"

"Iowa."

"Iowa?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Not Ohio, right? Iowa?"

"Mmm hmm."

"OMG. Me too! Seriously? Like proper Iowa?"

"Yup..."

Now, walk back to today with me. It's 8:15 and Brynne's mom, the reading specialist at school, is chatting with me about a student. Brynne is coming in the door as well, preparing for the day to start. Brynne's mom says, "Oh, Brynne, come with me! We have a surprise for Miss F."

Brynne walks in two minutes later with the pictured shirt on. She said her friends back home sent it in honor of me.

Awww...

:)

o-tearai

Toilets.

Did I hear you say you wanted to hear about me talk about toilets!??

Well, that's kinda gross, but since you requested...

First, this is my toilet.

What's that you ask? Oh, Yes! That IS a faucet on top!

And you noticed there's no knob to turn the faucet on?

Well, silly, that's because when you flush, the water automatically comes up from the tank and through the faucet.

Where's the soap? Well, there isn't a spot for it. Which makes the idea of washing your hands right then and there a bit challenging, doesn't it now?

----

This is a public toilet.

No, silly, I'm not in the men's room!

This is what the woman's public toilet looks like!

What's that? You want to know how I use it??

AS IF! Ha! If I go to a restroom where there isn't a Western toilet, you better believe that I high-tail it out of there ASAP...

Any more questions?

The Nagoya somthing

How cool is this picture?

This weekend I went to the Nagoya something (can't remember the name, can't read the name) to watch some stage performers do a play of sorts.

We got there just as the show was starting, so only got a one sentence explanation of the story beforehand.

It was all in Japanese, and I actually fell asleep (I felt just like Nikki)... but it WAS really cool.

The main performer's husband works at our school, so we got backstage passes, thus the pictures with the pink ladies.

Severe weather...

... in Japan DOESN'T mean snow, ice, rain, etc.

No, no...

It means TYPHOONS!

(cool huh?)

I type this on Thursday afternoon at school. Lunch break. We just recieved word that if the current typhoon, just off the coast of Japan, doesn't change course, it will hit us straight on.

That means there will be no school tomorrow. That means three-day weekend.

Sayonara, kiddies!

(cool, huh?)

So, to fill you in a bit about typhoons, I have created a mini, do-it-yourself lesson on typhoons.

Info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane

Tracking for Japan:
http://www.jma.go.jp/en/typh/0709.html (to see the track of the typhoon)
http://www.jma.go.jp/en/warn/ (to see the severity of the typhoon in our area (Nagoya is in the middle of the east coast)

Between typhoons and earthquakes (yes, we've already had an earthquake drill this week), this is going to be a fun, fun year!

(woo hoo!)

NIS

Nagoya International School is my new place of employment, and during the last few weeks, I've spent a lot of time here.

When I arrived in my classroom, it was FULL of stuff.

Wait... scratch that... It was full of crap. Old text books, old plans, old materials, student work, etc.

The teacher before me loved two things in this world: labels and hot glue. Neither come off of anything without leaving unsightly residue.

I spent the first 5 days just organizing and putting away what I couldn't use (which was just about everything). Then, I spent the next 5 days in meetings and setting up what I wanted.

My classroom library is extensive. There are A LOT of books. Unfortunately, though, the previous teacher loved to put large labels on all of them. Some books have up to two labels on the front and two on the inside cover. I was highly annoyed. First of all, the students don't need to see a label on the front of each book that says the name of the book, guided reading level, publisher, number of pages, and subject. That kind of label (if necessary at all) should go on the back cover, or inside the front. The killer? She DID put those labels on the backside AS WELL AS the front. Wasteful? I reckon! These labels, plus large labels telling the book's genre are placed so that they cover the title, Caldecott medals, author's name, and picture. They generally take away from the pleasing look of the book. My solution has been slow but sure - each day I take bits of wet sponge and place them on the labels of a few books. After the labels are nice and mushy, I easily scrape them off.

Geesh.

But, the room did come with lots of good stuff. Heaps of school supplies, materials, paper, toys, games, posters, etc. That stuff was fun to take ownership of and move around and around.

I also have a teacher's aide (for all my cutting, laminating, copying, busywork needs). She is Shuko.

My teaching partner, Nicholas, despite being Canadian, is lovely. He is very kind and is willing to try new things.

My kiddos are very smart and well-behaved. Very well-behaved, that is, for 14 kids.

I am glad to have a principal as great as my previous one, another gentleman who is happy to let me be a great teacher without a lot of interference. I am trying lots and lots of new reading ideas in my classroom, and have already been asked to be a model teacher for other teachers who want to watch teachers teaching.

I am a bench warmer on the school's teacher volleyball team, which is nothing new. I am also the youngest teacher to another by 6 months, and we, together, are the youngest to anyone else by at least 5 years.

All and all, I like it here.

A lot.

:)

Trash

In my kitchen, I have four different trash cans.

The first can, with a red trash bag, is for food waste and small burnable trash.
The second can, with a blue bag, is for small plastic, like food wrappers.
The third can, also with a blue bag, is for large cardboard, like cereal or shoe boxes.
The fourth can, with a green bag, is for non-burnables, such as foam or batteries.

Aluminum cans go in a blue bag as well, but not in the same as the others. For this, I have a separate bag behind the blue trash.

Plastic water bottles also go in a blue bag, but not in the same as the others or the aluminum. For this, I have a separate bag behind the blue trash.

Glass does not go in a bag, and has it's own collection container outside.

Paper cartons (orange juice and milk) are supposed to go to a separate facility a few blocks away, but instead I break mine down and sneak them into the blue bag for large cardboard.

Now...

Red bags go out on Monday.
Blue, red, and green bags go out on Thursday.
Glass goes out on Wednesday into a container set aside for it near the trash dump.

When the trash goes out on Thursday, there are four different spots for the four different kinds of blue trash, as well as the red trash and the green trash.

If you don't do it right, the trash police (who can sometimes be found sitting near the trash dump sites) will give you a ticket, as well as a lecture in Japanese.

Since I live alone, the only trash I take out is on Mondays and Thursdays (red) because it stinks.

The fun begins when I go to the Family Mart down the street to buy some take-aways. When I'm done eating, I throw the foam container in the green 'extra' bag, the plastic lid in the blue 'plastics' bag, and the napkin and chopsticks in the red 'burnables' bag, thus making the effort of throwing the trash away enough of a calorie burning exercise to sweat off what I've just eaten...

First Week

I don't know which is the better story for my first week...

1. Wednesday, a baby mouse (which had been eating teachers' food) was caught, put in a gerbil cage, and effectively slipped through the bars to become the terror of the entire K-3 corridor,

2. Yesterday, one of my students went toilet in his pants (oops!),

or

3. Today, when the aforementioned student walked into the classroom before school and announced to the whole class, 'I'm going toilet now so that I don't go in my pants again!"

I commended him for his attitude and his good humor.

Now, I'm going home to sleep until Sunday...

Day 1

When it was time for the first day of school, I was ready...

My 14 students walked in. Little do they know that I was as frightened of them as they were of me.

Silly kids...

Here are a few things I learned about second graders today:
Even though they're 8, they still love to sing songs.
Even though they're 8, they love to give hugs.
They can read everything!
They are independent!
They are SO smart!

Photo: 2B - Ai, Alex, Bernardo, Brynne, Haruka, Hikaru, Jubei, June-Q, Keely, Mikaela, Nina, Shizuko, Sho, and Tereza.

I promised to memorize their names by the end of the day, which I did.

It was June-Q's birthday, so they learned the Beatles early.

All in all, it was a good day.

(And no, I haven't turned Japanese since coming - that's my teaching assistant Shuko in the photo...)

Watashi no apato

(My apartment...)





...came with furniture.










...is 4 rooms.
...is WAY too much space for me.







...came with dishes and pots....
...came with food....
...has appliances whose buttons and instructions are all in Japanese....








is growing on me slowly...


(photos: my (still very plain) living room, (very plain) bedroom, and kitchen)

Easy, Peasy, Japanesey

Hello from Japan!!

After all the stress of thinking about coming to a (really) foreign country, getting here was easy...

The airport? It was a piece of cake!

In fact, before taking off in Detroit, I inferred that the Nagoya airport probably wouldn't be nearly as bad as I thought, considering 1/5 of the passengers were English-speaking Anglos.

I was right. The airport was easy. It was nearly empty, all but my flight. Signs were clearly marked in English, and I even had my temperature checked before I was able to proceed to immigration. Customs was a joke (should have packed more dangerous stuff...), and I was out the door in less than 20 minutes, landing to shuttle.

To be honest, it was the flight that sucked....

In comparison to my last three international flights (on both Air Tahiti and Quantas), this one ranked at the very bottom in regards to service, entertainment, and comfort.

You see, I was expecting, as you would on a 12-hour flight, for some in-flight entertainment in the form of tv screens usually (in my experience and that of others I know, on flights of this length) placed in the back of the seat in front of you. Usually, 20 or so movies are available for you to choose, as well as games, sports, radio, and a flight tracker, showing you where the plane is on a digital map as well as local, arrival, and departure times and temperatures.

Instead, on this flight, there was one tv screen at the front of the cabin, and it was broken. Therefore, through the whole trip, I had no idea how much time had elapsed, was remaining, or our flight path, which, on a 12-hour flight, is good information to keep you sane. The chairs were less than comfortable, and we were not given the usually complimentary packages of earplugs, eye patches, socks, headphones, and wet wipes to make the trip more comfortable.

We chased the sun the whole way, so it was never dark on our trip. For 6 hours of it, the cabin windows remained closed so that people could sleep. I think artificial darkness is creepy.

The flight attendants were far from friendly or apologetic when both my dinner and breakfast choices were unavailable when it was my turn to choose. Needless to say, I left the plane sick and hungry.

My favorite part, thought, turned out to be the self-entertaining game of 'How-long-will-it-take-before-the-flight-attendant-sees-that-my-call-light-is-on-so-I-can-get-a-damn-glass-of-orange-juice?' After about 10 minutes of annoyed waiting, I decided to be equally as annoying and press my call light on and off, over and over again, thus, making it the self-etnertaining game. She wasn't real happy when she came over, but neither was I.

The old man next to me and I were separated by one empty seat, which I had hoped for when I chose my seat earlier in the day. I used this extra space to lay down during the flight, finally falling asleep around hour 9 (I JUST can't sleep on planes). I am a fidgity rester, and I am sure that he was less than thrilled to be seated next to me. I am also sure that he had the bladder of a camel, as I kept trying to wait until he got up to go toilet so that I could as well, which didn't work as he didn't pee during the whole trip (no joke). When I finally DID get to the bathroom, I noticed that I had popped a small blood vessel in my eye. I guess my eyeballs couldn't take the strain of my bladder being that full either.

But, as I flew in over the mountains of Japan, watching the sun setting behind, I knew it would be all ok....

Muy Importante

In familiar fashion, before I go, it'd only be fair to write a few words about the people who made my summer truly great. Unfortunately, I took less than a dozen pictures all summer, so I don't have current photos to go with. If a photo is there, it'll be an old one. But, I'll get working on that...

-------

Ma and Pa

My parents deserve to come first. They are great.

It was so nice to come home to a house with brand-new carpet and an HD, plasma, flat-screen, wall-mounted TV. I don't watch it by myself because I can't be bothered to learn how to use it, but it's still cool.

Al Gore WOULD NOT be glad to know that my parents only use each bathroom towel one time before washing, but since he doesn't read this blog, I think we're ok. Not environmentally-friendly, but ok.

Mi madre has been INCREDIBLE to let me borrow her car this summer. We are taking turns being very flexible and easy when it comes to getting places. It's going very well.

Between the three of us, we work 5 jobs. My dad's new job is top secret. Something about running drugs or something.

It's one great household...

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Nikki

She's my bestest friend.

I actually hate everything about her, but she's still my bestest friend.

(In the world.)

The end.

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AB

My auntie is a pretty cool lady. She's kinda like a second mom and a second grandma. She's one of my number one fans, and I hers. Each year, we do this great dinner get-together called Shishka-Sunday at her place, and it's one of the highlights of the summer. She takes care of all of us well, and makes sure we always have what we need. In times of need, she's there to support, whether it be a kind word or a trip to Target.

She's the bee's knees.

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Kelli

Leave it to my silly cuzzie to get knocked up, but, out of her came little baby Corbin, who is the sweetest little baby...

Kel and her husband Justin are great together. They have a cute little house and cute appliances and a cute little garden and a cat and a dog and a baby. This week they asked me to house-sit, which seemed like a good idea until I realized how irresponsible I tend to be sometimes. Note to self - put warning on future housesitting offers...

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Grandpa and Grandma Dunaway

Grandpa - My golf partner. How cool is that?










Grandma D. -
Spoils me with the BEST jell-o salad EVER, AND still lets me beat her at Yahtzee!










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The Foremans

Grandpa and Grandma on the farm - They're still making the best ice cream and BLTs on the planet!









Dad and Lisa in Indianapolis - They're always welcoming and fun to visit. It's great to see my little brother Sam and sister Sara grow so big and so smart!









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Jen and Pete

My oldest Aunt and newest Uncle. Adventureland was a blast, and seeing both of them this summer was too. They were so kind to loan out their basement last year for some of my personal effects (What, me have more stuff than fits at my parent's house? No...). As we grow older, we get closer and closer, which is great. I look forward to spending more and more time with them in the future.

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Tera

Yay for Tera who is finally getting married! It's about time! Woo hoo! I can say with 100% certainty that she and Zach will truly, truly be happy together...


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The Team

(in ABC order): Aimee, Amy, Danielle, Karyn, Melissa, Tamara
This group of girls is too cool for school. I've been involved with them for more than 4 years now. They are the gals that got me started in teaching, and they are still there at the end. To return the favor, I spend days in their classrooms helping set up, or spend time with them and sometimes their kids. In 4 years, the same core 5 of us are still around, with one or two great additions each year. If you count some of the coolest kindergarten teachers on the planet (Brooke, Rutz, Wendy...), you've got a group of teachers that can't be beat. We have a heck of a time together, when we get together, and I count them as six of the greatest friends I have.

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Lucas, Jane, Matthew, and Lauren

I love my kiddos! These four are former ones who all took time out of their summers to spend time with Miss F...
**Lauren got me started by offering me a spot in her yard during the Fourth of July parade. It was like having front-row tickets to the big show!
**I spent two nights hanging out with Lucas, once having dinner with his family, and once at a movie with him and his sister.
**Jane and her mom took some time out of their very busy schedule to paint pottery with me. Jane even painted me a popcorn dish to go with all of my others!
**Matthew and his mother were very gracious this summer, taking me out to lunch twice and arranging a 'private' tour of Matthew's school. It was pretty cool.

To all of my 1FO friends who I've seen or have gotten e-mails from (Tate, Macy, Mikey, Meg...) THANKS!

Two truths and a lie...

Oh! Let's have an interactive blog!

Here's the thinking behind my idea...

A couple of weeks ago, as I was daydreaming my arrival in Japan, I was thinking about my first days in Waukee, where, as a new teacher, I had to get up and talk a bit about myself. In professional settings, I've always tried to be a bit discreet, but thought that in Japan, I might let my freak flag fly, and instead, get up in front of everyone and play 'Two truths and a lie' out loud so that people could get to know me that way.

That same week, I tried this game out on my parents. We were at the local theme park having a good time, and I introduced the game to Mom and Garyls, who weren't sure of how to play it. Once they learned the rules, though, we played it all night at the park with my aunt Jen and uncle Pete. We'd just be walking through the park and yell out a statement, to which everyone else had to decide if it was a truth or a lie. We had a blast!

Playing the game with friends and family is a bit tougher, because they know more about you, but playing with strangers is a riot, and is best played with lots of liquor. I have about 40 great statements saved in my head for future use, and I can turn any of them into a lie by switching small details. That way, I don't really have to make up anything absurd about my life, which is a secret to playing the game well.

But now, here's where you all come in...

I'm going to post two truths and a lie about myself. You can all guess which is right and which isn't if you want, but for even more fun, I'd just prefer that you post a comment (and be sure to sign your name in the name box!) for everyone to read that has two truths and a lie about YOU!

Oh! It will be so fun!

Two truths and a lie for me:

1. I actually have three tattoos...
2. I'm secretly a closet High School Musical fan...
3. My favorite food is ravioli in a can...

Not in America...

Like Borat, I love the US and A, but coming back was a bit of a shock. Although the initial 'whoa' has worn off, here are some little things that I'm still noticing about how my life is different now than it was two months ago...

In America, I:

can't give cheek kisses or hugs to people upon greeting. Most of them look shocked and sometimes squirm away (Marc Mattis!). Even my own family, sometimes, but I think they're getting used to it...

can't use abusive and inappropriate language in the workplace.

can't say 'black' when referring to an African-American.

can't wear frocks and leggings and skinny jeans without feeling a bit silly.

can't say 'Whatever, guys, I'm easy' without getting sniggers from people. That's a funny one (that I've come to start saying just to get sniggers from people).

couldn't seem to ever get a free drink and meal with every shift worked at Betts.

can't find a gay person hardly anywhere. Ok, that's only Iowa, actually...

Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons I Love Iowa:

10. Running through the corn and screaming at the top of your lungs is really as fun as it looks on tv.

9. Getting beat by one grandpa in cards is just as fun as getting beat by the other grandpa in golf.

8. Driving time from East Des Moines to West Des Moines? 20 minutes flat, no matter what time of day.

7. White trash.

6. So what if the I-Cubs are only Triple-A? The nachos are good...

5. Family, friends, and old flames.

4. Home-ade-ice-cream (and lots of it!).

3. Two words: severe weather.

2. Watermelon is much more fun to eat now that I've learned the adult
truth that the seeds won't ACTUALLY grow in my stomach.

1. Mmmmmm.... bacon.

Corbin

This is my baby cousin.

He's SUCH a cutie. He has a great mommy who happens to be one of my best friends (making me a bit partial). He's such a good boy - he hardly cries and always smiles. He's super strong and super smart already. He comes from good stock, I reckon...

We loves to listen to Raffi sing 'Five Little Ducks' at Barnes and Noble. He'll be a Starbucks junkie before you know it, if I have anything to say about it.

I've always disliked it when people dote on their family babies, but never mind that.

He's worth it.

231

Today's blog is brought to you by the number 1776 and the letters USA.

Happy 231st birthday, America!

Today one of my former kiddos, Lauren, invited me to come and sit at her house for the Waukee parade. Her house is right on the route (pronounced 'root'), so it was a great view. When I arrived, she and her mom had made a sign that said 'Welcome back, Miss Foreman!' I joked that if they would have had a convertible, I could have ridden in the parade and threw out candy.

In the night I went to my very first Cubs game of the season with my pa. We had a blast. We swore and cheered and spit and burped. I had my first nachos with runny yellow cheese, which was TO DIE FOR. The 12 year-old who made them must have figured I hadn't had nachos in awhile, as he loaded them high with lots of goodies. Yummy yum...


Any celebration is a good reason to eat nachos.

Happy birthday, America.