LAX

LAX

My first impressions of America
by Wendy, ex-pat and semi-experienced world traveler
(written in order)

1. I forgot that in some countries, policemen wear guns.

2. What a beautiful flag!

3. Muy bien, gracias. Y tu?

4. Listen, you don't have to be so rude.

5. Oh! A hummer!

6. Everyone is so... American.

7. I'm so... American. I sound just like everyone else here...

8. No Cinnabon in this terminal? Damnit!

9. Everything is seemingly half-price!

10. Oh! Another hummer!

11. That IS a lot of water in the toilet bowl.

12. Oh! USA Today!

13. Peanut butter M&Ms. Mmmmmm...

14. Look. A hummer.

15. A man spanked his young child (very hard) and then said to him 'You don't hit.' (um, hello?)

16. The man next to me smells really bad.

17. I smell really bad.

18. (and last, but not least) The following announcment overhead, spoken in a genuine Bob Barker-type voice:

Katherine Emery! Katherine Emery! Please head back down to Terminal A where you LEFT your LUGGAGE. Katherine Emery! Come on DOWN to collect the luggage that YOU left in Ter-min-al A!!!!

(the second time he called it out, he slipped a couple of 'yo's in it, which put the whole of gate 4B in stitches!)