Cherubs

Here's the hot-off-the-press, first look at my half of Nagoya International School's class of 2019. An 'interesting' bunch.

You know, for all it's worth, I am looking forward to a year of challenges that will help me redefine my teaching in ways that will only propel me (and my students) forward.

Plus, there's only 12 of them. Really, how bad could that be?

;

Interesting

To say that I have a completely different class of learners this year (compared to the cherubs I had the privilege of teaching last year) would be the understatement of the century.

But, in an effort to follow my new routine of 'no criticism, no complaining, no condemning' as well as 'positive mental attitude', I will try to explain my situation this year, to you, as light-heartedly as possible.

My new class is very interesting.

I don't think they'd be quite so 'interesting' if I hadn't have had a class of absolute angels last year. Smart, kind, caring, friendly angels. Angels whose new teachers (and anyone else who is fortunate enough to walk in to the third grade class during work times) say nothing but good things about what 'thoughtful readers', 'smart kids' and 'independent workers' they are (thank you very much to the EXCELLENT teaching they had last year, if it may be mentioned here!)

My new class is just so interesting.

I don't think they'd be quite so 'interesting' if I hadn't have been spoiled last year wtih kids who really listened, who worked hard, who followed the rules, and who had great respect for their teacher (thank you very much to the EXCELLENT teaching and modeling they had last year, if it may be mentioned here!).

So this year, I am just 'lucky' enough to have kids who are 'interesting'. There is really no other way to describe it.

And so, I hope that I have accurately conveyed to you, without uttering a single word of negativity, just now 'nice' my class this year really is...

EXTRA, EXTRA!!

Big news of the day: Gary eats Indian food (and likes it!)...

Tonight, at approximately 6:45pm (JST), Gary Thornton of Ankeny, Iowa, tried Indian food for the first time. Thornton, 49, had always proclaimed himself a 'meat and potatoes' kind of guy, preferring any table with salt and pepper and a diet Pepsi.

Tonight, in an unexpected turn, though, Thornton was asked to try Indian food, and, after trying it, with little hesitation, found it to be more delicious than he had ever imagined. After tasting the third course, Indian-styled ice cream called Kulfee, Thornton gladly exclaimed 'there's nothing tonight that hasn't been right on. This stuff is good.' and was overheard discussing finding Indian restaurants with his wife Lynne, 44.

Some of the foods eaten by Mr. Thornton at the time of this publishing:

Samosas
Vegetable Pakura
Papad
Tandori Chicken
Chicken Masala Curry
Garlic Naan
Kulfee

Some Random Thoughts from Japan

By Lynne Thornton, guest blogger

Wendy is letting me a “guest writer” on her blog while we are in Japan. I have never done this before and I can only hope that you will enjoy reading this so here goes.

Japan is VERY hot in August. Wendy had warned us of this but it was really the only time that worked for all of us to visit. For those of you that know me well, I don’t do heat well at all. We have been out walking in it for 5 days now pretty much from sunrise to sunset and it has been so great, we have seen so much. Wendy has been an amazing tour guide. I definitely would not want to be here on my own trying to get everywhere that she has taken us.

One of the things that I knew I was going to miss when we came to Japan were the Olympics. I really enjoy watching the Olympics and I set up the DVR at home so that I could watch them when I get home. Wendy knows how the Gymnastic team did but I have asked her not to tell me. I have seen Michael Phelps a couple of times on Japanese TV with Japanese announcers (which is funny at first and then VERY irritating). When we were in Hiroshima & Tokoyo, we were able to watch LIVE Olympics but it was all Japan participants (who knew there could be so many live Judo & Ju-jitsu matches)? I am truly looking forward to coming home and watching the Olympics two weeks late with English speaking announcers.

If you come to Japan, try not to come during their ‘holiday”. This is when a lot of the businesses close down and everyone does the stuff that WE are trying to do. We went to Disney Sea yesterday in Tokyo and there were so many people. We got there at 10am and left at 9pm and rode only 4 rides because of the lines. It was crazy. BUT…at least I am not a Disney virgin any more. Yes, it is true, at the ripe old age of 44, I have made my first trip to Disney!!!!!

Japanese woman are very beautiful AND they don’t sweat (did I mention it is HOT in Japan)??? Yesterday I was watching them in line and none of them were sweating – their hair was perfect, their face was perfect, just absolutely beautiful woman. The craziest part of this is that even in this heat, some woman wear long pants and long gloves to protect themselves from the sun. I guess this is how they stay looking so young for so long.

My last random thought is going to be about Wendy. She is not Japanese but she IS very beautiful. I have been amazed this week at how fluently she has mastered the Japanese language and culture. She has been a terrific host and an absolute perfect tour guide. Yes, there have been some issues along the way, not in her control, but it has been a wonderful week. Wendy and I can get on each others nerves when we are together for a long period of time but we always end of getting through it – we just try and leave each other alone for awhile which is what we ended up doing today. Gary and I took off on an adventure on our own to Fuji while Wendy came back to Nagoya. This gave Gary and I some alone time and it gave Wendy a chance to have her apartment to herself for a few hours without having to keep us busy. It also gave Gary and I a chance to see what we have learned (and retained) from Wendy over the past week of how to get around Japan. I will always remember the look on Wendy’s face when we made it back to her apartment. She was amazed that we had done so well. (THANK YOU Wendy for an incredible time in Japan.) Someday I hope that she will be blessed with a daughter and my greatest hope for her is that she will have a great relationship with her and she will then be able to completely understand the pride of watching your baby girl turn into such a beautiful woman before your eyes. Wendy, you continue to amaze me and I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I Love You.

Our Diet

Two incredibly picky eaters: Lynne and Gary. I promise that I haven't starved them, seriously. But, it's just that they won't eat anything I give them.

Ok, well, Lynne isn't SO bad, but Gary? Lost cause...

Our diet this week has consisted of mainly the following:

Flavored pretzels
Kit-kats
Any ice cream
Diet Coke
Mc Donalds
Donuts
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Water

So, when Mom and Gary come home 15 pounds lighter, no one will wonder why...

Second verse, same as the first

(Mom and Gary do Japan: Day 2)

An early wakening took us on a long walk to see my school, and back home for showers and a delicious breakfast of omelets and fresh fruit salad. Still 640 degrees in my apartment, Gary and Mom found the positive in my excellent showering facilities and my delicious breakfast-making skills.

And then we left the house.

The cab ride was uneventful, and the first train ride too. But, I knew the day was going to be disaster when Mom said, 'So, where do we change our money at?'

Uh... yeah. Of all the things that I FORGOT to tell Mom and Gary to do (and of all the things that I take advantage of knowing as a seasoned traveler) is that if you don't know much about your country, just to be safe, you always exchange some or all of your money at the airport. Japan is a perfect example of why to do this, as we could not find a money exchange place anywhere between my house and the most major train station in Nagoya. Which effectively put my parents on a train, about to travel halfway across Japan, without a spendable cent in their pockets.

This led to an uncomfortable discussion between Gary and myself and the Shinkansen ticket seller that went something like this:

Train guy: (in Japanese): There is a money exchange place somewhere nearby.
Gary (at the same time): Is there a place nearby?
Wendy (angrily trying to keep her calm, and not being able to believe that Gary had forgotten the getting-lost-debacle from the previous night, and remembering that the tickets we have just purchased leave in 22 minutes): Do you know how to get us there? Are you going to lead us?

(later I apologized)

As in any problem solving situation, the facts were reconsidered, plans b and c were made, and the money problem was (semi-) solved.

But then...

As we got into the train station to transfer Mom and Gary's Japan Rail Pass vouchers into Rail Pass tickets (which lets them travel throughout the country for free, and is something I'm not able to get, nor do I know much about), the two of them were dragged out of the ticket purchasing line and taken to the Rail Pass transfer line. I waited in the purchase line still, hoping they would complete the transfer before it was my turn to buy the tickets, but no luck. And then, of course, as soon as I got to the window and was told to step back in line until my parents, with their passes, were also there, they finished their pass exchange, and came on over. To the back of the line we went.

Then....

When we got to the counter, we realized that Mom and Gary's rail pass did not allow for us to take the most direct train for our three-hour ride to Hiroshima, but that instead, we would be required to switch one time. Which wouldn't have been a problem if you could read the bloody timetable. Which, of course, was in Japanese. So, back to the help desk for a transfer question which was answered by two good-looking Japanese men whose only faults were making me speak Japanese for half of the conversation before admitting that they spoke English. Jerks.

The first train was easy and effortless and we landed at our transfer station right on time.

But then...

Because of the nature of our tickets, the second train ride was to be non-reserved seats, which means everyone and their mothers crams into the first three cars (so pray to God that you get a seat). I thought I was clever to find the shortest line possible to stand in, assuring we'd get a seat, which we did, until I realized that there was a reason that the line for car 2 was quite short. And, so, for the rest of the 90 minute ride to Hiroshima, we sat in a car full of sick, smelly, Japanese smokers (and one crying baby who obviously wasn't a smoker either). Needless to say, that train ride was not as enjoyable.

Other memorable highlights of the day:

Planning our whole day around the baseball game in the evening, only to be dressed and walking out the door when we realized that the game was not for tonight, but tomorrow night.

Reading brochures during dinner and finding out that one of the biggest fireworks displays in all of the country is set to go off in two days, one day after we leave.

-----

The moral of the story: sometimes it's just best to not leave the house.

Mom and Gary's Big Adventure

(an adventurous fiasco from day 1)

I was really excited for Mom and Gary to visit Japan. Until they got here. You see, I realized, as soon as they arrived, that I don't know nearly enough about this country to get myself, let alone them, around safely and efficiently.

Thus, the fiasco began at landing time, 8:00pm (Nagoya Central Time).

1. On the way home from the airport, the navigation system that I was using fell out of my hands, and (which we didn't know until later) the cd (that guides via satellite) became dislodged. So, as we were getting ready to merge from one highway to the next, the entire system stopped working.

(Side note - I really am not kidding when I say that you can't just 'take a wrong turn' or 'get lost' in Japan. The end result would be to be lost off o the planet forever. Only this time, It was going to be myself and my parents to never be heard from again...)

In a series of miscalculated judgement errors, I, at that time, took two wrong turns. Panicked and nearly crying, I called my friend Daniel (the master of Japan) who effortlessly led us home. If you've ever seen Apollo 13, it was like trying to get to Earth from the Moon with no computer to guide me. Daniel was my steely-eyed missile man.

2. When we got to my apartment, Gary immediately fell into a grate that was about 2 feet deep. You see, these large canal-like grates are built between the building and the parking lot to collect rain water during storms. In most places* they are not covered with metal bars, but are merely large, cement holes. Not only did he scrape his leg and elbow and twist his foot, he hit his head and mouth on the side of the cement. I mean, I guess I hadn't thought to say "Hey Gary, watch out for that really deep and large and dangerous and dark grate that is behind my car. It's a killer."

*most places = my house

3. We carried the 4-50 pound bags up to the second floor and inside. Although I had kept the air-conditioning on (only a luxury I would afford my parents), it was about 650 degrees inside my place. My apartment is plenty big for one, but is a bit of a stretch for 3 plus 4 suitcases full of stuff. But, we got fairly sorted quickly, and started packing up for the next day's journey. Except that one of Gary's suitcases would not open. At all. So we had to cut it apart. Which was sweaty and frustrating. But, at least we were down to 3 people and three suitcases.

the rest of the night (thankfully) proceeded pretty uneventfully (considering it was bedtime), until I found out that:

4. Earlier that day, Mom and Gary had to 'lighten' the two suitcases they were bringing for me by about 10 pounds upon arrival to the airport in Des Moines. Before they arrived there, anticipating such a need, Mom and I discussed that whatever she needed to take out would be fine, not life or death, and to not worry about it. Upon the arrival in Japan, she presented me the list of things that she had taken out. Obviously, when I said 'anything you take out is fine', I meant 'anything but the five things you took out'. Here is an abbreviated list:

my brand new hard drive for my computer
the shampoo from a set of very expensive, huge sized, salon style hair care (but hey, at least I have the conditioner, right?)
a bottle of shampoo that a friend asked me to bring (since she wasn't going to get to America this summer)

You know what did make it though? Four jars of homemade jam, three unnecessary towels, and a huge blanket that I didn't even want to bring in the first place.

--

All of this, and they had only been in town for 3 hours.

Rationale

I have decided, that for no reason than just because, the following things are perfectly acceptable:


1. When I get on a flight on Wednesday morning, landing in Japan on Thursday evening (essetially skipping most of Thursday), it is ok for me to go ahead and eat Thursday's calories anyway. I mean, since I'm ACTUALLY doing 36 hours in 24, I get to eat, let's say, 800 more calories. It make the three Cinnabons that I eat at the airport ok.


2. If I spend SO much on my credit card that I almost can't imagine how I'm going to pay it, it is INSTEAD ok to call the credit card company and tell them that my card was actually stolen. You know, get all the money back through the theft protection program. I have already practiced lines such as the following:

'H&M? Never heard of it! Nope, I certainly didn't spend $200 dollars there! And twice! No way!'

or

'Hmmm, I don't think I was ever in New York City or Atlanta. Des Moines? That's Idaho, right? Nope, never been there...'


3. It is PERFECTLY alright to shower* at the Bath & Body Works airport stand.

*shower = inconspicuously 'trying' three or four different lotions on your forearms, upper arms, shoulders, and neck.

4. It is perfectly ok to be proud of your US Olympians. And to be really, really, really excited when you see them in the airport... Go USA!

Fine then.

During the last few months, it has been brought to my attention that a few (well, only about 3) people find my blog a bit 'depressing'. From a couple of people getting ready to move here (who don't need worse news than 'Hey! you're moving to Japan!' and are afraid to read what I have to say), to those who are older and wiser than I will be for a few years, I have heard this issue more than once (again, three times, to be exact).

This has prompted me to re-think the way I blog (for this posting only), and to assure my audience that I do, in fact, like living in Japan, and that my life really is good (the second is not so much a stretch as the first, as i use 'like' in the former sentence very loosely).

So, for one posting (and one posting only), let me portray (positively), ten things that are great about Japan:

10. I never get lost in a crowd.
9. The cute, old, baton-twirling men at the Jusco store who help me get my car out of the lot sure do keep traffic flowing nicely.
8. Since I live on the second floor, I don't have to worry about my underwear getting 'taken' off of my laundry line.
7. Eating raw fish has lowered my cholesterol.
6. Living here makes me feel like everything in America is on sale.
5. Learning to repeat myself hasn't really been a bad thing.
4. I never get lost in a crowd.
3.
2.
1.

Ok. Sorry, guys, I could only think of 7 things.

Tips for a successful holiday

At the commencement of my Hawiian holiday, I'd like to offer some words of advice to friends, family, and fellow travelers.

Holiday Tip #1: Don't empty out your beach bag on your bed. Sand in your neither parts is a real pain...

Holiday Tip #2: Best to wrap your camera and phone before you put it in your beach bag. Sand + camera = no photos. A camera case, or less-inexpensive sock, will do just fine.

Holiday Tip #3: If you want to eat Twizzlers, don't come to Hawaii. Evidently Hawaiians don't like Twizzlers, as they can't be found anywhere. Much to my dismay.

Holiday Tip #4: Recipe for enjoyment: 1.) Find the men playing beach volleyball. 2.) Sit and enjoy.

Holiday Tip #5: Do not eat donuts AND scrambled eggs for breakfast. Ever.

Holiday Tip #6: Sunburn sucks.

Holiday Tip #7: Be prepared to be slightly disappointed by all of the 'extras' your hotel offers such as Delicious Daily Complementary Breakfast*, Breakfast on the Beach**, Free Internet***, Evening Outdoor Movies on the Beach****, Working Elevators*****

*One breakfast choice per day, rotates every other day
** Where 'beach' means 'poolside'
*** Only in the lobby, with a weak signal, otherwise $9.99/day in your room
**** In season (where 'season' is 'not right now') only
***** Nope, they don't work either..

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The good:
Well, everything in Hawaii is good! The people are nice, the scenery is to die for. The water is fresh and cooling, and the sky is always blue. I couldn't describe 'good' as anything but this right now.





The bad:
I still haven't gotten out of the habit of using Japanese when I see people who look Asian. And, since everyone in Hawaii looks Asian, I find myself in yet another country still speaking words that people don't understand.
(Japanese people, notoriously known for sleeping everywhere, don't disappoint, even in Hawaii - this man takes a nap in the middle of a sundown hula show...)




The ugly:
My hair after a day circumnavigating Oahu island in an open-roofed Jeep...

Pinkeye

Sucks.

Our Field Trip

You know, field trips in Japan are much different than the ones in America.

They're a lot more low-key, and don't necessarily have to do anything with learning objectives as much as just getting out of school. They are not limited to number, but how much money is available (which allows most grades to take 2 or 3 a year).

This year our second and last field trip was to the Nagoya City Science Museum. A week later, as I am reflecting, I am still having a hard time deciding what was the best part?

Was it the students' enthusiasm to learn about Pterosaurs?


Was it the amount of inferential thinking I had to use since EVERY sign that talked about the exhibit was in Japanese?

Was it that for the first time in almost 6 months I found Diet Coke in the vending machine?

Was it the nap I got to take on the ride home?

or,

Was it that my teaching assistant, Mrs. Adachi, had a backpack that said the word 'bitch' on it?



I mean, really, these are tough calls. I just can't decide...

Peer reflection

Our last unit of writing this year was doing All About books (a fancy term for writing non-fiction). Students were asked to pick a topic in which they felt they were an expert in, and we spent the better half of a month working on creating pages for these books based on emulating the authors of non-fiction texts in our classroom. It was a great project, and the books turned out really well, with students' work ranging in topic from Soccer, Horses, Service Dogs, and Capacity.

During our author celebration, each student had an opportunity to read the work of 6 or 7 other students and write a short, positive note to tell the author what was good, what needed improvement, or something that they learned.

One of my students, whom I will call B, decided that her topic would be 'Church Schools'. Although she didn't have as much to write as other students, her book still turned out well. And it is her book that led to an afternoon of laughter between myself and my peers, for the following comments that were made in the back of her book (peer assessments by other students)...

6 degrees of separation

I met my new friend Oriana through the most ordinary of circumstances, although our finding each other was evidently destiny.

Please enjoy our story of a chance meeting within 4 degrees of separation (which makes us much cooler and much closer than Kevin Bacon), followed by the impossible-ness of it all.

1st degree:
In December, I went to Bali. After having the time of my life, I decided to keep up with my new friends through Facebook, an online site that I had been avoiding for years. Within a couple of months, and by finding friends of friends of friends, I had doubled and tripled the amount of friends from my Bali group to include college, high school, Kiwi, and Waukee friends.

Not so long after opening my Facebook account, I was approached by a random Nihon-jin (Japanese person) who was evidently destined to find me: a Nagoyan-born citizen studying his doctorate at the University of Iowa. The chances of that? Slim and none. So, I invited the nice man, called Sato, to join my group of Facebook friends.

2nd degree:
After talking to Sato for a few months, I fell into my usual drone of talking about the lack of people around here to talk to, and he offered to introduce me to his friend Kirsty, a Brit, whom he also randomly met through Facebook. Kirsty and I had a coffee one day in a small shopping district called Osukanon, and spent the afternoon gabbing and chatting and having a right good time.

3rd degree:
Kirsty has a roommate called Will, another Brit, who is gay and terribly cool. Will is an English language teacher at a middle school in Nagoya, a job which is both underpaid and under appreciated.

4th degree:
Will's friend Oriana is another ELT in his company. The two of them are the only young people in their company's group of 30, so they hit it off immediately. They spend a lot of time together sipping coffee, drinking beer, and picking up men. Exactly what friends should do.

Oriana is a Kiwi. Her nana, Tereza, works at an elementary school in Ponsonby, Auckland. The name of the school? Richmond Road, which sits at 150 Ponsonby Road. A place where (and hopefully the name sounds familiar to many of you), for 10 months, yours truly walked to, and taught in, almost every single day.

------

While sitting out at a bar last weekend, completely oblivious what we were about to find out, Oriana and I had the following conversation (which is not word-for-word, but instead taken best from my memory after having had a few beers):

W: So, Kirsty tells me your a Kiwi?
O: Yeah! And she told me that you lived there for a year as well?
W: Yes. I loved it.
O: Where did you stay?
W: In Auckland. What part of New Zealand are you from?
O: Auckland as well, but from the east side, about 40 minutes out. I came into the
city each day for school, though.
W: Do you know the bar S.P.Q.R. in Ponsonby? It was one of my favorite places.
O: Oh. I don't know it. So, what were you doing in New Zealand?
W: Teaching. I left America to try my hand at teaching abroad, and it seemed like a
good place to start.
O: Where did you teach?
W: Ponsonby, in Auckland.
O: (slowly) Uhhh... which school?
W: It's called Richmond Road Primary, on Ponsonby Road.
O: (looking shocked) My nana works there! Wait... wait... no... you're not 'the'
Wendy, are you.
W: Um, I'm not sure.
O: My nana is Teresa, and she told me that you would be coming to Japan and that I
should look for you!
W: Your nana is Teresa? Mother? We called her Mother!
O: Yes, that's my nana! No way. No WAY! I can't believe it...

-----

Now, keep in mind, that 1.) That Oriana's nana Tereza had told her months earlier 'A girl from our school, Wendy, is moving to Japan. Well, maybe it's Korea, but it's either Japan or Korea. She's somewhere there, so look out for her.' and 2.) Japan is a country of more than 127 million people, very few of whom are foreigners, of whom even less live in Nagoya.

The chances? Slim and none. But, without sounding too cliche', it's a small, small world.

Murphy's Law

Today, my day followed Murphy's Law...

It actually began last Friday night, after a night out with friends. I was sound asleep when I woke dead up to remember that I had accidentally scheduled a Japanese lesson with my NEW Japanese teacher on the same day and time that I had scheduled a make-up tutoring session on Monday (today). Since neither are part of my regularly scheduled weekly routine, I hadn't realized the prior arrangement when I scheduled the Japanese lesson earlier that day.

In a panic (and in the middle of the night) I realized that I would not be able to cancel on Japanese for two reasons: 1) Because it's Japan, and you just don't do that, and 2) I don't have the vocabulary for it. So, I decided to just cancel my tutoring session for this week. Except that I didn't actually e-mail my student's father until just this morning. He is very flexible, and didn't mind the cancellation. I told him that I would tell Mikaela to get on the bus instead of staying after school, and to expect her at the bus stop at the usual after-school time.

Arriving at school feeling like I had accomplished quite a few e-mails before even beginning my day, my principal dropped in to remind me of my 4pm meeting with him in the afternoon. Realizing that I had not only double-, but triple-booked myself for that afternoon, I bowed and apologized (and swore at myself) profusely, and caneclled yet another meeting, as I realized again, that I would not be able to cancel on (my apparently troubling) Japanese lesson (see above reasons).

Before school started, my Japanese teaching assistant, Mrs. Adachi, walked in to let me know that some tickets I had purchased for an out-of-town trip I am taking next week (and taking two more unpaid days for) were actually to the wrong station. The cancellation fee, plus handling fee are going to cost me about $40, not to mention that my ACTUAL destination costs twice as much to go to. I am supposed to leave on Sunday, and am still awaiting tickets to my desired destination.

Mid-morning, the HS Softball coach came to talk to me about this weekend's upcoming MS softball tournament in Osaka, which, I am of course responsible for taking 15 girls to. It had not been mentioned to me, in a previous meeting, that I would have to miss a day of school for this, which, of course, requires finding a sub, planning plans, and making advance preparations. All of this on three days notice. Which, coupled with my two days off next week (see 'out-of-town trip' above), means I now have three sub days in a row to plan for. What also wasn't mentioned? That the tournament in Osaka would not only take me out of school on Friday, but would eat my entire Saturday, leaving me NO time to be at school to plan the last two of these sub days.

Then, at the post office, I had to wait THIRTY minutes (thus wasting a good hour of my lunch time) to pay two bills. I suppose because they were not busy and I am American. It just doesn't work in my favor most of the time. They had to make 37 phone calls to verify my existence, and were reluctant to even let me go after it all. I just wanted to scream 'Just take my money, bitches!'. But of course, I haven't learned THOSE words in Japanese either.

Discipline problems during school, coupled with having one hour to find all of my softball girls to hand out permission slips (while tutoring a student at the same time) made my afternoon a busy one. By about 3:45, though, I was breathing a little easier, and packing up to be at my (troublesome) Japanese lesson at half-four.

I thought all might be well...

Then I looked down and noticed my little Mikaela's stuff still sitting at her table. Immediately, my life turned into a slow-motion movie. I looked up to see her playing outside with her friends, and slowly reached my hand up to slap my forehead (while at the same time silently yelling 'No..o..oo.oo'- seriously, like a slow motion movie).

I had COMPLETELY forgotten to tell her to get on the bus.

(post script - all was well that ended well. mikaela's dad was contacted, and a neighbor, still at school, offered to take her home. i reached my japanese lesson right on time, and am currently STILL apologizing to mikaela's dad for my blunder...)

Huey Lewis and the News*

*where 'the News' = Wendy Foreman

Long awaited, the picture finally arrived. I wonder, though, does Huey choose to make his face look like this in all pictures? Like a joke or something?

Oh, and Gary - the head(s) behind him? Chicago...

Worth posting...

Don't ask questions. Just watch it.

We Are The World

(Mad, mad, mad props to my friendy Jen for forwarding this to me...)

Look how cute my students are!

A week or so ago, the students of 2nd grade culminated a unit on Japan by trying their hands at various things about Japanese culture. My teaching assistant, Shuuko, took these pictures of the little kiddos (and one big kiddo) making origami, practicing calligraphy (with real calligraphy brushes and ink, and yes, I did draw that all by myself), and participating in a traditional tea ceremony (with super bowing and all).

So much fun. So much cuteness!

Kazuhide

Background information for this article:

In Japan, there is a monthly magazine, printed nationwide, called 'Japanzine'. Inside are trendy ads, local restaurants, music scenes, and fun articles, all geared towards foreigners.

By FAR, the best part of the magazine each month is the small Q&A section penned by a Japanese man named Kazuhide (Kah-zoo-high-dee). Now, how much of a farce it is, I'll never REALLY know, but the premise is for foreigners to write in with semi-dumb/offensive questions, to which Kazuhide, in an equally offensive and vulgar way, will politely answer, in really bad Japanese ('reary' bad).

The answers are usually mostly-offensive towards Americans, and are ALWAYS laugh-out-loud funny. If you take it with a grain of salt, that is.

Two questions/answers in last month's 'Ask Kazuhide' feature article got HUGE laughs in the staff room, and are worth copying down for your enjoyment (particularly funny - the second one). But, if you are going to read further, please be prepared to be offended, as we are, when reading it, each month (i.e. Becky, this is not for Lauren's eyes!). Just to be safe, though in four places, I have replaced, or added clarification/censorship, using the following marks: []...

----
'Ask Kazuhide' (Japanzine, April 2008)

Hello Kazu!
Why are some Japanese people reverse-racist to foreigners. I went to a public swimming pool with my Japanese friend, only to be denied entry because I am a foreigner, or I don't look Japanese.
- Beached Swimmer

Dear Swimnner,
Idiot! That is regular racism, not reverse. This low brain ability is dangerous for swimming so we protect you and protect Japan from HIV.

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Yo Kazuhide,
I have a question? Why are Japanese guys so hung up (pun totally intended) by the size of their lower parts? I love Japanese guys. After a few beers and dodgy Japlish conversation at an izakaya, I am usually in the mood to feel the motion of their ocean, so to speak.
Which is when they ruin my mood (and their chances of getting laid) by telling me, quite empithatically, that they have really small things. What's the deal? Don't they realize that I'd much rather find out (and judge) for myself than have them tell me. You seem to be an expert on Gaijin [foreigners]-Nihonjin [Japanese] relations! Help a mystified girl out!
- Mystified

Dear Mystified,
Japan is indirect and porite country. Basicarry they say [insert most direct name for male anatomy] is small not to offend. Truth is they fear your large [insert equally offensive term for female anatomy].

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