Child Endangerment Laws

I haven't written about school much lately, so I thought I was due. I reckoned it'd be interesting to speak about the child endangerment laws. Or the lack thereof, I guess. It's much different than America...

1. Last Thursday I was at school and it was my turn for lunch duty (which I have every Thursday). Two children had launched a paper airplane (this term's unit is flight) onto the sails that cover part of the playground. To try to retrieve the airplane, they were throwing shoes up at it in an effort to bounce it off. I allowed this, as I found it to be an inventive, creative way to get the item. As would be expected, though, a shoe ended up on the roof of the school. It was near the end of duty time, so I told the kids to go get Tu (the groundskeeper) and ask him to get it off the roof. I then went in the building go ring the bell, signaling the end of play.

When I came back, the ladder had been put next to the building and unattended children were climbing it, trying to get to the roof. Tu hadn't stayed to help, no teachers were present, just children climbing a ladder to try to get to the roof. I immediately went over to, a) take over the situation because the kids were too short to get to the roof, and b) take over the situation because really, were these kids climbing on to the roof without supervision?

I got on the roof and got the shoe, but got stuck (laughable, right?). So I asked Suzie Jo, a middle school teacher, to come help me get my feet back on the ladder. Once I was down, she said to me (in almost a scold), 'Next time, don't climb on the roof. One of the kids will do it.'

I'm sorry. What?

2. The following day there was a union meeting for all the teachers at school. The union meeting took place during the day, so after lunch, all the teachers left to go to the meeting, leaving a skeleton crew of 3 non-union teachers and 2 relievers (including me). Earlier that week the students had taken home a notice letting parents know that there would be a union meeting, and it was encouraged that parents find alternative care for their children for the afternoon of the union meeting. Being the good Ponsonby families they are, most kids were picked up at noon.

The interesting thing, though, is that no child signed out. The parents just rocked up and grabbed their kiddos. No telling teachers, no telling the office, just up and gone. Hayley my principal, was actually walking by me when a parent approached her and said, 'Do we need to sign them out?' to which she replied, 'Nope, they can just go. See you tomorrow.'

I'm sorry. What?

Also...

Kids aren't required to wear shoes. Anywhere.

The schools have no fences around them. Strangers can rock in and out at will, if wanted. Side doors (unwatched by office persons) are unlocked. Again, just come in and out if you want to, guys.

I'm allowed to touch children (gasp!)!

I never wear gloves when touching blood or (yes, I've had to) urine.

But, at the same time, kids are happy here. They are (for the most part) respectful and mature. They feel safe. The lack of fences has never caused a kiddo to go missing, through his own will or the will of another.

So although the practices still sometimes shock me, they sure are working.

(the picture is Hugo, one of my little cuties...)

日本

いとしい家族と友達　

私がちょうど日本の名古屋インターナショナル学校のポジションを受け入れた時であるあなたの全てが非常にすぐに日本で私を訪問しに来ることを考えること望む

恋人〔愛〕

(ウェンディ)

----------

ok, so I don't actually know all those little lines and stuff mean, but it's SUPPOSED to say:

Dear family and friends,

I hope you will all come and visit me soon in Japan, as I have just accepted a position at Nagoya International School.

Love,

Wendy

Betty

Betty Boombox, some call her.

Her real name is James.

She's a tranny, which is slang for transvestite. This means that he is a she is a he is a she.

Still with me?

Betty is a bartender at SPQR. She is very (and I mean VERY) cool.

It's no lie that I was initially shocked when meeting Betty. I guess this little girl from the Midwest wasn't ready for that kind of person. And I remember trying to not to picture the logistics of he is a she is a he in a visual way.

In reality, though, Betty is one of the kindest, most amazing souls I have ever met.

To be a tranny takes a lot of work. It's not just chop here and fold there. It's years of therapy, hormones, and for some, a loss of identity. Betty's takes a cocktail of pills each day. Depression pills to counter the effect of the pills that fight the testosterone and the pills for extra estrogen, pills for this, pills for that. I've seen them, man, and there's a lot.

Betty's house is nicknamed the Tranny Wonderland. It's a fifth-floor, downtown, high-rise apartment, and it's beautiful. It's full of Maori treasures from her ancestors, pictures of friends, and a huge, huge model train set. One night, in the funniest story I'll ever tell, I had a few too many with Betty and Nay Nay (who also lives there) and ended up making a last-minute decision to stay the night. I slept in Betty's bed (she insisted on sleeping on the couch), wore Betty's robe, and (gasp) even borrowed a pair of (brand-new) underwear that she had in her drawer. She had a riot telling everyone at work that we shared panties.

Oh, Betty.

But the most special thing about Betty was her recent gift to me. Pounamu, or Maori greenstone, is a gift that can only be bestowed on you (you can't buy it for yourself). It's a great honor to receive it from another person. My person was Betty.

I love Betty's beauty, inside and out, and my wish for her is to always be as happy as she makes others feel.

(good on ya, girl...)

11.5

(Instead of a card, my grandpa sent the following message this morning. I think he's quite clever, I especially like #7...).
-----
Happy Birthday!!!!!

Since I didn't get a card sent, I am going to make you a list. It is a list of the...

10 reasons we are happy Wendy is 26!

She's old enough to vote (but only if she comes back to her own country to do it).

She's old enough to drink (as long as she can recognize the difference between a straight and a gay bar)!!!! Sorry.

She's old enough to drive. (But can she re-learn to sit on the correct side of the car to steer - and refrain from "driving" while
on the right hand Passenger seat when she returns to the US?)

According to the old saying, "She's old enough to know better" but also knows better than to resist the great things in life such as chocolate and other sticky-gooey foods.

She's old enough to be on her own (a wonderful thing for parents in terms of money and the worst thing for parents in all other ways).

She's old enough to not wet or dirty her diapers (but do realize that may return someday - just with a new name)!!!

She's old enough to make her own decisions. (Yes, Dear, we know you have been doing that for 25-plus years - just not realizing you were not old enough to do it.)

It just adds one more year of things she does of which we are proud.

She's old enough to realize how much all of us love her!!!!

And, she's old enough to know we mean it when we say, "Have a really happy birthday and many, many more!!!!!"

I love you, Wendy

Grandpa D and Marvel

Three Simple Rules

When I was teaching at Waukee Elementary, my students once had an Earth Day activity to complete independently at station time. The job was to color and cut out a picture of the world, glue it to a second sheet, and write three things one could do to keep the earth beautiful.

One of my little cherubs, Jacob, hit the nail right on the head. In fact, he did such an amazing job on this project that I kept his work, framed it, and have it now hanging in my room. It's even one of the 4 prized possessions I would grab and take with me if the house was on fire...

Jacob's three simple rules for keeping Earth beautiful?

1. Help pick up trash.

2. Always keep it clean.

3. Make love and good friends.

Yup. That'll about do it, buddy.

Lessons Learned

By Wendy.

In a week I will transition from my early twenties to my late twenties.

Sigh.

The lessons I've learned since my last birthday are many. I could write a book, but that'd be boring. Instead, I'll just share a few...

I've learned that no matter where you go, there you are. You won't be different, but you will change.

I've learned that loss hurts. A lot.

I've learned that when things aren't going your way, it's o.k to ride the waves. Good days can be good, bad days can be bad. And whether it's a day, a week, or a month, this too shall pass.

I've learned that the best cure for a hangover is a trip to the toilet and a mince and cheese pie (though not at the same time). In fact, I look forward to the mince and cheese pie after a night of drinks. It's like a guilty indulgence.

I've learned that some nights, no matter how tired you are, you just don't sleep.

I've learned that it's o.k. to accept those nights.

I've learned that insecurities are a part of each and every one of us. They make up a big part of who we are.

I've learned to learn from every mistake I make.

I've learned firsthand that tattoos are cool, but that they hurt. A lot.

I've unfortunately learned that in general, most Americans typify why people hate Americans.

I've learned not to be one of those Americans.

I've learned that sometimes you have to be a better friend to others than they are to you, and although sometimes they make it hard, I've learned to treat others the way I want to be treated for that exact reason.

I've learned that I won't always get what I want.

I am learning to accept that I won't always get what I want.

I've learned that if you love something enough, you sometimes have to let it go. And if it comes back to you, it's o.k. to tell it to sod off.

I've learned that working hard for something, and I mean really, really hard, is worth it.

I think I've learned that being indecisive can be a good character trait sometimes.

I've learned to live my life to the fullest. I refuse to settle for mediocrity, and I hope my passion and zest for making the most of my life is contagious.

I've learned that living is easy with eyes closed.

I've learned to never say no to a friend.

I've learned that patience is a virtue (that I still don't possess).

I've learned that the time to be happy is now.

Lastly, I've learned that the most important thing I can do for the world is to be selfless. Good deeds done each day - giving your time and expecting nothing in return, smiling, being a role model, doing no wrong by others - truly work miracles. If everyone could do it, the world would be a better place. And since I know that it's not easy for everyone, I'll do my best to overcompensate by constantly being a better and better person each day.

Until next year... the end.

Doug

In honor of his birthday week, let me speak about my brownest flatmate, Doug.

When Joy moved out, Doug moved in. Julia didn't ask us if that was ok, she just made the executive decision on her own.

Unfortunately for her, we lucked out... she picked a good one.

Doug jokingly calls himself Duggie Damage, although I think Duggie Dreamer would be a better choice. The kid loves to have lots of things and has big dreams. He is one of the nicest, nicest guy I know, and one of the best flatmates I've ever had.

Doug has his own personal training business called Hot Body Fast. During the day he works for Trelise Cooper, the premier fashion designer in New Zealand. He gets to work with super cool people, and gets a few good perks for being a great employee (a few cool gears now and then).

But the best thing about Doug is his kind personality (most of the time). Doug likes to be seen with cool and beautiful people, and manages to do so very well by having a great positive outlook on life. He treats people well, and thinks of others. He has a great aura, and will be successful in whatever he does.

Doug Fresh... This shout out is for you.

Korea

(my mom loves this story...)

Oscar Wilde once said, "We [England] have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language."

Quotes like this are evident in everyday conversation for me.

Kids at school have a riot when I say 'awesome!'

At work, I've had to learn to say filet with a 't' sound on the end.

And I will never, ever call the kitchen counter the bench.

Consider the following conversation I had with my flattie Doug about three weeks ago. Although it was more of an accent issue, the humor of communication between myself and my flatties is always a source of laughter.

----

'Zzzzzzzzz,' (me sleeping one morning).

Knock, knock. (Doug at my door).

'Huuuuuuh,' I said, sleepily.

'You've got a package from Korea,' Doug said.

'Huh?' i say again.

'A package. From Korea.'

(getting up, opening door, answering tiredly) 'Who do I know in Korea?'

'No,' Doug says, 'A package from the Korea. You know. The mail
guy.'

'Oh! the courier!'

'Yah! that's what I said!'

(uh, no it's not, and frankly, sometimes I think you might as well be speaking in Korean...)

SPQR

Aunt Barb calls it 'the alphabet place.'

Nik once called it 'QSP'.

Mom just says 'the restaurant' (but is getting better).

Tera was the only one who said 'I know what that means!' (clever girl...).

I've decided it's time to offer you all a little free knowledge (because that's what teachers do, right?).

AND, from now on, when people in the restaurant ask what SPQR means, I am just going to send them here to my blog. Because since I talk so fast, they usually don't understand me anyway.

So now, with no further delay, please allow me to present you with today's (very brief) history lesson.

---

SPQR stands for Senatus Populusque Romanus. which translates into 'The Senate and the people of Rome.' It refers to the government of the ancient Roman Republic and the emperors, who considered themselves representatives of the people (even though the senate and most of the laws were made of the emperor's will).

When people at work ask, I pretend to get real excited and say 'Oh! I love that question.' and I then proceed to bore them with the ancient historical context of Rome, ending with this: 'SOOO, it basically means that the senate and the people worked together for the good of all of Rome.'

In Rome today, many public features, such as manhole covers, columns, and cement grates, still say SPQR on them.

For a recent connection, in the movie Gladiator, SPQR is the tattoo that you see Russell Crowe knifing off of his arm.

For a more detailed explanation, including the historical context and modern variants, please refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SPQR, which is where I thieved the information for this short history lesson.

For a more detailed look at my restaurant, please refer to http://www.spqrnz.co.nz. The pictures are quite nice...

My Dictionary

In this country people love to text. Love to love to love to text.

When I ordered my mobile, I did not get a plan. instead, I pre-pay each week for credit for my phone. It's quite costly. I spend about $20 a week for the credit to be able to text and text and text my friends what could easily be said in 30 seconds of conversation.

Weekly, I use at least 98%, if not 100% of my credit on texts. I NEVER call.

When I got my new phone last month (the first was accidentally dropped in a glass of wine - oops!), I was relieved that the text feature was considerably faster than on my previous (dinosaur, cheapy model) phone. I was really excited.

I never, ever, ever use substitutes for words. I don't say 2 for to, or 4 for for, I don't write 2nite or gr8. Maybe that goes with being a primary grade school teacher...

But, to make texting easier, I use the T9 predictive text function. This function allows me to bring up words by typing each letter key once. The phone knows what word I am trying to use based on the letter combinations possible. For example, if I type 66, it comes up with on. If I want the word no, I just down scroll to the next word in the phone's dictionary.

As you can imagine, though, the phone doesn't necessarily recognize all of the words I want to use. Luckily, this phone comes with a feature called 'my dictionary,' where I can input my own personal words that the phone will remember when I want to use them again and again. This morning, as I was texting away, adding and using words from my dictionary, I thought it would be fun to share the list of words that most mobile phones don't come equipped with.

Because I have never been one to watch my language, please steer small children away from this list, as it does contain words not suitable for those under 18. I'll use discretion when possible...

My Dictionary (in the order in which each word was added):

flatties
flatty
Tessa
Garyls
didja (as in 'didja get my last text?')
ruggers (as in rugby, 'didja wanna catch the ruggers game tonight?)
dahling (the gay way to say darling)
NZ
marm (what I call my mum)
rex (my friend from New York)
Pons (for Ponsonby, because really, I can't be bothered to type it out)
effing (as the polite way to say f***ing)
yummy
arvo (afternoon)
bitch (not sure why this wasn't in the dictionary)
xxx (kisses)
occam (the local cafe on the corner)
FAVE (as in 'occam is my FAVE cafe!')
f**k (without the stars, when I don't feel polite enough to write effing)
ponsonby (for when I'm not feeling so lazy to type pons only)
chow (as in 'wanna go get some chow at Occam?')
aahhhh (as in 'it's bedtime, aahhhh')
bummer
heya
p*ss (without the star)
SPQR
wf (my sign-off)
Aroha (a girl I work with who is the constant subject of texts at work)
lippy (lip gloss)
sushi
wendy
muah (my friend Tera's way of kissing)
awww (as in 'awww, that's so nice')
tahi (a friend)
nina (a friend)
yikes
luff (another word for love, as in 'good morning luff!')
smartass
fellas
como (spanish for what)
hola (spanish for hello)
whitcoull,s (the local bookstore, as in 'wanna meet at whitcoull's in ten?)
cuppa (as in coffee, 'wanna meet for a cuppa at whitcoull's in ten?')
duh

Tessa

When I think about Tess and I being friends, I smile.

Because really, what is the chance that I would walk into a local food store in Auckland, New Zealand and find someone from the same state as I am? In my eight months here, I can say I've only done that once.

What are the chances?

Believe me, I've gone over the absurdity of it. If she wouldn't have been in the store at that moment with that (Grinnell Softball) t-shirt on, I would have passed her with no second thought. And to this day, I have never, ever run into Tessa at the store again. Wearing an Iowa shirt OR normal clothes.

She would have gone on living three blocks away, unbeknownst to me.

But luckily, I did run into her and we're now great friends. We get together for coffee, smoothies, sushi, or shopping a few times a week. We always have lots to talk about, and we go on, blah, blah. The humor of two Americans, sitting oblivious to the rest of the world (which is how we are when we get to talking), is pretty funny if you think of it.

Tessa lives with and loves her boyfriend George. They met last time she was here doing her outternship (evidently like an internship, but opposite) for culinary school. She cooked at the same restaurant that he was a waiter at. They dated very casually at first, and then realized that they really liked each other. But, when Tess left to go back to the States, she left George here.

After finishing culinary school, she decided to return, pursuing and securing a position at the Auckland Hilton. That's how she ended up back here, with George, and at my Foodtown (or was I at HER Foodtown?)

Although Tess and I are very different (she likes to work out, I've become allergic to exercise; she knows what all foods are, I thought a lentil was a 40 day religious fasting period) it's still super great to have someone with whom you can talk about home (and even though she doesn't know who the Nadas are, I've forgiven her). In fact, we agree on the following things:

We can't stand how unreliable kiwis are.
We agree that Girl Scout cookies kick Girl Guide cookie ass.
We think nothing beats a morning cup of tea at a local cafe.
We both think tennis shoes here cost WAY too much.
We can't stand the lack of choice at the supermarket.
We both think that soya is a dumb name for soy.

She'll also be with my when I get my next tattoo. Very soon.

Lucky me for wandering into Foodtown on that warm November night.

Option C

Been very, very busy.

Lots lately to occupy my time.

But have been thinking about option c, if a and b don't work...

If no teaching job, I might travel for a bit in a foriegn land before coming home. Maybe Asia or South America.

Does anyone want to come with?

In between

It's April.

Wow.

As of 6:40 am on Wednesday the the 4th (that's 1:40 p.m. Tuesday the 3rd, CST), I will have been in New Zealand for more than 7 months. It'll have been 30 weeks. 210 days. Or, to be MORE exact, 5,040 minutes. Which of course is 302,400 seconds.

Life hasn't changed much since my last update. I am still teaching during the day and working at SP at night. School holidays start next week, which will be nice for a break, but not for funds, as I have to work for three hours at SP to make what I do in one hour at school.

As for what's happening next, I just don't know. Well, actually I do. Kinda.

Last week, I had a phone interview with the American School in Milan. The interview went great, but I am now finding out that the position may no longer be available due to re-structuring of the lower school. For now, I'll keep on waiting for further details regarding that position.

I have also been offered interviews for schools in both India and Liberia, but have passed both up, as neither suits me geographically. I am having a hard time finding the excitement to commit to 2 years of teaching in either of these locations.

I continue to apply, though not as rigorously, at international schools in Europe, but also a few in Egypt, Mexico, and South Africa. Not being at the international recruiting fairs puts me at a gross disadvantage to other candidates, but I am doing the best I can to be thorough and persistent online and via e-mail. I am keeping my options open, trying to be flexible, and hoping for a position, most likely during a last-minute hiring frenzy this summer.

I will wait it out until August or early September, as my visa in New Zealand doesn't expire until then, and I figure that if I'm not teaching internationally somewhere else, I might as well be working and living here as long as I can for the experience that I'll never get again.

My backup plan, if no teaching job opens, is to come home in September and start grad school in the spring. The 5 schools who have a program that suits what I want to study are are at Tufts (MA), Penn, Columbia (NYC), Elliot-Pearson (Chicago), and Iowa. All five programs are very different, and I still need to research which one suits what I want to learn the best. I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind the deferment of my student loans as well... There'd be plenty of perks to being Stateside again, as prompted in my last entry. I'd love to be closer to family again, and would really enjoy having the opportunity to watch my favorite t.v. shows live. For free.

Doing that will mean taking another year off of teaching in order to come home, move, apply, and get started. I have researched US schools online and tried to search out positions in school districts near the institutions that I am looking at, but haven't found anything open. It's also a bit hard to comit to that job when I am waiting on overseas ones as well. I'd kick myself if I took a job in Massachusetts and were then offered a job in Germany. So, I can continue to be a sub, which I like doing, while getting settled.

Now of course, my my publicist requires me to add a disclaimer that any of this can change at any time...

Excitingly, I've just found out that one of my best Waukee teaching friends, Danielle, and her husband Eric, are expecting their first child at the end of this year. Just as exciting was finding out that my longtime friend and one time partner in crime, Jen Farrell, became engaged to her boyfriend Kyle, under the Eiffel Tower, during a trip to Europe in March. (boy - that paragraph had a lot of commas, huh?)

I have great friends and family at home who continue to send me care packages in the mail, which is always welcome and makes me smile. Both my mom and my friend Tera, after reading the horrifying story of the Girl Guide cookies, sent me boxes of Girl Scout cookies, which I am slowly rationing on a daily basis. My auntie sent me $20 this week, which was really neat to open up (and so foreign to look at!). Instead of spending it, I'm saving it - it's tacked to my wall. Coolest item in any package to date? My mom, who had all of the Super Bowl commercials put on a DVD for me (narrowly edging out the bacon that Aunt Barb's tried to send me last October - it was confiscated by customs, which is worth the story in itself).

During this 'in between' time, I am taking every day in New Zealand as it comes, and loving every moment of it. I have become more confident, and more cheeky (much to the dismay and smiles of my flatties), and am very proud to consider myself more worldly and accomplished. Each day I marvel on my coming here, and how effortlessly I have grown into the routine of living and working in a foreign country. It's very empowering, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Disputes

If you were able to be a permanent life-long resident and full citizen of New Zealand based on the number of times you'd used the court system in the first six months of your stay, I'd be in.

The Dispute Tribunal court and I are officially best friends (sorry, Nik).

I am in the process of filing my second dispute now for monies owed to me, and I have to say, so far, the legal system in New Zealand has not let me down.

-------

Dispute #1: Wendy J. Foreman v. Joy B. Winkleman

Joy is my former flatmate. You might remember at one time that she was going to sell me her car. Instead, she took $240 of my money to fix it and never paid me back. Or sold me the car. So I took her to court.

After finally securing a court date I showed up to plead my side of the case. She didn't - out of the country or mourning for a dead relative or car wasn't working or something like that. In her absence the court ruled in my favor. Joy B. Winkleman was required to pay Wendy Foreman the sum of $240 immediately. As you can imagine though, being 'out of the country' makes it hard for you to get your mail, so conveniently, Joy still didn't pay.

Imagine my surprise when a week after my court date, I went to a concert (in Auckland) at the theatre she was formerly employed at to find out that she was currently an employee, and was working that night (she's a clever one, huh?). Although I avoided her that night, I promptly went back down to the court on Monday morning to turn her in. She was summoned by a court official, and required to either pay or show up in court, with the consequence of being arrested for failing to do so. She paid the monies to me one day before the court date, although she still wasn't very happy about it.

As if I care how happy or unhappy she is.

-----

Dispute #2: Ian Bellew, Sheena Papuni, Doug Tauronga, and Wendy Foreman v. Julia Gibson (pending)

Julia is my (our) former flatmate. While living here she charged us each $160 per week for rent and bills.

Since those numbers mean nothing to you, follow me through some math:

$160 x 4 (just for fun we'll exclude Julia from paying rent...) = $640 / week for rent at 126 Williamson.

Imagine our surprise when we found out that rent on our property has only ever been $550 a week.

That's a surplus of $360 a month (let's also remember, just for fun, that Julia wasn't paying rent in that equation).

For fairness, we have to take out the bills too: $360 (what we've been paying) - 250 (bills) = $110 extra each month that we have never seen. (Still without Julia paying rent).

In essence, we figure that if Julia had been paying rent each month that the surplus in our flat account (only for the last 5 months that I have been living here and there's been 5 people in the house) would be significant, as demonstrated in the following equation:

$3600 (5 people paying rent for the entire month)
-2450 (actual cost of house rent + bills per month)
--------
$1150 x 5 (months) = $5,750.

But the truth is that Julia hadn't been paying rent. Our rent had subsidized hers. AND she thinks we owe her money. Around $400, to be exact.

So, we're still considering sending a dispute to the tenancy tribunal, but haven't decided yet. Noone in the flat can come to a reasonable decision about it (shocking, I know...), but I'm still pulling for court. It worked for me once, right...?

The Future...

A couple of weeks ago after catching up on my blog, my friend Tera wrote "I loved reading your blog about Mary leaving, but what will you miss when you leave New Zealand?"

So, I thought it would be fun to make a list. A predictive list of what I think I'll miss (and what I won't)...

I'll miss:
*pie
*SPQR
*aioli
*Nay Nay
*eating foccacia and aioli with Nay Nay at SPQR
*pineapple lumps
*rugby
*the scenery
*wooden floors
*not wearing shoes at school (never thought I'd admit to that one...)
*the weather
*accents
*Ponsonby
*dollar coins
*hanging my clothes out to dry
*kids calling band-aids 'plasters'
*not seeing SUVs
*flavored canned tuna
*Richmond Road Primary School
*the Auckland skyline
*rounding all payments to the nearest $0.10
*public transportation

I will NOT miss:
*the non-existant shelf-life of bread
*non-refrigerated eggs
*paying $13 for People magazine
*drama (Kiwis LOVE drama)
*not having heat or a/c
*the cost of toiletries
*Foodtown
*Ponsnobbies
*Auckland drivers
*the cost of living and the price of the dollar

I'll look forward to coming home to:
*Target
*fountain pop
*calling pop 'pop'
*The Gap
*sherbet
*diet cola
*cinnamon rolls in a can
*grocery shelves LINED with choices
*Old Navy
*seeing baby Corbin

Wide Wide World

Did you know that the Philippines are an American colony?

I didn't.

Imagine my embarrassment during the following conversation, which took place in front of my whole dance class, between Joel (my instructor) and myself:

Joel (taking roll): Wendy?
Wendy: Here.
J: Have I asked you yet where you're from?
W: I'm American.
J: From which part?
W: The midwest. Which is why I can't dance.
J: Not LA?
W: No. How about you? You have a great American accent.
J: I'm Philippino. It's an American colony, so we learned American english.
W: Oh, cool. (which is code for 'The Philippines is an American colony?)

Nonetheless, I checked it out on Wikipedia, my favorite online source of information, and checked that it does have ties to America. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the information made me think it had a strong tie to America, but America is mentioned once or twice. If you want more information about this, you can visit the website to see for yourself:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippines

I won't lie, though, that Americans are not well-renound for their traveling or knowledge of the world, especially from our part of the country. We're about as smart about the world as New Zealanders are about parts of the States other than LA or New York. Which isn't very smart.

This Monday at SPQR I waited on heaps of Americans, which put me in a great mood. I was chatting it up, being cheeky, having fun with all of them. I found one table of two California boys especially nice. Now, I never really try to guess where people are from, or even if they aren't from here, until they start asking me what things on the menu are ('What's capsicum? Rocket? Aioli?). These boys fit that bill, so I struck up the conversation with them about America. I told them where I was from, and found out the same from them. Then, one asked me, 'Tell me again roughly where in the States is Iowa?'

Oh boys. Really? DId you not have to learn the physical proximity of each and every state (spelled correctly) and it's capital (spelled correctly) in fourth grade, or was that just me?

For shame...

In another recent conversation with someone from home who needed some information about where I live, I got the following question:

'Is New Zealand part of the UK?'

Now, for anyone who might have wondered the same, but was too embarrassed to ask... New Zealand and the UK aren't even in the same hemisphere. So no, it is not part of the UK.

I still also have a couple of friends asking me how living Australia is going.

Again, two completely separate places.

Completely.

Moral of the story - get out and read some geography if you can. We live in a very, very wide world, and I've learned the more you know, the better off you are. It's all helpful information to know, for sure...

Girl Guide

(Girl Guide? Nice try, guys...)

-----------

So, I walk into school one day and there's a note on the board in the staff lounge:

'Girl Guide cookies - see Sharanee.'

And I thought, 'Girl Guide?'

?

And THEN I thought, 'OH! Like Girl SCOUT!'

(only not really)

Because after internally I laughed my rear off at the name 'Girl Guide' I went straight to Sharanee to get some 'Girl Guide' cookies. Because who could refuse?

But besides the fact that they're only NZ$2.80 a box (that's about US$1.80), they don't actually come in boxes. And there's only two flavors. Plain and chocolate-covered.

No wonder they only cost $2.80.

I got my packages today. I was not impressed.

They only come in two flavors. Plain and chocolate-covered. And they don't come in boxes. And the packaging isn't colorful.

So I put them in the lounge for the teachers to eat.

At least it was for a good cause. Guiding girls, I guess.

Then, I went home and laughed again, for a different reason, and this is why:
In New Zealand, joking names for islanders (Samoans, Tongans, Fijians, Nueans, etc..) are 'coconut' or 'darky'. My flatmate Doug, a Tongan, is a coconut. And a darky. But that's irrelevant. What is relevant is that Girl Scouts make a (really yummy) cookie called Samoas made with chocolate and coconut. And I think that's really funny.

Not as funny as Girl Guide cookies.

They only come in two flavors. Plain and chocolate-covered.

(nice try, guys...)

Taxes

I might move to New Zealand just so I don't have to do taxes.

My poor mother probably would think that's alright. She's been the one in the middle between my tax agent (Marlys) and myself, calling and e-mailing a few times a week with new questions back and forth between the two of us. Bless her soul...

In New Zealand, ALL pay is electronic. EVERY business is tracked by a general sales tax number through the Inland Revenue Department (IRD). EACH employee's weekly pay is credited directly to a bank account and is tracked by the IRD. Thus, the IRD is completely aware of how much you've made and if you're being over or under taxed. If you are, they'll replace or debit your personal bank account to compensate the gain/loss.

It's all connected, and it's a pretty impressive system.

Because of it, New Zealanders don't have to file tax returns. (nice, huh?)

I, though, will file one, as I believe I have been overtaxed throughout the year and am hoping for a refund. As a double employee and non-resident, it has been advised to me that over-taxation happens to people in my work bracket, so hopefully a big refund will ensue. We'll see how we go...

Tess and I were just remarking yesterday also how people don't write checks in New Zealand. I'm not even sure if a checkbook is something you can even get. I've NEVER had anyone pay at SPQR with a check. Ever.

Between that and the absence of 1 and 5 cent pieces (which is so, so great), this country has money figured out...

Pretty fly for a white girl?

Have you ever seen one of those movies where the main character really wants to do something that she's no good at? When she first starts she is really, really bad. Then, she works really hard and practices and practices, and by the end of the movie she's the hero? And the champion at whatever she didn't do well before?

I hate those movies.

But, I thought maybe I could be my own little butt-kicking hero with a happy ending when I started taking hip-hop classes.

Now I've decided otherwise. Not by choice, but by default.

My friend Aaron turned me on to the idea of dance class when he did it last term. He said 'It's a great way to break a sweat, meet cool people, and learn some moves.'

Break a sweat? Check.
Meet cool people? Check.
Learn some moves? Um....

I can Macarana like you wouldn't believe, and I love to go for a boogie on a floor of people, but this white girl can't dance hip-hop to save her life.

There are 20 people in this class with me. None are amazing at hip-hop. About 15 of them are former dancers, though, and have lots of grace in their movements. The other 5 have great memories and can remember each move through a routine.

I have neither grace nor memory.

I am just plain awful.

Do you see that girl in the middle who is standing when everyone else has shifted into a squat for the next move? Or the one who's going right when everyone else is going left? OR the strange, rigid, arthritic-looking one who is gracelessly meandering on the floor, one beat behind?

That girl? It's me.

I have no hope of bringing sexy back.

My poor instructor... he probably agrees.

Slanguage

Abbreviated words that Kiwis use (instead of the not-much-longer word):

mozzy (mosquitos)
prezzy (presents)
rellies (relatives)
rezzy (reservation)
preggers (pregnant)
flatty (flat mates)
chewy (gum)
cuppa (coffee or tea)
arvo (afternoon)
ruggers (rugby)
lippy (lip gloss)
brekky (breakfast)
trackies (sweat pants)
mezzy (mezzanine)
lappy (laptop)
nappy (diaper)
cuzzy (cousin)
pokies (poker)
chippy (fish 'n chips shops)

Words that Kiwis say that are more phonetically correct than us:

zebra
herb

Words that just look funny in print: (and come up wrong on spell check every time):

tyres
travelling
yoghurt
harbour
decafe (as in coffee)
favourite
colour

Julia

She's left!

She's moved out!

She took her husband and dog with her!

And yet, I am a bit sad... (barely a bit, but still a bit).

Yes, it's true. Julia has moved out. She's taken all of her possessions (most of the furniture, cooking ware, all of the silverware and plates, all major appliances...) and moved to her own place with her husband and dog (who have been living with us for the last month).

Flashback to one month ago: before we knew that Julia was deciding to leave, my flatties decided to move out and away from her (I was in Aussie at this time but was invited to join at their new place). They found a place just up the road and put down a deposit just before I returned. We were two days away from moving when Julia told us that she had bought a house. Instead of moving, we scrambled to drop the other house and stay in the one we're in. Our scrambling was successful, and we found that we were able to stay here with the lease transferred to Ian's name.

Now I still don't care for Julia, but I am not as glad to see her go as the rest of the crew. For starters, our dislike of her was a bond that brought the rest of us together. Also, the necessity for us to keep the house clean (because of her rules) was tolerable because we could complain about it and her. But it still got done. When she's gone, there's no telling how often this place will be cleaned (I don't live with the most motivated cleaners...).

But the thing that shocked me the most was the recent hour-long conversation I had with her in which she shared her insightful observations about all of the flatties with me. She told me what she thought about us all, about our personalities, and what kind of people we all are. Surprisingly, I think she hit the nail on the head. Her opinions of my flatties are similar to my own secret opinions based on observations. She also said that she trusted me second to Ian, and thought I was the strongest in the flat (when often I feel the opposite).

I think possibly, in a devilish kind of way, Julia is a lot more kind than we all thought, although even a couple of days after our heart-to-heart, I couldn't stand her again. And when she recently came and took the last of what she owned including the shelves in the bathroom, all of the drapes from all of the windows in the house, and the shades from the light fixtures in each of our rooms, I was really mad. (Luckily, though I was glad that I had thought ahead to pack my weighless, spaceless chinese lamp shade before coming to New Zealand - I knew that sucker would come in handy!).

If only her personality would have been a bit more tolerable and likable, we all would have gotten along much, much better.

So long Julia, good luck in your new place. Maybe invite us over for dinner (since we don't have a table, fridge, or flatware anymore)?

My restaurant

IS NOT a gay bar. Is not.

When Mom called this week and said 'So, are you working at the gay bar tonight?' I knew I needed to clarify.

Mom, it's not a gay bar.

"I think that's what everyone thinks!' she said.

Mom. It's not a gay bar.

'Even Gary thinks so' (puts hand over the phone) 'Don't you, Gare?' (confirmation from the background) 'Yeah, Gary too.'

Garyls! It's not a gay bar!

SPQR is THE bar. It's THE MOST happening place in Ponsonby. I love working there.

But it's not a gay bar.

The poshest of posh hang out there. It's been a busy hot spot on Ponsonby road since it opened more than 12 years ago.

But it's not a gay bar.

Maybe Nay Nay DOES wave at firetrucks (and the public transportation buses) when they go by.

But it's not a gay bar.

Many of our male customers prefer pink.
Many of our male customers wear nicer clothes than most men.
MANY of our male customers wear nicer clothes than most women.

Many of our male customers prefer, well... nevermind...

But it's not a gay bar.

Any questions?

Update

(for the moms and grandmas)

Teaching:
I am still teaching each day. I have upped my schools from two to six, and have relief work on a near daily basis.

One of my permanent jobs is a weekly relief position at Richmond Road (the original school I started at). I work for a teacher named Mareta while she has a release day each Thursday. She's got the babies, the new entrants, all five years old (like beginning kindergarten kiddos). The best part? Since it's the beginning of the year, there' s only 12 of the little (monsters) cherubs.

I am fortunate to work at very high decile (highly ranked) schools, but am still glad that I chose not to take a full time position, as the lack of consistency and coordination within them is enough to drive me mad! I am enjoying my work, though, and am learning from the (sometimes serious) challenges of each new day. Plus I am really keen on the flexibility that my job provides. I'm trying to look for some professional development courses, but the ones I am finding leave a lot to be desired. Too much money for not enough information...

My other job:
I was promoted to manager at SPQR for one of my shifts per week for a short period of time. After training for about two weeks (and doing well, I assure you), my other manager and I realized that it would be more beneficial to train someone who'd been around longer, who works more full time, and who will be around longer than I can guarantee I'll be. So, effectively, I was demoted as quickly as I was promoted. I liked doing it, but was a bit relieved when he told me that he was going to train someone else, as it's really hard to be a manager to others who've been working there for 5-6 years. So, I am still working one or two serving shift a week and doing cashier work as well, and am still getting a bit of a raise. Which helps with the raise in rent (see next line).

Living:
My flatting situation has moved from 5 to 4 people. Upon moving out, Julia has taken all but the house with her. She has taken all of the kitchen ware (and most of the kitchen), all of the furniture, my bed (back to the floor for me!) and the fridge. She has left one handle-less pot, a few pieces of cutlery, some dirty floor rugs and a dodgy couch (thanks, Julia). So although I once kicked myself for packing silverware, cheap plates and a frying pan when I came, I am now thinking that was a pretty smart idea. And I am only eating food that doesn't require refrigeration, which in this country, luckily includes eggs.

I have enrolled in a hip-hop dance class at the Auckland Centre of Performing Arts. It rocks my world. I can get the moves just fine, but I have just about as much grace as Bob Dole. Which is why I enrolled.

Future(?):
Most recently, I am waiting to hear back about a nanny job in Europe. I have applied for positions mostly in France, London and Greece. If a position comes through, I'll leave New Zealand within a few weeks of accepting it.

I am also still waiting to hear about teaching jobs overseas as well, although I am not sure that there are many that will suit me. Primary aged teachers in Europe seem to be quite happy with their jobs...

I have back-up plans in case neither plan happens, but we'll see how we go. I am quite happy where I am, so no need to stress either way.

Completely unrelated...:
Congrats to my teacher-friend Tamara who just got engaged to her long-lost, lifetime love. Woo hoo!

Yesterday I waited on Earl Spencer, Princess Di's brother. Which was more cool because of the fact that he is the uncle to Princes William and Harry...

Mary says

When Mary got home, she e-mailed me right away. It's interesting to see that the 'weirdness' goes backwards as well, and things we once found common at home are now unfamiliar and worth mentioning. Her e-mail from home follows:

---

"Things I did immediately upon getting to Union Square in San
Francisco...went into the Gap. You aren't missing much, but it is still way
better than Supre and Glassons. Then I ate an authentic, well sort of,
burrito at the food court! It was delicious!

Things I have noticed since arriving home about an hour and half ago:
there is too much water in the toilet bowl*, and it feels strange to
shower in a shower with a bathtub**.

I have caught myself getting ready to say "flash," and I have
repeatedly said "no worries" and "I'll see how I go."

I was nervous about maybe not remembering how to drive, but when I
drove to Gigi's for lunch on Tuesday, it was completely second nature!

I asked my dad if he'd ever heard of vegemite, and he said yes, but
he's never tried it.

When I plug something in to the outlet, I keep reaching to flip on the
switch (but, it is nonexistent, of course!).***

My parents have 5 huge jars of mild salsa in their pantry...my dad eats
it on everything...I forgot how much I missed salsa..."

----

*in New Zealand there is about 1-2 cups of water in each toilet bowl
**90% of showers here are square, 3x3 showers
***EVERY light switch here has a toggle switch to turn the current on, and it is common practice to always have the electricity off unless the outlet is in use.

Mary

When I decided to come to New Zealand, I knew Mary would be very excited. I never thought she would want to really actually come with though.

Her exact words were:

"Wendy! I'm coming with you, and I am NOT joking".

She wasn't...

Although it took a little push and pull, but she made the decision to expand her worldly experiences by spending a few months overseas.

But now it's Mary's time to leave.

(sad, but true)

I think Mary, like myself, has grown a lot since coming. I know she'll return to the States with a renewed sense of self and the confidence to do anything she wants, including things she might not have done previously. All because she can say she took a step and made the biggest decision of her life work out splendidly.

While here, our agendas were a bit different. Although more traveling would have been ideal, a little less leaves something for the reunion tour, right?

Mary has been a rock for me here. I have so enjoyed calling on her for lunch a couple of times each week, and she is a brilliant travel partner. Our differences allow us to be together well, as she is calm, collected, and organized, where I am not (at all). We've seen a lot, done a lot, and been through a lot, which will always be a huge part of our friendship, a part that others will never be able to understand.

(Besides, she can also say she was the official friend who was with me when I got my first tattoo...)

So Mary, I wish you the best. I hope that the explanation of all that you've seen and done does justice to the experience you actually had, even though you know it never will. But in me you'll have a friend who can always laugh at that funny joke about Canadians and hockey or your use of the term 'snow monkeys'.

Needless to say, you'll be sorely missed. Good bye and good luck Miss Mare...

Three (7) squares a day

When I come back to the States, this is what I am going to eat during the first day:

For breakfast:
three large, warm Cinnabons and two bowls of Lucky Charms

Morning snack:
16 rice krispie snacks from Java Joe's and a large bowl of italian tomato salad from Palmer's

Lunch:
a hot dog with ketchup, mustard, and pickle relish and nachos with orange nacho cheese

Afternoon snack:
bacon, bacon and bacon with a side of Velveeta Shells and Cheese (one box should be enough)

Dinner:
Olive Garden (one of everything on the menu plus 80% of my body weight in breadsticks and 20% in salad)

Dessert:
fried ice cream (two servings)

Evening treat:
grandpa's homemade ice cream

(And this is all just day one. On day two I'll start on 7 boxes of Pizza Hut breadsticks with maranara and a sugar-free raspberry lemonade icee from Target...)

ps - Don't take it personally that taco casserole didn't make my list, Mom...

Who wins?

Australia v. New Zealand

Best accent: Aussie (hands down)

Cuter boys: Aussie (hands down)

More things to do: Aussie

Cheapest: Aussie

Best cafes: New Zealand

Best mussels: New Zealand

Best city: Sydney (hands down)

Best landscape: tie

Better national anthem: New Zealand

Most beautiful overall: New Zealand

Funnier looking money: tie

Better weather: New Zealand

Best drivers: Australia

Best grammar: neither

Best rugby: NEW ZEALAND (hands down)

Best cricket: who cares?

Which am I most likely to visit on my reunion tour: New Zealand for the memories, Australia for all that I haven't seen...

Overall winner: is in the head of the writer (which will stay private, thank you very much...)

Done and done

And back to reality.

Our Aussie tour ends today.

Being on a Contiki tour allowed me to be devoid of any responsibility whatsoever. I didn't expect that upon booking, but was appreciative of it while I was there.

Each day we were told where to be and when to be there, where we could and couldn't eat, and what was or wasn't included. Buses picked us up and dropped us off at every stop. Our hotels and most meals were arranged. I really had to sit back and enjoy. Plus, being with 45 others who are in the same place in their lives as you was a treat as well.

During my last few days I spent time deep-sea diving in the Great Barrier Reef (which cost a fortune but was worth it), hiked and slept in the Australian rainforest (did you know Australia even had a rainforest? see picture above), and saw the only place in the world where two natural ecosystems (the reef and the rainforest) come together.

And then I said goodbye and went home.

Back to reality.

(and bills) :(

So much to do!

I LOVE Australia!

Since last time, I have met up with my tour group and started my trip up the east coast of Australia.

It is worth mentioning that this tour group makes the trip amazing. 45 others, just like me, who want to see Australia.

Since leaving Sydney I've seen incredible sights including the sun rising over the Pacific, held a koala, and today I became a surfer. I even got up for about 7 seconds on my last run. It was amazing.

Unfortunately, the trip is nearly devoid of good-looking blokes, as there are only 12 to the 30 sheilas on board. There are a couple, though...

We're partying like rock stars each night. Last night we went to the worst club as part of our whole group. Needless to say, two of my new, bestest girl friends and I took the party elsewhere, to a bar where there was noone. Before we knew it, the place was jamming, and we were to blame. :)

Oh. And did I mention that I now own TWO pairs of skinny jeans?

I pretty much feel like I'm 20 again. Which is ok.

(no, actually it's great...)

Things I know

1. I love to jaywalk.

2. Sydney is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL and amazing city I've ever been to. Ever.

(And I'm not usually impressed that easily.)

I want to come back very, very soon.

Maybe for a long, long time...

Lauren and Simon

Traveling is all about connections.

In my adventures so far, I have met the most amazing people who live all over the world. And I have met people who know people who live all over the world, so that even if I don't know them, my friends do. Like friends of a friend of a friend.

But it's still all about connections.

In Melbourne, Mary and I have been set up with Lauren and her husband Simon through my connection with Tera, my bestest Florida friend, who I know through traveling to Maine.

Lauren is an ex-pat from Merrett Island, Florida, where Tera is from too. Lauren headed to Australia for a holiday about three years ago and met her husband, Simon. They've been married since not too long after she arrived (good on you, Lauren!).

I got in touch with Lauren once we finalized our plans for coming to Melbourne, and she offered to take us around for some shopping. For her occupation, Lauren buys incredible clothes at cheap prices and re-sells them on Ebay. She is also looking into designing her own label very soon. She knows her shopping. So on Monday, she took us to her favorite part of town for shopping and we had a ball.

That evening, we met up with her and Simon for dinner. They took us to the most INCREDIBLE Italian restaurant for dinner. Best pizza I've ever had. The wine was incredible too - they sell it in a litre carafe for $12. We each had our own pizza and shared a litre and a half of red wine for less than $60AU (about $50US). Then we had the best gelati ever, and went to a bar to sit on comfy vintage couches while drinking (more) red wine and listening to Michael Jackson.

Simon and Lauren were great hosts, and it was a night I'll never forget.

Now, the moral of this story is that traveling is all about connections. Had we not met up with Lauren and Simon (through Tera, bless you...) my (as I can't speak for Mary) personal experience in Melbourne would have been mediocre. We would have walked around the city and seen the sights that we could on limited budget, transportation, and time. But instead, we could easily come back to Melbourne again with a new sense of understanding of more of the city because of the generosity of new friends.

Friends who, through connections, might someday have a place to stay with me, wherever I may be...

The land of OZ

(really, though, I am not sure how they got Oz out of Australia, but I've learned not to question these kinds of things...)

In Aussie, safe and sound.

The two words I'd use to describe Australia on first sight: big and brown.

New Zealand: vegetative. Australia: dry and dead.

Hot too. I prefer temperatures between 20-25(C), tomorrow it's supposed to be 39.

The hotel we're staying in is a bit dodgy, but they do have A/C, which I haven't seen since leaving America. In fact, to me, A/C in New Zealand means 'always cold.' But seeing a heating/cooling unit makes me feel a bit more civilized again.

This girl was like a giddy child once she had her Australian Open tickets in hand. I haven't squealed that much since, well... that's none of your business. But it's been awhile.

Oh, and no streets in Australia are named after Martin Luther King Jr. But happy MLK Jr. day anyway?

Enough about me!

Since I've been gone...

my dad got a new job (and now he has more than my mom and I, if that's possible...).

my little sister Sara got a rabbit.

my little brother Sam has gotten so tall!

Nikki has kept on keeping on in her (incredibly challenging) classroom (Go Nik!).

Tera and Zach just bought a FLASH new bed and celebrated a Gator win in the BCS.

my grandparents have migrated to Tucson once again.

my mom decided she wanted to live forever...

Kelli and Justin had a baby! Welcome, Corbin! (see picture above).

Jess and Ty had a baby too! Welcome Ella (and hello to big sister Addie).

the MOs have moved.

the Elders have stayed right where they are.

my brother Tyler started high school this fall!

my friend Jen has happily rekindled an old romance (and consequently has been opening up to her more conservative side...).

my 88-year old great grandmother tried to send me orange salad for Christmas (but customs ate it)!

Auntie Barb has officially given my portion of the beneficiary money to my cousin Ruby.

Grandpa and Marvel have continued charitable work for children.

Don and Jean became grandparents (congratulations!).

Jen and Pete went to London and back.

my friend Ben and I talk more.

my teacher friends and I talk less (I miss you guys!). :(

Dad and Lisa are celebrating their 11th year together!

my cousin Ryan moved all the way across the country.

my cousin Adam has stayed right where he is (good on you, Adam!)

--------------

So, go on... Live your lives! Keep on keepin' on!

(just keep me posted?)

Hawks RULE

True story:

While out shopping yesterday I went to a very cool vintage store that I frequent quite often. The FIRST thing I spotted on sale was an old vintage Iowa State University hat (which made me squeal with delight, literally, out loud). This thing was probably circa 1983. And I wondered who went all the way to America in 1983 to buy an Iowa State University hat only to give it to a vintage shop 23 years later.

And then I thought, 'Well, anyone. Who wants an Iowa State University hat?'

The best week?

And as if Polynesian mass wasn't great enough...

It started the Tuesday night after Christmas when I went to the Western Springs speedway just up the road from my house with my flatmate Ian and his buddy (our buddy) Anton. Anton is a cool, cool guy that I've known since I moved in, and he's really fun to hang out with. Anton's cousin was one of the racers, and it was so cool to be there to cheer him on. There were some incredible American racers too, which was fun for me to cheer for. But the coolest part was when Anton said to Ian, "There's Scott's parents" and by Scott's parents he really meant Scott Dixon, the Indy car racer who came in third this year at the 500 (which I was at). He's a Kiwi and one of Anton's good friends. By the end of the night I had actually spoken to them. Which was the coolest. Because I cheered for that Kiwi at the Indy this year...

The next day I met one of Ian and Anton's other friends, Norm. Norm owns a gym here in Auckland and is a pretty damn cool. He knows about everyone in the city, and is very fun to hang out with. He and Anton ride Harleys. Very cool Harleys. They wanted to take Sheen and I on the Harleys, to which we politely obliged. We got to take an hour long ride through Auckland, over the Harbor Bridge, and along the coast line on the back of Anton and Norm's very, very cool Harley bikes. It was breathtaking and amazing fun. Sheena's biker name is Doris. I liked Dorothy, but decided on Gladys instead.

On Saturday before New Years I ate at Orbit restaurant which is on the top level of the Sky Tower. The restaurant rotates, and the 360 view of Auckland as the sun went down was more incredible than I could imagine. I went with Ian's other really cool friend Hamish and his two (very fun) American friends Marty and Sarah, who were in on holiday. We spoke Yankee for a whole night and it was glorious.

New Year's Eve was fabulous. I had to work that night (as someone had to be responsible for feeding and fueling the flash and posh of Ponsonby). But the atmosphere at the restaurant was incredible, and I was so glad that I was there. At midnight, I kissed all of my gay coworkers and I slipped out to catch the fireworks that go off at the Skytower, as SPQR has a fine panoramic view of the city downtown. It was magical. Then, I drank and drank and drank (success) and tried to serve drinks (I failed) and danced and danced with customers (success!). But, even better than that, was the really good looking Kiwi guy who asked me for my phone number...

The week after New Years, Norm was house-sitting for the man who owns the gym that he owns. He invited us (me, my three flatties, Anton, and another friend Troy) over to play tennis on the private courts and swim in the private pool all week. We politely obliged. We played tennis all week at the oldest, most beautiful, gigantic, flash house I have ever seen (imagine an 1860's, deep south plantation home). We had spas in the hot tub, followed by dips in the pool, and terrific bbqs with fish and steak. Norm was an incredible host to all of us (and will be receiving a bottle of very expensive champagne from me for his efforts).

To end the week, Friday the 5th was the opening night for the Cirque de Soliel show, Varekai, in Auckland. Sheena and I got last-minute (and I mean LAST MINUTE) tickets that we bought from Norm, who mentioned he had extras from his gym. But what was cooler is that he had tickets to the cast after party as well. So Norm, his friend Adam, Sheena and I all hob-knobbed (well, Sheena and I stood around and gawked, Norm knew everyone) with some of Auckland's finest, about 1000 of them, and the performers after the show. It was a rockin' late-night party that I'll never forget (thanks to the one blurry picture of Sheena and I that turned out, see above).

But as all good things do, the awesomeness had to come to an end. All of my flatties are back to work this week, and I am back to researching jobs online. It's raining everyday in Auckland, and life has gone on as usual. But two weeks of amazing times I will never forget put a big smile on my face each night as I go to bed...

Pissed off

I'm grumpy today.

It's raining.

And you'd think I'd be happy that I am not working.

But I'm bored.

And you'd think I'd be happy because my FBI background check came back.

But I'm not.

Because after 17 weeks of waiting, I received the same fingerprint card that I sent in. Only it was stamped 'No arrest record' on the back.

Well DUH.

17 weeks for that?

Federal Bureau of Idiots.

Aussie Holiday

For my Auntie, who wants an itinerary for my trip to Australia

(and we always listens to our Auntie)...

Sunday, 14 Jan - Leave AKL 8:30 a.m., Arrive MEL 10:20 a.m.

Spend time in Melbourne shopping, enjoying the sights, out in the nightlife, and catching up with new friends...

Tuesday, 16 Jan - Attend Australian open in Melbourne

Wednesday, 17 Jan - Leave MEL 9:30 a.m., Arrive SYD 10:50 a.m.

**Spend time with my FAVORITE SPQR gay waiter, Aaron, who happens to be (incredibly HOT) living in Sydney to persue his acting career...

Thursday, 18 Jan - Begin tour of East coast of Australia with the Contiki tour group. For a detailed, day-by-day account of where we'll be and what we'll be doing, click here:

http://www.contiki.com/en-NZ/Tours/Australia/Beaches.and.Reefs/Itinerary.htm

Fri, 2 Feb - Leave Cairns 11 p.m., ARRIVE AKL 6:45 a.m. on Sat, 3 Feb.

The New Year

Hmm... let's see what it brings.

Do you remember when you were in college and people would ask you 'What are you going to do when you graduate?" And if you were like me, you were really annoyed at that question because you really didn't know for sure.

Sometimes I feel like that here as well. At home, at work, with friends...
"So, how long have you been here?" (Although I do know the answer to that question...)
"How long are you staying?"
"Do you like it here?" (A pretty broad question)
"What are you going go to do next?

And I know that many of you don't know what I am going to do because I haven't told you yet. So, in case you are wondering what my new year will bring, it's a matter of choice.

As I mentioned before, I am not going to stay for whole year of teaching.

In the past three months I have been offered two jobs through my hiring agency and have been informally encouraged to apply for an open position by the principal at Richmond Road for the 2007 year. For me, though, teaching here for a year is something that I have a hard time committing to. It's just not the right fit for me, and especially not right now. Each day I teach makes me excited to teach in a full classroom again. Just not here, and just not right now.

I looked into staying through one term of full-time teaching this year (commencing in February 2007 and lasting 10 weeks) so that I could immerse myself in a full classroom and have the experience of learning the curriculum, but every job I applied for (33) needed long-term relievers for the entire year, not one term.

I have applied (and am continuing to apply) for teaching jobs in Europe which will start next fall. I have registered my name and information with two highly recommended overseas teacher staffing services. I have also directly applied to schools including The American School in London and The American School in Switzerland. And although I haven't yet, I am seriously considering applying at some American schools (in America) for more unique experiences closer to home. Either way, my current overseas experience paired with two years of classroom work and excellent recommendations (thanks Wendy, Tamara, and Randy!) make me feel very qualified and confident for any job I apply for.

Because I'll have about 7 months to continue to apply and prepare for a teaching job, I have the opportunity and time to leave for a few months to try something else abroad. So, just for fun and giggles, I have applied with Imperial Nannies, which is a high-profile company out of England that places nannies with families all over the world. Again, highly qualified and available immediately, and it pays EXTREMELY well. The only downfall is that I'd only be available for about 5-6 months, which might be too short of a time to suit many families.

Now, in the past, I would have called and called and called the nanny service to find out the status of my file, and would be trying to work my way into a family with the utmost urgency. But this time, I'm sitting back. To be honest, completely honest, I LOVE living in Auckland right now. I'm not going to sweat staying in New Zealand for the next few months, and I would actually welcome the opportunity to do that as much as I would to leave and see more of the world. I LOVE relieving, as the money and experiences are GREAT, and I know I'll have plenty of work on a daily basis. I love, love, love my flatties and my house, I'm making incredible friends and connections, and doing the most amazing things that I could have never dreamed of.

I feel very fortunate that EITHER staying or leaving is going to be a win-win, excellent opportunity for me to have amazing personal experiences as well as the chance to learn and grow professionally in educational, child-filled settings. Because don't both support my entire reason for coming this far in the first place?

New year, schmew year. Bring it on.

A Kiwi Christmas

Christmas here is weird. Er, I mean different...

For starters, it's warm.

Nobody puts lights on their houses.

TV programming has NO commercials (on any station - it's not allowed).

They set fire to the christmas pudding.

When you sit down at the table your plate has a Christmas cracker (not an eating cracker, but a toy cracker present). Before eating, everyone joins hands and pops thier Christmas cracker to reveal a surprise inside. Mine had glue, which I traded for Damien's tweezers.

Boxing Day (the 26th) is a 'national statutory holiday', meaning that everyone doesn't work. And if you do, you get paid extra. Because it's a national statutory holiday.

Oh, and I think the queen needs a new stylist. During this year's Christmas message, she was wearing a lime green suit.

Happy Easter.

Merry Christmas to all of my friends and family!

I truly, truly hope you are all enjoying every minute
of the food, festivities, and family.

I am spending the holiday with Mary at her home. We
cooked dinner and caught up last night on Christmas
Eve, and today on Christmas day we're going to treat
ourselves to Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy, which I have
downloaded on my laptop. God bless I-tunes.

When Christmas Eve turned into Christmas in New Zealand, Mary and I were at mass like good little
girls. It was great. Not great in a spiritual way,
but in a way that one can only experience when being
exposed to new cultures.

Let's just say that if you really want to be serious
about the reason for the season, don't go to Christmas
Eve mass in New Zealand with Mary and I. It turns out
that we can't help ourselves when we're in situations
that make us laugh uncontrollably.

Mass was great. Full of memorable moments...

My favorite part wasn't when we walked in as two of
the only 12 white people in the place. It was a
variable Polynesian party with elaborate dress. Note
to self: next year, don't wear jeans to the Polynesian
party...

My favorite part wasn't the odd spelling of the night:
nowell. Which sounds phonetically correct, but looks
odd on the big projector. Nowell, nowell, nowell,
nowell, born is the king of Israel.

My favorite part of the night definitely wasn't when
they sang Away in a Manger, as the words were right,
but the song was wrong. We almost took the mic and
tried on our own, except if you've seen the genetic
size of a Polynesian, you'd understand why we chose
otherwise.

My favorite part of the night wasn't even the priest,
who was at least 137 years old. We had trouble
understanding him, and thought maybe his mouth was
full of cotton or he had drunk too much communion wine
earlier in the day. Nor did we find relevance in most
of what he was saying. This next part was (NO JOKE)
part of the homily, and worth repeating as best as I
can remember (and if you don't believe me, please,
please confirm with Mary...):
"...I know many of you are reminded of the old
American story. [long pause] Once there was a drunk
man and a little boy. They were both at a restaurant.
[pause] The little boy couldn't stop staring at the
man, which was an embarrassment to his parents. He
was drawn to the [pause] flotsam and jetsam of this
[long pause] human existence. [pause] That's what
it's like between us and Jesus, as we are drawn to
him..."
And as I turned to Mary and said "did he just compare
Jesus to a drunk?" she was already looking at me with
disbelief.

My FAVORITE part was the at beginning.

After walking in to 'O Come All Ye Faithful' the
priest took a large breath and said (with many
pauses), "May the grace of the Lord be with you. We
welcome you on this glorious Easter morning..."

Merry Christmas.

The last few days...

As the end of the NZ school year drew to a close this week, I cherished my final moments in the schools. And because each moment is such a fun experience, I want to share it with people who can identify what I am doing, and how I'm doing it.

Tuesday 12 December:
Receive the following text (yes, text, on my cell phone). 'W - can you work for Mareta tomorrow? -D' (where W = Wendy, Mareta = Y1 teacher at Richmond Road, and D = Donal, the deputy principal here). I replied that I would be glad to. This is how Donal and I communicate for EVERY relief job I do. Via text message.

Wednesday 13 December:
Show up at Richmond Road early (like I always do). While resting in the lounge before starting, I speak with Di, the teacher who will be in the room next to me, and I casually say, 'Di! Wanna watch a movie this afternoon?' Di agrees, and it's a plan. Except, just then, Mareta shows up. And I'm supposed to be Mareta. (Flashback to one week earlier when Donal asked me to relieve for Mareta and when I showed up, Mareta was already here). Deja-vu. Fortunately, though, Di isn't feeling well and opts to go home so that I can stay. But before she leaves, she hands me two worksheets to fill the first and second blocks. Cool. A little later I casually say to Mareta that I had mentioned to Di about watching a movie in the afternoon, and Mareta replied (no joke) 'Yeah! Of course! We watch movies every afternoon for the last two weeks of school.' I find out that they have watched The Lion King and The Sound of Music, as well as many Warner Brothers cartoon DVDs. ('Copyright law? What's a copyright law?)

Thursday 14 December:
Di is keen knowing that I need some extra cash, and was willing to stay home sick an extra day, so I was her again. There was supposed to be an assembly for the first block and then the students and I were to play Chritsmas bingo for the second block, followed by a movie (shocker) in the afternoon. (I rented the Grinch). But instead, the assembly took 3 hours instead of 1.5. It was the Year 6 graduation, and all four ropu (sections), French, Maori, Samoan, and Mainstream had dances and songs planned. Luckily, the assembly was broken up in the middle by morning tea, but as you can imagine, the kids (and I) were really bored after the first hour of the first block. So, the assembly was rough, trying to keep kids seated and quiet, and I being one of the only teachers trying to do so (shocker).
To make the morning even, err... more interesting, the third ropu of year 6 students had one student who was so emotional about graduation that she started crying. Not to be overdone, the next student cried, and then every student afterward. The effect was contagious, and within 5 minutes most of the school was in tears. It was dramatic and very over the top, and annoying after about 5 minutes. So, when I got all of my kids back to the room, 63% of them were crying. For no reason. Arrgh.
We never got to Christmas bingo, but we sure as heck watched The Grinch!

Wednesday 20 December:
I head to school on this morning because it's was last day of term. I haven't relieved at all this week, with it being the last three days, but I wanted to thank the kiddos for all of the learning they have allowed me to do while teaching them. Plus, I need to pick up The Grinch to return to the video store. When I arrive, my ropu of kiddos are in an assembly. I didn't realize that it was a half-day, and so coming at 12 I missed my opportunity to speak to the kids all together, as they left immediately after the assembly. I still got plenty of hugs, though, which was nice. I was also able to say goodbye to my favorite teaching friends, who I'll likely see again in February. Plus, the principal, who recently informally asked me to stay around and teach full-time next year, offered me a part-time position for as many months as I want (as she knows I have no intention of staying for a year) in February if I'm still around.

But the shocker was the presents that the parents brought the kids. It was almost seemingly mandatory to bring the teacher something. And the number one gift? Bottles and bottles and bottles of wine. Which was promptly opened once the kids were gone. Maybe even a bit before...

It's vacation time!

Odd facts from abroad

1.
If you're a Pulp Fiction fan, you'll be glad to know, that in spite of the use of the metric system in this country, a quarter pounder with cheese is still called a quarter pounder with cheese. Although, in the famous words of John Travolta, I am not sure many people realize what a quarter pounder really is. Technically they should call it a 'tenth of a kilogramer'

2.
Have you ever received one of those e-mails that has odd facts about the world? Well, in alignment with popular myth, toilets in the southern hemisphere DO flush the opposite direction. I remember checking on that promptly upon arrival in Fiji.
Also, the toilet bowl itself is nearly empty. Not like in the states. Here, there's a cup, maybe two, of water in the bottom. I guess water conservation or something like that? When I mentioned the difference to Diane, she replied, "Yeah, your toilets in the States are like swimming pools!" She's seriously right.
Lastly, the toilet itself has two buttons to flush. One is a continuous flush, and when pushed, will flush as long as you're holding it down. The other is a regular flush. Kiwis are apparently serious about their waste removal choices.

3.
As you've heard me say before, shoes are not required most places around here. I am inferring that it's kind of a trend from Maori culture, in which you are not allowed to enter a Maori residence with your shoes on. But Maori and whites alike tend to walk anywhere and everywhere without shoes. Now, most people wear shoes, this isn't an uncivilized country or anything, but it never fails that when I am at Foodtown, there is ALWAYS someone without shoes just walking around. And many of the kids at school never came with shoes. It's just perfectly acceptable. And perfectly disgusting. Like the other day when I was at the food court at the mall and people weren't wearing shoes. Uh, hello! That's not ok.

4.
Instead of saying 'How are you doing?' people say 'How are you going?', to which I always want to say, 'On foot,' or 'By catching the bus.' Because isn't that really what they're asking?

5.
They don't have Jell-o. Well, they do, but they call it Jelly.
Bacon here is actually ham. Real bacon is labeled 'streaky bacon' at the store (at first, I thought Ian was being a jerk by calling American bacon 'streaky').

6.
Kiwi pronunciation of the year: aluminum
American: uh-LOO-min-um
New Zealand: al-you-MIN-ee-yum

And when someone says gare-aj they are really trying to say garage.

7.
When I want to make the guy at the food shop mad, I say I'll have my food 'to-go' instead of take-away. Or I ask for my coffee with 'skim' instead of 'trim'. They've got no clue what I'm saying, and I laugh secretly to myself as I exit...

Teaching a cultural lesson

I've shared with you how I love doing the 3 comment / 2 question letter with kiddos whenever I can. It's now a staple in my day with kids 9 and older. I've done it 5 times, and I am starting to be able to predict the questions that the kids will have.

it is interesting how the questions and comments vary from the kids aged 9 to the kids aged 11. I had the 11 year olds (Year 6, we'd call the 5th graders) this week, and my lesson went according to plan. Their letters were VERY well written (I only asked for 5 sentences, for God's sake, they better have been written well). They were very interesting to read, more interesting than the younger kids' were. They had good grammar and thoughtful insights. Mostly.

Kids at this age have a natural tendency to want to be funny. Or repeat what they've heard without understanding why. It's how they learn about the world. Often they listen to it from their parents, then try it out their opinions on their friends (or substitute teachers) to cull out what is real and what is not. Unfortunately, though, they can be a bit offensive, insensitive, and opinionated about things in which they have little conceptual understanding.

So today, instead of sharing the lists of comments and questions, I'd instead like to share a few answers I shared to the questions they asked in their letters, and how I was (hopefully) able to change a few opinions.

1. "No. To be honest, I really don't care for President Bush. I did not vote for him, and I wouldn't vote for him. But, I have to respect him as my leader, because he has a really big job to do. It's very much how many of your parents do not agree with Helen Clark or many of the things she does, but they still have to respect her, as she is the Prime Minister. Really, no politician EVER has 100% of public support, and he/she has to do the best job possible, usually against all odds and opinions. So please keep that in mind before you speak poorly of a public official, of any country, in the future."

2. 'John, I know you were trying to be funny when you used the word 'kamakazied' to describe the fall of the Twin Towers, but I want you to really think about that. Many thousands of people died when the Twin Towers fell, and I doubt that any of their families would consider kamakazie to be an appropriate word for the destruction of buildings and lives that took place. I was not personally affected by the event, but as an American, or as a human for that matter, I was hurt that people would ever think taking down two buildings full of innocent people would be the answer to a solution, and I think the event deserves a little more of your respect than using the word 'kamakazie.' Please be more considerate in the future."

3. "Alice, you are very opinionated, and I respect that from you. I think it's interesting that you wrote 'I don't think it's America's fault, I think it's George Bush's fault.' You seem to be very knowledgeable about the world and what is going on. But I would say to you that in every case, when a big country goes in to help a smaller country, their intentions are always the best. But, that role of helper is a complicated one, and your efforts do not always go as planned. Nobody, not even George Bush, wants lives to be lost, but at the cost of winning something greater, and potentially making the world a better place, a good try is necessary. Thank you for your thinking, though, you obviously are a well thought out individual. Nice work."

4. "Yes! I DO love Reese's Pieces!"

5. "Felix, I am barely going to waste my breath on your paper. Your fast food restaurants in New Zealand have picture menus on them. It has NOTHING to do with how stupid people are. It has to do with advertising and marketing, and helps people who speak different languages understand what they might be looking for. And to be honest, I have been in Auckland long enough to see that there are just as many obese people here, probably more. The only reason it seems like Americans are fatter is because there are more of us to fill that role. But I see heaps of children each day after schools at the dairy and chippie shops buying lollies and pies to eat as an after school snack, which is NOT something that happens in America. Please think more carefully about your own environment before you try to be the joker and offend mine." (In response to the following comment: 'In America there are lots of big, fat people and the menus for some fast food places have pictures because heaps of people are stupid and cant read. And George Bush is stupid and will blow up the world...')

6. "No, we don't paint the inside of ketchup bottles red so that people think they're full all of the time (laughing). But we do have 57 varieties of Heinz ketchup. Can you beat that?"

My favorite line of the day:
My sister wants to go to America because she says she wants to meet Avril Lavigne. I think even if she did go there she probably wouldn't know where Avril Lavigne was.

Please tell me I'm making a difference here?

The Gay-mobile

(but don't tell Christian I called it that...)

He (Christian) is one of my favorite friends at work. He's cute, Danish, and gay (obviously, right?). He has the most adorable little accent, and he is a cutie-patootie.

Christian drives a little 'Barbie' car. It's a little red convertible, tiny, cute, gay. Perfect for the likes of Christian. His partner bought it for him, so if you can imagine Christian being the 'trophy wife' for his partner, you can imagine the car. Only, in a tribute to an old friend, I call it the 'Micro Machine' instead. (The car answers to both). It's pretty cool.

Christian headed to London a few weeks ago. As we were working together one night right before he left I said, "Christian, are you going to miss the Barbie car?"

Christian (in his cute, gay, Danish voice) replied,"Oh Wendy, why don't you drive it while I'm gone? Last time I went away for three weeks it wouldn't start when I returned."

So I drove the gay-mobile, Micro Machine, Barbie car for three weeks.

Now, with experience I can FINALLY say that driving on the left side of the road is not only not right... it's wrong. I haven't crashed yet (although I have hit a few curbs), but it's hard to adjust to driving on the wrong side of the car AND road. I always reach to the wrong side for my seatbelt. Plus, the turn signal and windshield wiper switches are switched, so I am always cleaning the windshield when I want to turn left.

My tip for new drivers: just watch the car in front of you and hope they're going to the same place as you want to go.

But it's safe to say that I am now, finally a New Zealand driver.

Thanks, Christian.

A day in the life...

...of an American teacher in New Zealand.

I teach, mostly every day, and I work as a waitress at night. It's nothing new. It's a busy job to do both, and very tiring, but I do get to see and do a lot because of my work. So, all and all, I don't mind.

I LOVE relieving. I mean I LOVE it. I can't think of a better way to be exposed to heaps of different schools, classrooms, and learning styles, all while challenging myself in the effort to find my way through a day full of kids who are completely different than I am. The pay is INCREDIBLE (better than in the States, even after the exchange rate), and the hours are flexible. I can take a day off whenever I want (which I never actually do).

Teaching itself is different here, for sure. After four weeks of relieving on and off on a near-daily basis, here are my initial impressions:

*Schools, and the kids in them, are (surprise!) very laid back. The kids' lack of discipline is a compliment to the parenting style of a laid back society. And for Miss Foreman, control freak extraordinaire, some days get pretty rough (learning, learning learning...).

*Speaking of... I have yet to be called Miss Foreman in any classroom. It's straight up Wendy each day.

*Kids don't have to wear shoes and that's o.k. (shocker, right?).

*Class sizes are far too large (but I guess that's nothing new either).

*The teacher's lounges are all equipped with a 3X2 box of boiling hot water mounted to the wall for morning tea time. Also, mugs, spoons, milk, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, and often biscuits are provided as well. Daily. At all times.

*Kids in some schools are moved around and shifted to different grades during the year. This is part of the domino effect of making room for the new 5 year-olds in the Year 1 rooms who start on the day they turn 5.

*It's o.k. for children to say the following words out loud: damn, damn it, damned, and hell.

*When the bell rings for playtime to end, teachers usually sit for 4 or 5 (sometimes up to 10) more minutes in the lounge while students line up outside.

*Schools don't use textbooks. Teachers have curriculum guides with links for activities, but most of the lessons come from the teacher and other resources (researched by teachers). So it's a much more involved process for teachers, and more work as well, in my opinion.

*Kids don't go elsewhere for special classes. There's no art teacher, no PE teacher, no media teacher, and no music teacher. It's all taught in the classroom, by the classroom teacher.

*The school day is only 6 hours long, with only 4 hours of actual teaching. The other 2 hours is spent at lunch, play, morning tea, roll taking, or daily fitness.

*Teachers don't generally leave lesson plans for relievers. One day, my lesson plan said 'Have a great day!'

Each day I take a set of lessons to each classroom. I have books from the library paired with activities for all grades. I am a lesson recycler, and have actually been teaching for the last two months with a recycled set of about 15 lessons. It's amazing what you can do with chalk, m&m's, and the American flag. Again and again and again.

Even trickier still is the fact that Richmond Road has four units of students. One unit speaks and learns in French, one in Maori, one in Samoan, and one in English. I have had a chance to work with all age levels in all of the units. Although I sometimes don't agree with the teaching practices and philosophies in these units, it has been amazing to work so closely with such unique cultures. And I can now say hello in two new languages that most people don't know.

I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to be needed almost daily in the same school as I get to know the kids, the teachers, and the routines (which is nice when nobody tells you what in the world is going on). And, since my school is in my neighborhood, I even get kiddos at the store who are able to say hello and call me by name. Which is almost like being at home at a Warrior game. Except without the football and all.

Now, having said all of that, I have a confession to make...

I have made a decision not to teach for a full year in New Zealand as I had originally expected.

But you'll have to wait until another e-mail for more details on that.

Well, I've gotta go. The bell to end playtime rang 8 minutes ago, and I still need to make a cup of coffee before heading to class. There's a line of teachers at the water box, so I've got to get my place...